I don't know why But I like older women

[Neo Master]

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

After I met this one older woman who always used to flirt with and talk to me I started liking older women. I can also talk to them about more things. And they are not after guys just to see what they can get from them. I don;t know what it is but I like older women.

Also I know lots of women in their 30s like younger guys. And I have a young looking face so I look younger than 23. I wish I could find a pretty older woman and marry her one day. Yeah I know it sounds crazy, But I really think I could be happy with an older woman. Also they are not just playing stupid mind games with guys. Like the young girls my age or the 18 and 19 year olds.

What do you think? Am I crazy? lol

Just some of my thoughts tonight.

[da1prophet]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

After I met this one older woman who always used to flirt with and talk to me I started liking older women. I can also talk to them about more things. And they are not after guys just to see what they can get from them. I don;t know what it is but I like older women.

Also I know lots of women in their 30s like younger guys. And I have a young looking face so I look younger than 23. I wish I could find a pretty older woman and marry her one day. Yeah I know it sounds crazy, But I really think I could be happy with an older woman. Also they are not just playing stupid mind games with guys. Like the young girls my age or the 18 and 19 year olds.

What do you think? Am I crazy? lol

Just some of my thoughts tonight.

You haven't been drinking tonight, have you? ; )

Seriously though you're not crazy....the trick is to just quit thinking of age as anything more than a number. You may find yourself gravitating to older women or you may not. If you don't mind me playing armchair analyst here, this is my take on the situation--you're probably more mature than most people your age. What you like about older women is the fact that they've been able to transition from their teenage years and become self sufficient, confident and productive adults. The fact is that some people do this at different ages--some are well into their late 20's and 30's before they really "become" an adult. Of course most people in their early 20's and certainly their late teens have yet to do so.

Here's my experience with *younger* women--I just turned 40 and have recently been divorced. I live in a college town and I'm fortunate that I have plenty of college aged girls that are attracted to me. Now the ability to pull chicks half my age is nothing to take lightly and I'm thankful that I still have that option. On balance, I'd certainly rather have it than *not* have it. The novelty quickly wears off, however--I could have a revolving door of 20 year old hotties if I so desired but I don't find them particularly interesting or attractive beyond a superficial level probably for similar reasons as you.

The point I'm making is twofold--first, don't assume that just because a woman is older that she's going to be desperate for a younger man. This isn't to say that you *can't* pull a hot older woman, but that you'll have to have more going for you than looks alone. More importantly, however, is my second point: don't worry about age so much--yours or hers. Assuming you're not out chasing jailbait age really is just a number--the trick is to seek out someone with whom you provide reciprocal value in each others lives. In your case, that person may very well be older but its not so much the age I think you're attracted to as it is the things that come with age like a better developed sense of identity and purpose.

[Mark Lapierre]

I was with one older woman a few years ago (I was 21, she was 28. Back then that seemed a big difference ). She was a little too loopy for my tastes. Which is saying a lot, 'cos I'm most attracted to girls who most people would consider weird

But I also recently met a woman (35, I'm now 28) who is definitely not into younger guys, or any guy who doesn't have something more than just good looks to offer. Thankfully I'm not that much younger than her, and my looks, good as they are, are the least of what I have to offer. Unfortunately she lives in the US :/

And all the single women in my life who I respect are looking for older men. Younger guys generally lack maturity and they're all fed up with them.

But there are some lovely 30+ women on this site. Lets hear from them

[openeyes]

For much of my life I've made a point of not discriminating by age, gender, or race. My primary interest is life experience, both my own and those of others, so whoever I'm with has to be more than physically attractive. Thus I've dated men and women that vary from being about my age to a 59 year old female professor (not one of mine) when I was 20 that I even ended up living with for a while. She wasn't an outlier, as I've dated people throughout the spectrum, from mid 20s, 30s, and 40s. Most people that get to know me in person say I've had more life experiences than many 50 year olds, so it's not just a pretty face that draws people to me

So, have at it. Benjamin Franklin recommended older women as well, though his reasons aren't completely flattering.

Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745)

[Dr Gonzo]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

After I met this one older woman who always used to flirt with and talk to me I started liking older women. I can also talk to them about more things. And they are not after guys just to see what they can get from them. I don;t know what it is but I like older women.

