What the heck am I doing

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Alright so a while ago, a couple months maybe, I have this vivid dream of this girl I hadn't thought of in years as last time I saw her was in my sophomore high school math class. So in this dream we are running through this big wheat field which has these giant oak trees in it. We both hop over this old stone wall and are laughing about something then the dream ends. I woke up feeling like I just got dropped in a bucket of ice water. I go on the computer and find this girl on facebook and send her a friend request. I say hi and she doesn't say anything back. So I just kind of forget about it all and a few months later I notice she removed me from her friend list when I'm removing people I don't talk to.

So fast forward a few months and I am talking to my friend. He just had a similar experience, dreamt about this girl he hadn't thought of in a while, felt this strong pull to talk to her etc. It reminded me about what happened earlier. So I did something outside of my comfort zone. Way outside of my comfort zone.

I added her and told her that she had shown up in a dream. I tried to be kind of nonchalant in the message I sent her but I think it was evident that I was pretty nervous about being seen as creepy. Despite that it took me a lot of effort to work up the nerve to even send her that message. I thought, well what's the worst that could happen? I talked to a few people on another message board about it and most people said I was being super creepy and that I basically did a very bad thing. A few people said I did something courageous though and to not listen to the other people who would probably never have the guts to do something like this.

I don't know what to think. She accepted my friend request today but she didn't respond to the message. I didn't leave it open ended, I asked her how she was doing so she had a question to answer and it wasn't just me sending her a weird internet declaration.

I am kind of stressing out over this for some reason, but I am excited too. I don't know what to expect.

So in your opinion was this really creepy of me? Should I not have done this? Or was I being brave? Have you ever done something like this? Should I back off? What would you do if someone did this to you?

[Nickname37]

Hey, I personally wouldn't percieve a guy who told me about a dream he'd had involving me as creepy, though this would depend largely on the type of dream he described. Give your friend the space to message you when she's ready I think you did the right thing in being honest with her, and I'm sure she'll be intrigued as to what the dream could mean. x

[elucidate]

I probably would think it was very random...but not creepy, unless you said the dream depicted you two doing naughty, dirty stuff.

Different peoples ideas of what is creepy will vary I guess. many people used to think I was weird for telling my dreams, even though I found them really interesting, and still do.

You're right though, what's the worse that can happen? She de-friends you...so what?

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by Nickname37

Hey, I personally wouldn't percieve a guy who told me about a dream he'd had involving me as creepy, though this would depend largely on the type of dream he described. Give your friend the space to message you when she's ready I think you did the right thing in being honest with her, and I'm sure she'll be intrigued as to what the dream could mean. x

Thanks for the encouraging words and that is good advice, I will let her reply whenever she's ready.

Originally Posted by elucidate

I probably would think it was very random...but not creepy, unless you said the dream depicted you two doing naughty, dirty stuff.

Different peoples ideas of what is creepy will vary I guess. many people used to think I was weird for telling my dreams, even though I found them really interesting, and still do.

You're right though, what's the worse that can happen? She de-friends you...so what?

Well I conveniently left out the part in my dream where I felt in love with her in my message to her. I thought that might just be a textbook example of 'coming on too strong'.

[Summerbreeze]

Sounds like you keep your thoughts of that alive.

Maybe, you should use more trust and forgo doing things with the plain intention to gain her attention, as long as you keep a good intention you do nothing 'wrong'.

If she not interested, what's the matter?
If she won't reply to a good-intended message than she's the donkey.
If you want to use NLP, imagine herself making "IAH! IAH!" - sorry (but it would work)

As long as you hold negative beliefs, you circumstances will test you and you will prove your beliefs right about what you were thinking.

Where is now the problem, beside you feeling bad?

~sb

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

Thanks for the encouraging words and that is good advice, I will let her reply whenever she's ready.



Well I conveniently left out the part in my dream where I felt in love with her in my message to her. I thought that might just be a textbook example of 'coming on too strong'.

