Frienship to relationship

[tbuk10]

HI have been friends with a fella for the past 20 years, and only looked at him as a good friend, during my marriage and divorce which was finalised in Jan 07.He has always called everynight even when my ex was here ( he was originally his friend but he dosent know how to treat friends.
However 18 months ago ( altho i was still married but had been technically single for 18 months he asked me if i would see him in a diff light asthey say) and said he did me. I mulled on it for a while and 2 weeks ago arranged to meet him and things are going ok but very slowly as we both have our own lives mapped out at the moment and stay that way . We are trying to make plans to see each other once a fortnight as its the only time my ex has the kids but hes still phoning me every day.
The kids are trying to matchmake us anyway so they would be fine with the situation if it did come to anything. My only concern is in loosing the long standing frienship if all did go wrong. Any one have any thougths on this one thanks

[Scott]

Yes, in any friendship-to-relationship situation, you risk losing the friendship if it all goes wrong. You can try to sugarcoat that all you like, but there's always that risk. With that said, you're already in a quasi-relationship with this man, right? Even if you did decide it was a bad idea, I don't think you could easily turn back now (unless I'm misunderstanding your situation). I certainly don't believe that it would be (or was) a bad idea to begin a relationship, though -- the last thing you want is to spend the rest of your life wondering what if...

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by tbuk10

My only concern is in loosing the long standing friendship if all did go wrong. Any one have any thoughts on this one thanks

So, you're saying: when I consider having a relationship, I go into the future and worry about the loss I may have. Therefore I will not have relationship in the present because of what the future might bring..


See what you're doing? I won't give me what I want now because something might happen in the future. That feels pretty lame doesn't it? Have courage tbuk to have what you want now and the wherewithal to choose a different life/relationship if that option presents itself down the line.

[CR1]

If you both know eachother pretty well and take things steady, obviously if you feel like your going to get burned step back.