People seem cold inside to me.

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Ok, I'll talk to the general population here, and pretend you don't exist...because to me, you don't!

You keep saying that, and yet, keep talking to me.

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by GoingUnder

Come a litte closer and listen to yourself.

IMO there are very few people who genuinely care about others. Generally speaking, humans are self-centred. I think it's inherently natural.

I would like to play mind games with you because I love your username and think you're very attractive.

That's honesty and a somewhat shallow trait of mine.

How does that make you feel? (I'm also very playful and curious.)

You sound like me. That part of me gets me in trouble. I am scared of it somewhat.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by RedRain

You keep saying that, and yet, keep talking to me.

Well, you do keep talking back, which implies the desire for a response even if the words say otherwise.

[GoingUnder]

Originally Posted by RedRain

You sound like me. That part of me gets me in trouble. I am scared of it somewhat.

Good. So are you up for playing games with me or not? If we both know the score, then there is no trouble to be getting into. Are you game?

[GoingUnder]

Originally Posted by GoingUnder

Good. So are you up for playing games with me or not? If we both know the score, then there is no trouble to be getting into. Are you game?

Or... is it that not knowing the score makes the game far more enjoyable?

(Talking to myself aswell.)

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by GoingUnder

Or... is it that not knowing the score makes the game far more enjoyable?

(Talking to myself aswell.)

Are you sure you like games? They always seem to end with a loser.

[GoingUnder]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Are you sure you like games? They always seem to end with a loser.

Or stalemate....

Try me. If you wish.

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by GoingUnder

Or stalemate....

Try me. If you wish.

Hmmm. I don't feel like losing.

[GoingUnder]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Hmmm. I don't feel like losing.

I like your energy. I know it. Let's play.

See you at the field.

[Angela]

RedRain, it looks to me like you and I don't hold the same standards for courtesy in conversation, and I suspect that a similar realization, whether conscious or unconscious, may be what has the people in your life occurring as cold (disdainful, uncaring, unfriendly) to you.

I wish you happy trails (or whatever kind of trails you want to create for yourself).

[GoingUnder]

Originally Posted by Angela

RedRain, it looks to me like you and I don't hold the same standards for courtesy in conversation(or whatever kind of trails you want to create for yourself).

Angela - do you reckon us humans have "trails" or whatever that make sense to us. And maybe not others. And it's all OK.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by GoingUnder

Angela - do you reckon us humans have "trails" or whatever that make sense to us. And maybe not others. And it's all OK.

I do reckon that, yes. Everyone's got their trail, and it's perfectly perfect. And that doesn't mean I'll be inviting someone on a stinky trail over to my place for supper.

edit: It just occurred to me that maybe you think I don't think it's all ok because I said "... or whatever kind of trails you want to create for yourself." I added that because I realized after saying "Happy trails," that it's possible that Happy isn't the kind of trail he wants at all, and it's presumptuous of me to wish someone something they may not want. I want to travel on trails that are happy, among other good-feeling trails, and I realize I've walked down some stinky ones myself. It's just inconsistent with who I am now, so some people might look up and say, "Hey, how come Angela's not walking this trail with me? She was right here a minute ago! Why don't she call, why don't she write?" and if they see this, maybe they'll get some insight about where I took myself off to.

[GoingUnder]

I like trails and snails.
I like blue and you.
I like shirts and skirts
I'm going home now.

[RedRain]

Angela, what exactly do you want from me?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Angela, what exactly do you want from me?

I can't think of a single thing. Is there something you'd like from me?

[Mounds]

So this is about the most depressing thread I've ever chosen to get involved in. There's a feeling of helplessness here. To top it off, I get the feeling that you are intentionally throwing yourself under the bus. I've read that doing such things is a sign of social anxiety. Any resonation with that?

I'm not really going to say much more than that. It seems like anything anyone has said thus far has resulted in polarization so I think you'll have to find the answers in your own good time. If you want to bounce ideas, I'm game. Otherwise, good luck to you!

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by Angela

I can't think of a single thing. Is there something you'd like from me?

Sure. Stop posting in this thread.

I ignore your posts simply because I don't find them useful.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Sure. Stop posting in this thread.

I ignore your posts simply because I don't find them useful.

Do you genuinely wonder why people treat you coldly? You asked for responses; Angela gave you one that was honest, but warm, and to my eyes useful, and you ignored her completely and then told her to go away. That's pretty cold!

Is the way you respond to people in this forum at all similar to how you respond to people off-screen, or do you feel you are quite different 'in real life'?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Sure. Stop posting in this thread.

I ignore your posts simply because I don't find them useful.

Nothing you ask of me could be more gladly granted. Goodbye, RedRain.

