Tough one

[packetninja]

I was recently traveling as usual for my job. I was staying at a marriott as I normally do and decided on a coffee for the evening. I ventured up to the concierge lounge and upon entering it was just me and a beautiful women. She greeted me and and i greeted her, and there was an instant attraction. I asked her where she was from and she said Columbia. We spent the next 15 minutes speaking of food, travel, and an entire range of topics. Another couple of travelers came in and I decided to end the conversation. I gave her my room number, and said that i would love to continue our conversation once she is done working.

To my amazement she rang my room, and asked if i would like to meet up. We met up and spent the rest of the night talking and laughing until 1:00 in the morning. I took her home and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and thanked her for an amazing time. I gave her my number (possible mistake see below), and we promised to talk to each other.

The next day i couldn't stop thinking of her. It was such a great time and a wonderful, insightful and honest conversation. I never talk to people especially women when traveling so this was entirely out of my comfort zone. But i was compelled to speak to her, and i am so happy i did. Obviously because of this post i cannot stop thinking of her, and i am extremely conflicted. I want to pursue something, what i don't exactly know.

Now for the "tough one" part. I am married and i have been for about a year and a half. I never had an issue with my marriage and never intended for this to happen, nor was i looking for it. I can't understand why i seem to not be able to let the chance encounter go in my head. I wasn't looking for this and didn't intend for it to happen. We live 5 states away from each other, so it's not like its right around the corner.

I just wonder if anyone has ever encountered this situation or might have some useful advice to assist me.

Thank you in advance!

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by packetninja

I just wonder if anyone has ever encountered this situation or might have some useful advice to assist me.

I would venture to say that it happens to most guys... society says that we should be monogamous... by the hormones claim otherwise...

You say, "I was recently traveling..." The operative word here is, "recently"... chances are that as time goes by... the intensity of those feelings will wane and finally be but a pleasant memory...

That is... unless you choose to actively pursue the relationship... and its consequences... the good... the bad... and probably the awful... it's your choice... your decision...

Good luck to you...

.

[packetninja]

Originally Posted by Shamou

That is... unless you choose to actively pursue the relationship... and its consequences... the good... the bad... and probably the awful... it's your choice... your decision...

Good luck to you...

.

Truer words have never been spoken. It's all about choices and the path we choose to take. I still cannot figure out what the big draw is for me. I think it was the conversation and the sincerity of it all. It was as if we were meant to meet at that specific time and place. I'm sure that has been said a thousand times.

I did e-mail her just a bit ago.. told her about my current relationship/situation and told her i would really like to be friends because mainly i felt a connection there. So the ball is in her court and everything is on the table. If nothing i know i enjoy talking to her so if thats all i can have i guess i have to be content with it. If she chooses otherwise than i have to accept that as well, but at least we would both know.

I thank you for taking the time to respond...i'm still not out of the woods obviously and insight of all kinds is still welcomed. I do have to go back to that area in 2-3 weeks..so of excited kind of dreading it lol.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by packetninja

I thank you for taking the time to respond...i'm still not out of the woods obviously and insight of all kinds is still welcomed. I do have to go back to that area in 2-3 weeks..so of excited kind of dreading it lol.

One final question that you should ask yourself is, "How much do I value my current relationship...???"

I don't think that you can have it both ways...

.

[Lychee]

It's easy to be attracted to someone instantly. What isn't easy is maintaining a loving and compassionate relationship with another. Keep your wife in mind. She is your wife and this woman is just a stranger you met in passing while you were traveling. All things in life are a test and reveal a part of our character.

[JHL]

I think you are confusing an acute case of infatuation with "connection".

I'm going to be completely honest with you in order to try sober you up: you're buying your own sales shpiel here. There is no "connection" - in spite of what your glands are telling you. What you are doing is completely innapropriate. You are married. Unfortunately, this means you can't flirt with beautiful strangers and have deep conversations with them in hotel rooms. How would you feel if your wife travelled on business trips and was doing this? I imagine you would not enjoy it very much. It may even feel like a betrayal of trust...

I wasn't looking for this and didn't intend for it to happen

Thats ok, we all do things that cause us to blush ferociously in hindsight. So I'll buy what you say. But right now you have the opportunity to cut contact with this woman and not pursue this dangerous flirtation any further.

Forgive my dim view of the male species, but a married man infatuated with a beautiful woman, is not in a position to be just friends with her.

If you're really serious about your marriage, you'll know what the right thing to do is. What you do next, will determine how much you really love your wife.