Mmm. Older women who know what they want and know how to get it. Yummy.

I could be happy with an older woman.

In addition, there is another option - if you can't find a suitable 40 year old, get two 20 year olds.

Gonzo

[Lola]

I can't speak for all of us, but this "older woman" is looking for a guy who:

Is honest. As in genuine and authentic.

Has his act together. Knows who he is and what he wants.

Isn't looking for a mother for himself or his (future or present) children. Been there, done that.

Is gainfully employed.

Knows how and when to have fun.

Is respectful and appreciative of me and doesn't skimp on the adoration .

Has opinions. And isn't threatened by mine.

And while physical attraction is certainly on the list, it's about more than a pretty face. I had good-looking and charming in my 20's and it turned out to be a mask for insecurity and abuse.

Like prophet said, age is just a number. And maturity happens for different people at different ages. I dated a 28 yr old guy last year (when I was 45) and he was WAY more mature than the 49 yr old I went with a couple of times last month.

[shesaboutspirit]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

What do you think? Am I crazy? lol

Just some of my thoughts tonight.

Hi all,

I'm forty-five, so guess I qualify as older now. I think it's nice that a young man is exploring different women of various ages and experiences. It's probably one of those things that will ebb and flow over the years, depending on ones own state of mind and such. As da1prophet mentioned, there may be a time later when experiencing a younger gal will be what you need. Who knows?

I think our needs are in somewhat of a constant state of change in this regard. When I wanted to get married, I chose someone older, who I felt was a stable and decent person to have a family with. That's less about age and more about a persons personality and values and such. So he just happened to be a few years older.

As a now single older gal...I tend to stick with men my own age. It's mostly about life experience now. I want someone similar to myself where we have common view points and histories. It feels more comfortable this way. My younger self tended to find polarities more exciting and thrilling, where as now, that just makes me feel tired.

One final comment if I may? Whenever I read someone make a comment about girls being "slutty", I simply cringe. This could probably be its own thread actually. It feels like such an outdated and biased judgment to me. Why is it that a woman who enjoys sex gets such a nasty label...and what might a man with similar passion be labeled in that regard? Why can't people just enjoy physical intimacy without the judgment?

Maybe a gal my age can enjoy sexual freedom and be considered independent and sensual because she is somehow more free from the former title...or something. I don't know...just pondering it anyway.


blessings,

Pam

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by Lola

I can't speak for all of us, but this "older woman" is looking for a guy who:

Is honest. As in genuine and authentic.

Has his act together. Knows who he is and what he wants.

Isn't looking for a mother for himself or his (future or present) children. Been there, done that.

Is gainfully employed.

Knows how and when to have fun.

Is respectful and appreciative of me and doesn't skimp on the adoration .

Has opinions. And isn't threatened by mine.

And while physical attraction is certainly on the list, it's about more than a pretty face. I had good-looking and charming in my 20's and it turned out to be a mask for insecurity and abuse.

Like prophet said, age is just a number. And maturity happens for different people at different ages. I dated a 28 yr old guy last year (when I was 45) and he was WAY more mature than the 49 yr old I went with a couple of times last month.

There are younger women seeking men who possess these characteristics, too.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Just a note from a mid twenties woman...I didn't even have a sexual relationship (of any kind) until I was 25. We are not all "slutty" and immature. But I can see why you might think it based on some of the females out there. I guess what I am saying is, if you like older women, then by all means go for it. Just don't automatically apply your stereotypes of the younger ones to us all. You may be surprised at what some young women have to offer. (If they haven't been screwed over by the men their age - just kidding).

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

One final comment if I may? Whenever I read someone make a comment about girls being "slutty", I simply cringe. This could probably be its own thread actually. It feels like such an outdated and biased judgment to me. Why is it that a woman who enjoys sex gets such a nasty label...and what might a man with similar passion be labeled in that regard? Why can't people just enjoy physical intimacy without the judgment?

I enjoyed "The Ethical Slut" in part because it sought to redeem the term to being a description of someone who knows what they want and goes for it. The ethical part means doing it in such a way that others are less apt to get hurt. I would find such a person much more attractive than one who is afraid to act on her desires or doesn't even know what her desires are. Yeah, this could definitely be another thread.

