I don't know why But I like older women

[Neo Master]

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

After I met this one older woman who always used to flirt with and talk to me I started liking older women. I can also talk to them about more things. And they are not after guys just to see what they can get from them. I don;t know what it is but I like older women.

Also I know lots of women in their 30s like younger guys. And I have a young looking face so I look younger than 23. I wish I could find a pretty older woman and marry her one day. Yeah I know it sounds crazy, But I really think I could be happy with an older woman. Also they are not just playing stupid mind games with guys. Like the young girls my age or the 18 and 19 year olds.

What do you think? Am I crazy? lol

Just some of my thoughts tonight.

[da1prophet]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

After I met this one older woman who always used to flirt with and talk to me I started liking older women. I can also talk to them about more things. And they are not after guys just to see what they can get from them. I don;t know what it is but I like older women.

Also I know lots of women in their 30s like younger guys. And I have a young looking face so I look younger than 23. I wish I could find a pretty older woman and marry her one day. Yeah I know it sounds crazy, But I really think I could be happy with an older woman. Also they are not just playing stupid mind games with guys. Like the young girls my age or the 18 and 19 year olds.

What do you think? Am I crazy? lol

Just some of my thoughts tonight.

You haven't been drinking tonight, have you? ; )

Seriously though you're not crazy....the trick is to just quit thinking of age as anything more than a number. You may find yourself gravitating to older women or you may not. If you don't mind me playing armchair analyst here, this is my take on the situation--you're probably more mature than most people your age. What you like about older women is the fact that they've been able to transition from their teenage years and become self sufficient, confident and productive adults. The fact is that some people do this at different ages--some are well into their late 20's and 30's before they really "become" an adult. Of course most people in their early 20's and certainly their late teens have yet to do so.

Here's my experience with *younger* women--I just turned 40 and have recently been divorced. I live in a college town and I'm fortunate that I have plenty of college aged girls that are attracted to me. Now the ability to pull chicks half my age is nothing to take lightly and I'm thankful that I still have that option. On balance, I'd certainly rather have it than *not* have it. The novelty quickly wears off, however--I could have a revolving door of 20 year old hotties if I so desired but I don't find them particularly interesting or attractive beyond a superficial level probably for similar reasons as you.

The point I'm making is twofold--first, don't assume that just because a woman is older that she's going to be desperate for a younger man. This isn't to say that you *can't* pull a hot older woman, but that you'll have to have more going for you than looks alone. More importantly, however, is my second point: don't worry about age so much--yours or hers. Assuming you're not out chasing jailbait age really is just a number--the trick is to seek out someone with whom you provide reciprocal value in each others lives. In your case, that person may very well be older but its not so much the age I think you're attracted to as it is the things that come with age like a better developed sense of identity and purpose.

[Mark Lapierre]

I was with one older woman a few years ago (I was 21, she was 28. Back then that seemed a big difference ). She was a little too loopy for my tastes. Which is saying a lot, 'cos I'm most attracted to girls who most people would consider weird

But I also recently met a woman (35, I'm now 28) who is definitely not into younger guys, or any guy who doesn't have something more than just good looks to offer. Thankfully I'm not that much younger than her, and my looks, good as they are, are the least of what I have to offer. Unfortunately she lives in the US :/

And all the single women in my life who I respect are looking for older men. Younger guys generally lack maturity and they're all fed up with them.

But there are some lovely 30+ women on this site. Lets hear from them

[openeyes]

For much of my life I've made a point of not discriminating by age, gender, or race. My primary interest is life experience, both my own and those of others, so whoever I'm with has to be more than physically attractive. Thus I've dated men and women that vary from being about my age to a 59 year old female professor (not one of mine) when I was 20 that I even ended up living with for a while. She wasn't an outlier, as I've dated people throughout the spectrum, from mid 20s, 30s, and 40s. Most people that get to know me in person say I've had more life experiences than many 50 year olds, so it's not just a pretty face that draws people to me

So, have at it. Benjamin Franklin recommended older women as well, though his reasons aren't completely flattering.

Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745)

[Dr Gonzo]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

After I met this one older woman who always used to flirt with and talk to me I started liking older women. I can also talk to them about more things. And they are not after guys just to see what they can get from them. I don;t know what it is but I like older women.

Mmm. Older women who know what they want and know how to get it. Yummy.

I could be happy with an older woman.

In addition, there is another option - if you can't find a suitable 40 year old, get two 20 year olds.

Gonzo

[Lola]

I can't speak for all of us, but this "older woman" is looking for a guy who:

Is honest. As in genuine and authentic.

Has his act together. Knows who he is and what he wants.