Yeah, wise decision. Someone PM'd me recently and told me something similar to this, after not seeing him for a whole year, and now he's on ignore!

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Yeah, wise decision. Someone PM'd me recently and told me something similar to this, after not seeing him for a whole year, and now he's on ignore!

Oh my. Must tread carefully!

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by Summerbreeze

Sounds like you keep your thoughts of that alive.

Maybe, you should use more trust and forgo doing things with the plain intention to gain her attention, as long as you keep a good intention you do nothing 'wrong'.

If she not interested, what's the matter?
If she won't reply to a good-intended message than she's the donkey.
If you want to use NLP, imagine herself making "IAH! IAH!" - sorry (but it would work)

As long as you hold negative beliefs, you circumstances will test you and you will prove your beliefs right about what you were thinking.

Where is now the problem, beside you feeling bad?

~sb

What is NLP? I forgot some of this personal development lingo in my long hiatus from the forums.

Thanks for reminding me how important negative beliefs are in this situation. Or rather, the absence of them.

[supertom]

You assumed his experience did you honestly feel a strong pull towards her or did you add her because thats what your friend wanted to do.

Just give it some time, she probably thinks its random and she doesn't really know how to reply. If she doesnt reply than you can leave it at that. I think what you did was brave you were honest and sincere, its better than to not know.

[Summerbreeze]

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

What is NLP?

Neuro-linguistic programming.

For example:
If you want to intrinsically believe something, because your mind said that's better or closer to truth, than you can use imagination or affirmations to change it on a emotional/belief level.

I recommend it when you don't have currently the time to redefine your mind, or are confronted with overwhelming stuff to make space for clear thoughts.

~sb

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by supertom

You assumed his experience did you honestly feel a strong pull towards her or did you add her because thats what your friend wanted to do.

Just give it some time, she probably thinks its random and she doesn't really know how to reply. If she doesnt reply than you can leave it at that. I think what you did was brave you were honest and sincere, its better than to not know.

No that's not at all why I did it! I was actually encouraging my friend to follow through on what happened to him but I realized I was doing that as an excuse to do the same thing myself since I was in the same situation.

[supertom]

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

What is NLP?

acronym for pseudo-personal development.

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by Summerbreeze

Neuro-linguistic programming.

For example:
If you want to intrinsically believe something, because your mind said that's better or closer to truth, than you can use imagination or affirmations to change it on a emotional/belief level.

I recommend it when you don't have currently the time to redefine your mind, or are confronted with overwhelming stuff to make space for clear thoughts.

~sb

Oh yeah, now I remember. Thanks

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by supertom

acronym for pseudo-personal development.

Well let's not turn this into a debate over the merits of NLP. Personally I've never tried it from that perspective.

[supertom]

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

Well let's not turn this into a debate over the merits of NLP. Personally I've never tried it from that perspective.

Joke

how are you feeling after reading the replies, do you feel better.

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by supertom

Joke

how are you feeling after reading the replies, do you feel better.

Yes, absolutely. Definitely going to stop going to that other forum for advice. Nothing but fear and uncertainty projected at you.

[AlmostGodess]

Maybe I am creepy, but I talk about my dreams a lot. Once I dreamed about a colleague of mine offering me the shoe that I have lost and I told him about this. Also, I tell people when I dream of them. I don't see anything anything creepy about this

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by AlmostGodess

Maybe I am creepy, but I talk about my dreams a lot. Once I dreamed about a colleague of mine offering me the shoe that I have lost and I told him about this. Also, I tell people when I dream of them. I don't see anything anything creepy about this

I wish more people were like that. I get the feeling that the world would make more sense. Not to mention my precognitive dreams might be useful for once. A precognitive dream doesn't do anyone much good if you can't tell the difference between the premonitions and the random just having a dream kind of dreams

[Sarah Sunshine]

Some people might think its creepy but at the end of the day she accepted your friend request so she can't think your that bad.....just be cool and don't stalk her and im sure she will come running back to you asking what happened in the dream!!!