[m0vingon]

Speaking as a mid-thirties woman, I can appreciate the fact that you are attracted to older women. There are probably more guys like you than you think, so I'd say it's not too crazy. I'm in school (again) and there are plenty of younger guys who are attracted to me. The problem is that lots of them are also intimidated and as such won't make a significant move. For me that's a deal breaker, I need someone who's secure enough to ask me out.

If you're looking for someone who's fairly grounded, independent, and knows what she wants, then 30+ is a good group for that. Furthermore, if she's divorced she'll likely be into dating for that sake of dating, it's not a race to get married. When I was younger, previous to being married, it was all about finding someone to marry. I certainly don't have that issue anymore! I see myself as the perfect date for a younger guy, I'm only available on weekends when my kids are gone, so no obsessive calling or neediness, no desire to get married or shack up, just looking for a nice guy to spend relaxing time with... oh yeah... and sex is nice too

[shesaboutspirit]

Originally Posted by openeyes

I enjoyed "The Ethical Slut" in part because it sought to redeem the term to being a description of someone who knows what they want and goes for it. The ethical part means doing it in such a way that others are less apt to get hurt. I would find such a person much more attractive than one who is afraid to act on her desires or doesn't even know what her desires are. Yeah, this could definitely be another thread.

Hmm. I keep trying, but no matter how I read this, it feels offensive. There is no way to use the word slut that isn't offensive and judgmental, in my opinion. We are all just people having experiences. I guess on that note, maybe I can just accept that some people like to view women that way...and let it go.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

Hmm. I keep trying, but no matter how I read this, it feels offensive. There is no way to use the word slut that isn't offensive and judgmental, in my opinion. We are all just people having experiences. I guess on that note, maybe I can just accept that some people like to view women that way...and let it go.

Another way to word it may be "redeeming the behaviors described as slutty". I don't personally use the term as it has too many negative connations, and feel that much of the behavior it describes (being aware of and enjoying one's sexuality) can be done ethically, as detailed in "The Ethical Slut", a sex-positive book written by women.

[shesaboutspirit]

aaahh. Thanks for clarifying that for me. I haven't heard of that book and wasn't sure where the term was coming from or who it was referring to.

I understand now.

Pam

[Jay Bee]

Hi

I see a double standard going on here, there is nothing wrong with older women speaking for myself of course LOL!!

How come Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones have a 25 year age gap and that is considered OK by society but when it comes to the reverse a younger man and an older woman then it is considered somewhat taboo and Neomaster even feels he has to post on here about his feelings for being attracted to older women?? Like there is something wrong with him......I don't see the Michael Douglas's of this world posting here??

Age is just a number right? You can have people in their 20's and 30's who are soo old and set in their ways and people in their 40's and 50's and beyond who are young at heart....go and watch a series from the UK called Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women and see that you youngsters weren't the ones who invented Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll LOL!!

Barb

[ZHereford]

As an older woman, compared to your 24 years anyway, I actually prefer younger men. I find them generally more fun and less set in their ways than men my age. I'm married, but if I weren't, I would definitely gravitate towards the younger fellows.

I think that rather than the age being the factor, it's the mindset and level of maturity.

So I guess to answer your question - I think it's cool that you like older women!

[Lallymac]

I'm 49 and at 43 I had a 4 year relationship with a man 15 years younger than me. At the time my older three children were in their mid to late teens and my youngest daughter was 6. I have a raft of friends of all ages so when he joined in as a friend no-one flinched. It was a surprise to me when our friendship developed into a relationship because I'd been married to and in a long term relationship with two men older than me before I met him.
I hadn't even considered younger men as an option. He was a very attractive man and I was a mum with four kids so hadn't thought he was interested in me like that. He'd been engaged to a lady a bit younger than him before I met him.
I enjoyed his company because he was so curious about everything, had a quick mind and was disarmingly honest. We had a lot in common. We read the same books, liked the same movies, music, food, hobbies, beliefs, values etc.
Because we got on so well no-one flinched when our friendship developed further. His parents and mine got on together and are still friends. My kids really liked him.
It fell over when we both started to futurise. He wanted his own family and I was ready to move forward with my life again. It was a hard relationship to walk away from because a very tangible love had grown between us. In the end I loved him too much to ask him to compromise himself for me. We parted as friends and still stay in touch.
Lallymac

[Alex2007]

Very romantic story Lallymac. This is the problem with younger men. They start wanting a family and things like that.