Isn't looking for a mother for himself or his (future or present) children. Been there, done that.

Is gainfully employed.

Knows how and when to have fun.

Is respectful and appreciative of me and doesn't skimp on the adoration .

Has opinions. And isn't threatened by mine.

And while physical attraction is certainly on the list, it's about more than a pretty face. I had good-looking and charming in my 20's and it turned out to be a mask for insecurity and abuse.

Like prophet said, age is just a number. And maturity happens for different people at different ages. I dated a 28 yr old guy last year (when I was 45) and he was WAY more mature than the 49 yr old I went with a couple of times last month.

[shesaboutspirit]

Originally Posted by Neo Master

Hey I think I like older women. I don't mean super old. But older than me. Like in theri 30s or even 40s. I don;t know there's something about a mature woman I like. First of all they are not immature and super slutty like the girls my age. I am 24.

What do you think? Am I crazy? lol

Just some of my thoughts tonight.

Hi all,

I'm forty-five, so guess I qualify as older now. I think it's nice that a young man is exploring different women of various ages and experiences. It's probably one of those things that will ebb and flow over the years, depending on ones own state of mind and such. As da1prophet mentioned, there may be a time later when experiencing a younger gal will be what you need. Who knows?

I think our needs are in somewhat of a constant state of change in this regard. When I wanted to get married, I chose someone older, who I felt was a stable and decent person to have a family with. That's less about age and more about a persons personality and values and such. So he just happened to be a few years older.

As a now single older gal...I tend to stick with men my own age. It's mostly about life experience now. I want someone similar to myself where we have common view points and histories. It feels more comfortable this way. My younger self tended to find polarities more exciting and thrilling, where as now, that just makes me feel tired.

One final comment if I may? Whenever I read someone make a comment about girls being "slutty", I simply cringe. This could probably be its own thread actually. It feels like such an outdated and biased judgment to me. Why is it that a woman who enjoys sex gets such a nasty label...and what might a man with similar passion be labeled in that regard? Why can't people just enjoy physical intimacy without the judgment?

Maybe a gal my age can enjoy sexual freedom and be considered independent and sensual because she is somehow more free from the former title...or something. I don't know...just pondering it anyway.


blessings,

Pam

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by Lola

I can't speak for all of us, but this "older woman" is looking for a guy who:

Is honest. As in genuine and authentic.

Has his act together. Knows who he is and what he wants.

Isn't looking for a mother for himself or his (future or present) children. Been there, done that.

Is gainfully employed.

Knows how and when to have fun.

Is respectful and appreciative of me and doesn't skimp on the adoration .

Has opinions. And isn't threatened by mine.

And while physical attraction is certainly on the list, it's about more than a pretty face. I had good-looking and charming in my 20's and it turned out to be a mask for insecurity and abuse.

Like prophet said, age is just a number. And maturity happens for different people at different ages. I dated a 28 yr old guy last year (when I was 45) and he was WAY more mature than the 49 yr old I went with a couple of times last month.

There are younger women seeking men who possess these characteristics, too.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Just a note from a mid twenties woman...I didn't even have a sexual relationship (of any kind) until I was 25. We are not all "slutty" and immature. But I can see why you might think it based on some of the females out there. I guess what I am saying is, if you like older women, then by all means go for it. Just don't automatically apply your stereotypes of the younger ones to us all. You may be surprised at what some young women have to offer. (If they haven't been screwed over by the men their age - just kidding).

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

One final comment if I may? Whenever I read someone make a comment about girls being "slutty", I simply cringe. This could probably be its own thread actually. It feels like such an outdated and biased judgment to me. Why is it that a woman who enjoys sex gets such a nasty label...and what might a man with similar passion be labeled in that regard? Why can't people just enjoy physical intimacy without the judgment?

I enjoyed "The Ethical Slut" in part because it sought to redeem the term to being a description of someone who knows what they want and goes for it. The ethical part means doing it in such a way that others are less apt to get hurt. I would find such a person much more attractive than one who is afraid to act on her desires or doesn't even know what her desires are. Yeah, this could definitely be another thread.

[m0vingon]

Speaking as a mid-thirties woman, I can appreciate the fact that you are attracted to older women. There are probably more guys like you than you think, so I'd say it's not too crazy. I'm in school (again) and there are plenty of younger guys who are attracted to me. The problem is that lots of them are also intimidated and as such won't make a significant move. For me that's a deal breaker, I need someone who's secure enough to ask me out.

