|04-02-2011, 05:08 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2010
Experiencing Heartbreak When You Know You Shouldn't
So recently I'm having a little bit of heartbreak. The only reason I'm taking it so well is because I know I shouldn't, the guy that I was 'with' per se and I just weren't getting along. We have two totally different lifestyles and also we cannot meet each others' needs. I knew this relationship was going nowhere and would never go anywhere but I'm still upset. Maybe its just me being possessive? I don't know.
Either way, has this ever happened to anyone? You experience what someone would call heartbreak even though you already knew the outcome was bleak and it would have to happen sometime? I'm really curious as to why I'd feel this way consciously knowing that it was never going to work out to begin with.
Perhaps I liked the idea of a fallback? A saftey net in a sense. That's not to say I didn't care about him, but I cannot clearly identify the root of these emotions.
Last edited by Cheese96; 04-02-2011 at 05:10 PM.
|04-02-2011, 05:22 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2011
I think it is a security issue, in an odd way you felt secure in the relationship even though it was unhealthy. I think we have all felt this, that's why we usually stay in bad relationships to begin with.
I've certainly felt this, when I knew it was over, like really over, but it felt as though my heart was breaking. It is like when you are a kid and you have a favorite toy, you know you have grown out of it, but still, you hold on.
It will pass though, then you pick up the pieces and start over again.
Do you know when you break a bone in your body? It's like that the first time it hurts like hell, but when it heals it becomes stronger and more resilient, if you break it again, it hurts a little less, still hurts like hell, just a tamer one . Until finally you find the right flow and don't break that bone anymore. However, if you coddle the hurt for two long it becomes weaker and easier to break again.
My round about way of saying I feel for you. Hope this helps in an odd way
|04-02-2011, 05:27 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Windsor Ontario Canada
I think that normal. You say your only 17 but I'm 49 and have not been in a relationship. I have only been on a few dates.
I think what is going on is that you are a where of unmet needs and you have all the excitement when you meet someone new that all those needs might be met finally and even though you know intellectually it was not a good match there is a disappointment because you don't know if or when they are going to get met.
Last edited by scotthegeek; 04-02-2011 at 05:29 PM.
|04-03-2011, 03:24 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2010
|04-03-2011, 07:12 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2010
I feel for you. I'm going through something very similar myself.
It started off amazing with this girl I was with. Now that the relationship has ended, I know rationally that she was definitely NOT long term relationship material. I got blinded by her good looks and charm and how I felt with her. Infatuated basically. But in the end, I found her to be EXTREMELY high maintenance (particularly emotionally), highly narcissistic and generally unstable relationship material.
This is my rational side. Another part of me wants her more than anything and is feeling a real sense of loss! I am grieving that the idealizations of what I thought the relationship could have been, that have been shattered. So its not so much that I am sad that I can not be in a relationship with her, more like I'm upset that it didn't turn out to be what I hoped and dreamed. This is loss.
I miss how I felt when I was with her, her personality, her looks, charm, sense of humor, the connection, company, excitement ect...... Its not unusual to be heartbroken to lose such things even if you rationally know the person is not for you. He made you feel good, yeah? And now you've lost that source of good feeling.
Luckily the fact that I know she is not right for me has made this all SO much easier. I'd be devastated instead of pissed off and feeling a bit lonely and deflated. I'm sure its the same for you?
Hopefully, the next one will give us both all the things we miss in these people as well as the fundamentals.
Last edited by Horizons; 04-03-2011 at 07:44 PM.
|04-03-2011, 07:33 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern California
Love isn't necessarily rational.
My ex husband and I had everything in common, compatible friends, et cetera. Yet I was over him before I even moved out.
On the other hand, it took me two years to get over my ex girlfriend.
Even though, rationally, we did not belong together. Absolutely nothing in common. Country mouse and city mouse. We shared nothing. Yet breaking up was like losing a limb.
|Thread||Thread Starter||Forum||Replies||Last Post|
|Getting over heartbreak||st33med||Emotional Mastery||6||06-28-2010 07:30 PM|
|Heartbreak||sushanth||General & Introductions||9||10-19-2009 06:14 AM|
|Heartbreak - same old, same old.||forynav||Social & Relationships||23||10-01-2008 07:47 AM|
|love is possible, even after heartbreak||ns123||Social & Relationships||2||09-28-2008 03:03 PM|
|LOA, heartbreak and divorce||cbreeze||Intention-Manifestation||5||07-17-2007 02:14 PM|
All times are GMT. The time now is 04:03 AM.