[James81]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Well, you do keep talking back, which implies the desire for a response even if the words say otherwise.

Shhhh...he's running game on her. Let him work.

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Do you genuinely wonder why people treat you coldly? You asked for responses; Angela gave you one that was honest, but warm, and to my eyes useful, and you ignored her completely and then told her to go away. That's pretty cold!

Is the way you respond to people in this forum at all similar to how you respond to people off-screen, or do you feel you are quite different 'in real life'?

Well, I didn't find her first posts useful or that warm, so I ignored them instead of saying that I didn't like them.

Then she starts saying I am not courteous and that the trail I am on is 'stinky'(well, that was just implied.)

I am not going to be fake and pretend I find a post useful when I don't. That is definitely not who I am, and then if someone is insulted just because I don't respond to them and they start criticizing my life in general, I think I have every right to ask them not post in the thread I created.

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by James81

Shhhh...he's running game on her. Let him work.

Oh, no. I learned my lesson. I am not doing that. I will never do that.

[st33med]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Well, I didn't find her first posts useful or that warm, so I ignored them instead of saying that I didn't like them.

Then she starts saying I am not courteous and that the trail I am on is 'stinky'(well, that was just implied.)

Rest assured, she never implied that you're path was stinky. I can also see her very bright warmth. I'm not saying you are wrong, or that you are bad or anything negative. I'm wanting to point out to you how you see people may reflect how you really are being. Judging people as cold and inwards maybe more of a judgement of yourself. Which is fine if you don't want to see this.

With all love,
Andrew.

[James81]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Oh, no. I learned my lesson. I am not doing that. I will never do that.

Why not?

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by James81

Why not?

Just leave it.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Well, I didn't find her first posts useful or that warm, so I ignored them instead of saying that I didn't like them.

Then she starts saying I am not courteous and that the trail I am on is 'stinky'(well, that was just implied.)

I am not going to be fake and pretend I find a post useful when I don't. That is definitely not who I am, and then if someone is insulted just because I don't respond to them and they start criticizing my life in general, I think I have every right to ask them not post in the thread I created.

Is there a particular reason you didn't like her posts? I mean, they weren't trolling or anything; she was genuinely trying to help you.

Nobody asks you to be dishonest, but asking for help, and then ignoring people who reach out to you is definitely a quick way to get them feeling like you don't value them. And isn't that something you said bothers you? That not many people seem to genuinely care about others? A lot of your responses (and non-responses) in the thread seem to implicitly carry the message 'I don't care about you.'

[James81]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Just leave it.

[RedRain]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Is there a particular reason you didn't like her posts? I mean, they weren't trolling or anything; she was genuinely trying to help you.

Nobody asks you to be dishonest, but asking for help, and then ignoring people who reach out to you is definitely a quick way to get them feeling like you don't value them. And isn't that something you said bothers you? That not many people seem to genuinely care about others? A lot of your responses (and non-responses) in the thread seem to implicitly carry the message 'I don't care about you.'

Genuinely caring about someone is very, very complicated. Sometimes cutting someone off is exactly what they need. I am not saying I am always in a genuinely caring mood. I am just saying it is not often what is on the surface that shows love.

Deep love is coming to someone where they are, not saying to them, 'You are in the wrong place, come over here.'

I am nowhere near feeling real love for everyone, but I think I am better off than some because I know what love is not.

[st33med]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Genuinely caring about someone is very, very complicated.

When did you decide that?

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by RedRain

Genuinely caring about someone is very, very complicated. Sometimes cutting someone off is exactly what they need. I am not saying I am always in a genuinely caring mood. I am just saying it is not often what is on the surface that shows love.

Deep love is coming to someone where they are, not saying to them, 'You are in the wrong place, come over here.'

I am nowhere near feeling real love for everyone, but I think I am better off than some because I know what love is not.

Hey, i don't think there's anyone who is real good at feeling real love for everyone all of the time... welcome to humanity.

I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of reading back through some of your posts, and something that came across (though admittedly I was just skimming) was that you seem to push people away when you don't feel safe (you used that term once 'This environment doesn't feel safe'). You jump out, or throw up roadblocks (there are a few in this thread, too).

I'm not sure I understand when you say 'Sometimes cutting people off is exactly what they need.' Could you explain that?

I mean... for me, it is difficult to know what other people really need at the best of times. If I'm genuinely trying to work out what someone else needs, I find listening and asking is really all I can do. (Coming to where they are, as you put it.) If I'm doing any 'cutting off', it would be a last resort, because I think that being ignored and abandoned is actually one of the worst things that can happen to a person. If I find myself doing any 'cutting off', it's usually because it's what *I* need, not what they need.