If you're looking for someone who's fairly grounded, independent, and knows what she wants, then 30+ is a good group for that. Furthermore, if she's divorced she'll likely be into dating for that sake of dating, it's not a race to get married. When I was younger, previous to being married, it was all about finding someone to marry. I certainly don't have that issue anymore! I see myself as the perfect date for a younger guy, I'm only available on weekends when my kids are gone, so no obsessive calling or neediness, no desire to get married or shack up, just looking for a nice guy to spend relaxing time with... oh yeah... and sex is nice too

[shesaboutspirit]

Originally Posted by openeyes

I enjoyed "The Ethical Slut" in part because it sought to redeem the term to being a description of someone who knows what they want and goes for it. The ethical part means doing it in such a way that others are less apt to get hurt. I would find such a person much more attractive than one who is afraid to act on her desires or doesn't even know what her desires are. Yeah, this could definitely be another thread.

Hmm. I keep trying, but no matter how I read this, it feels offensive. There is no way to use the word slut that isn't offensive and judgmental, in my opinion. We are all just people having experiences. I guess on that note, maybe I can just accept that some people like to view women that way...and let it go.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

Hmm. I keep trying, but no matter how I read this, it feels offensive. There is no way to use the word slut that isn't offensive and judgmental, in my opinion. We are all just people having experiences. I guess on that note, maybe I can just accept that some people like to view women that way...and let it go.

Another way to word it may be "redeeming the behaviors described as slutty". I don't personally use the term as it has too many negative connations, and feel that much of the behavior it describes (being aware of and enjoying one's sexuality) can be done ethically, as detailed in "The Ethical Slut", a sex-positive book written by women.

[shesaboutspirit]

aaahh. Thanks for clarifying that for me. I haven't heard of that book and wasn't sure where the term was coming from or who it was referring to.

I understand now.

Pam

[Jay Bee]

Hi

I see a double standard going on here, there is nothing wrong with older women speaking for myself of course LOL!!

How come Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones have a 25 year age gap and that is considered OK by society but when it comes to the reverse a younger man and an older woman then it is considered somewhat taboo and Neomaster even feels he has to post on here about his feelings for being attracted to older women?? Like there is something wrong with him......I don't see the Michael Douglas's of this world posting here??

Age is just a number right? You can have people in their 20's and 30's who are soo old and set in their ways and people in their 40's and 50's and beyond who are young at heart....go and watch a series from the UK called Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women and see that you youngsters weren't the ones who invented Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll LOL!!

Barb

[ZHereford]

As an older woman, compared to your 24 years anyway, I actually prefer younger men. I find them generally more fun and less set in their ways than men my age. I'm married, but if I weren't, I would definitely gravitate towards the younger fellows.

I think that rather than the age being the factor, it's the mindset and level of maturity.

So I guess to answer your question - I think it's cool that you like older women!

[Lallymac]

I'm 49 and at 43 I had a 4 year relationship with a man 15 years younger than me. At the time my older three children were in their mid to late teens and my youngest daughter was 6. I have a raft of friends of all ages so when he joined in as a friend no-one flinched. It was a surprise to me when our friendship developed into a relationship because I'd been married to and in a long term relationship with two men older than me before I met him.
I hadn't even considered younger men as an option. He was a very attractive man and I was a mum with four kids so hadn't thought he was interested in me like that. He'd been engaged to a lady a bit younger than him before I met him.
I enjoyed his company because he was so curious about everything, had a quick mind and was disarmingly honest. We had a lot in common. We read the same books, liked the same movies, music, food, hobbies, beliefs, values etc.
Because we got on so well no-one flinched when our friendship developed further. His parents and mine got on together and are still friends. My kids really liked him.
It fell over when we both started to futurise. He wanted his own family and I was ready to move forward with my life again. It was a hard relationship to walk away from because a very tangible love had grown between us. In the end I loved him too much to ask him to compromise himself for me. We parted as friends and still stay in touch.
Lallymac

[Alex2007]

Very romantic story Lallymac. This is the problem with younger men. They start wanting a family and things like that.

Good that you manage to keep him as a friend....This is important...

Life has better surprises for you ahead. Keep your creative mind looking for them!!! At 49 you are still young and you have a whole life full of joy out there wating for you....


Alex

[Lallymac]

Thank for your lovely message Alex. I believe you are right.
That particular relationship bought an awesome gift with it.
Although it took awhile to get there, it's a wonderful feeling to love someone and set them free.
I'm sure we'll meet again in another life. You can't chain love or tie it down. You appreciate it so much more when it settles freely beside you.

Lallymac

[blueman70]

To each his own - some like older, some like younger. I prefer the younger

[Asmoday]

More than anything...I think who cares?

You like what you like, you want what you want.

So be it. No need to justify your wants and tastes.