Trying to wrap my brain around the idea of multiple partners

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

.... irony....

Sounds like you were each waiting for the other to fully choose, before you'd be willing to fully choose.

A Mexican Stand-Off.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Angela

Sounds like you were each waiting for the other to fully choose, before you'd be willing to fully choose.

A Mexican Stand-Off.

Yeah, that's why it's so ironic. I wanted something form her, she wanted something from me, and neither of us knew how to articulate it at that time.

But I'm glad things went the way they went. She's currently got herself a new man (that I highly suspect is going to end up marrying) and she's successful, has made lots of friends, etc. Her lifestyle now is a much better fit for her, I think, than the life she would've had *here* or with me if we were still doing the long distance thing.

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by votoshka

But James, what if you are madly in love with the woman? So in love that she sort of rocks your world to the point where you can't think straight?? I can't imagine too many guys in THAT situation wanting to have sex with other women.

I dunno... maybe that "madly in love" stage just doesn't last forever with anyone??! I've always wanted to be in a relationship like that, that just lasted forever haha... maybe I'm just a romantic at heart?

From what I've read and experienced, the "madly in love" drugs last 1-2 years and then fade and you're left with a milder experience after that. Still fun and sexy and loving, but not at the same intensity level.

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by James81

If you were a guy, you'd understand.

Honestly, I can tell you a "guy truth" (crunch a TM up against that ) here that perhaps guys don't tell women too much but....it doesn't matter how attractive a woman is or how great the sex is, there's always that desire for someone else and there's always that possibility that sex with the same person could get boring after a while.

I'll stop there and let that marinate for a little while.

This post rang true for my experience. There is a woman in my life that for her sake I wish I could be devoted to. I've been with different women and none of them compare to the connection or intimate relationship we have. Yet I still have a powerful desire to enjoy the company of other women as well. I believe there is a fundamental difference in the way men and women look at relationships for whatever reason, generally speaking of course.

[gingerbaker]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

From what I've read and experienced, the "madly in love" drugs last 1-2 years and then fade and you're left with a milder experience after that. Still fun and sexy and loving, but not at the same intensity level.

And thank goodness for that! Having been (hard) in the midst of love-drug-crazy, I can tell you, it can be very dangerous to one's sense of self-preservation. And by that I mean, your sense of your SELF, and not getting drawn into emotional decisions that...may not be the best in hindsight. :cough:

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by gingerbaker

And thank goodness for that! Having been (hard) in the midst of love-drug-crazy, I can tell you, it can be very dangerous to one's sense of self-preservation. And by that I mean, your sense of your SELF, and not getting drawn into emotional decisions that...may not be the best in hindsight. :cough:

As someone who got hit about a month ago, I can't help but think aw, crap, HOW long do I have to deal with this?? At least it's not boring though.

[gingerbaker]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

As someone who got hit about a month ago, I can't help but think aw, crap, HOW long do I have to deal with this?? At least it's not boring though.

LOL! Definitely not boring. Right now I am annoying infatuated with a married man. NO GOOD, self, NO GOOD. Oh, sexy salsa dancers, why? I need to find me a single one! Lucky for me I have a nifty safety net in my celibacy and by the time July rolls around I should stop being all twitterpated lol!

Enjoy your NRE while it's there, and I'm glad to see (via your other thread) that you're focusing on your relationship with your husband as well. Funny how a new person can make you fall in love all over again with the other, isn't it??