Good that you manage to keep him as a friend....This is important...

Life has better surprises for you ahead. Keep your creative mind looking for them!!! At 49 you are still young and you have a whole life full of joy out there wating for you....


Alex

[Lallymac]

Thank for your lovely message Alex. I believe you are right.
That particular relationship bought an awesome gift with it.
Although it took awhile to get there, it's a wonderful feeling to love someone and set them free.
I'm sure we'll meet again in another life. You can't chain love or tie it down. You appreciate it so much more when it settles freely beside you.

Lallymac

[blueman70]

To each his own - some like older, some like younger. I prefer the younger

[Asmoday]

More than anything...I think who cares?

You like what you like, you want what you want.

So be it. No need to justify your wants and tastes.

[Jay Bee]

Exactly Asmoday

I have never heard Rod Stewart justifying his obvious attraction for much younger than him, leggy, blondes

Barb

[elfly]

I have the complaint from the other side. All my guy friends and ex's seem to go for older women. Apparently, according to one of them they know what they want, especially in bed and the lack of neediness is a bonus. But these relationships never ending up being just a short term thing. They usually turn into very serious relationships and then often marriage. I actually find it really hard to keep a guy around my own age. I think maybe I get to intense with feelings ect. I guess its all the disappointments, and then fun experiences that give us the depth that allows us to be the older hot woman that all the guys want to be with. In fact I'm sort of looking forward to it!

[Cron]

Originally Posted by da1prophet

You haven't been drinking tonight, have you? ; )
The point I'm making is twofold--first, don't assume that just because a woman is older that she's going to be desperate for a younger man. This isn't to say that you *can't* pull a hot older woman, but that you'll have to have more going for you than looks alone.

Isn't that what it is all about for people who consistently go for people much younger than they are? As you mentioned in your post, many (not all) people in their 20s haven't grown into mature, self sufficent, confident, interesting and well rounded people yet. Given that, what is left in that entire age ( except for individuals who don't "act their age" ) group for an older woman aside from looks?

More importantly, however, is my second point: don't worry about age so much--yours or hers. Assuming you're not out chasing jailbait age really is just a number--the trick is to seek out someone with whom you provide reciprocal value in each others lives. In your case, that person may very well be older but its not so much the age I think you're attracted to as it is the things that come with age like a better developed sense of identity and purpose.

Exactly. While some generalities may hold I meet people all of the time who defy ageist stereotypes. People can be stuck in their ways, immature, a bore or sunny, exciting etc at a variety of ages.

FWIW, I think women in their 40s who have stayed fit are the sexiest. I felt that as a teenager when that group was out of reach and I feel that way now years and years later.

[rikun]

You're not alone buddy. I like almost exclusively older women. And it's perfectly fine, but it makes life harder. Less options and since most women prefer older men, it's getting frustrating. There is rarely a case when somebody younger than 30 really interests me in a deeper level.

And I don't even know why I like 'em older. They are just so awesome. Maybe it's about intellect, maybe it's them being so comfortable being themselves.

[Lynni]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like.

Hey, what's not to like?

[m18pak]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

So you are okay with them having been immature and super slutty when they were younger?

[NotesMaeve]

Oddly enough, I love my older man because he's immature and super slutty. Two of his finest qualities, really.

[cdn2wheeler]

Older women, by and large, have it hands down over the university & grad school crowd. They're far less willing to be passive; they know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it (when I say "it," that could refer to anything, from a man to a career to anything else). There's much less self-induced drama in their lives too, and far less energy spent on infantile "chase-me" games.

If they've been - to use another's phrase - immature and super slutty when they were younger, that's perfectly OK by me. There's a whole "been there, done that" mentality and maturity that comes with more experienced women, which I personally think is great. They're not out to prove anything to anyone anymore.

In the last 24 hours I've personally found myself in the crosshairs of a very attractive divorcee who's 7 years my senior... won't be able to get together with her for about a week because of my schedule, but who knows? Might be interesting..!

[andrew]

Originally Posted by Dr Gonzo

In addition, there is another option - if you can't find a suitable 40 year old, get two 20 year olds.

Gonzo

Brilliant.