Waiting Until You're Ready

[glassflank]

Can anyone comment on this idea of waiting until you're ready?

There is one are of my life I have some issues with and want to deal with them, but it seems I am not ready.

Does anyone have any more specific ways or examples of how they can tell when they are ready to deal with something?

Is it possible to speed up this 'getting ready' process? Or perhaps design your life to enjoy the process more until you are ready?

In my specific case I would like more women in my life, and I can tell some of my systems aren't down for it. I do seem to be in the process of becoming more independent emotionally, which may be related. I am mostly ok with waiting, but also worry about how long I'm going to have to wait until I can deal with this, I don't want to waste any of my life waiting unnecessarily.

[wstein]

I highly recommend waiting until you are ready if at all possible. Sometimes life forces your hand.

Speeding up getting ready is very possible. This is often referred to as removing blocks. For those so inclined counseling can help with this. Some types of activities such as education also have clearly spelled out prerequisites that they require before you will be allowed to participate.

As far as dating (women in your case), getting out there and socializing is the best way to get ready (i.e. make friends and acquaintances with both men and women). Besides gaining valuable skills and interpersonal experience, the social network you build will aid in finding suitable matches when you are ready. That being said, when it comes to dating, most people think they need to be far more ready than is actually required. If you are just feeling uncomfortable (not afraid), you are as ready as need be.

[glassflank]

Hey WStein,

This is really good, what I needed to hear. It's good to get that re-enforcement, like a sanity test. I've pushed myself far too much at the wrong times in the past.

I can only say I'll keep waiting for now, but I'll take the opportunities to keep my social skills sharp in the meantime.

Thanks for your support.

Nathan.

Originally Posted by wstein

I highly recommend waiting until you are ready if at all possible. Sometimes life forces your hand.

Speeding up getting ready is very possible. This is often referred to as removing blocks. For those so inclined counseling can help with this. Some types of activities such as education also have clearly spelled out prerequisites that they require before you will be allowed to participate.

As far as dating (women in your case), getting out there and socializing is the best way to get ready (i.e. make friends and acquaintances with both men and women). Besides gaining valuable skills and interpersonal experience, the social network you build will aid in finding suitable matches when you are ready. That being said, when it comes to dating, most people think they need to be far more ready than is actually required. If you are just feeling uncomfortable (not afraid), you are as ready as need be.

[parijata]

There are situations in life we are not 'ready' to face, we will never be ready to face them as they haven't happened to us yet. we haven't dealt with it.

When it comes to liking someone, unless you are sure you like her and you want to be with her, you can wait till you deal with that situation. In other experiences there is no waiting time, you can't learn from the environment or what other people say as their lives are not the same as yours.

In order to deal with something, just break it down and deal with the pieces one at a time. By solving each piece of the problem, you will gain experience and more strength to deal with the next piece.