What Could Cause Ex's 180 degree Change?

[SeaRod]

Just couple of thoughts

I'm also confused. On one hand some people have suggested I take responsibility as the cause of this. On the other, that it is not about me, it's about her. Both make sense in certain ways, which doesn't provide clarity.

On one hand, you cannot control her emotional baggage (not your responsibility)

On the other hand, you can become more aware of your emotional baggage and learn from the relationship (your responsibility). Read Angela's replies-- very insightful

"On the laughing part"
In one perspective, it is funny because people are just walking around like zombies acting on their programming

In another perspective, it hurts because you thought this person was *different*-- she would be the LAST person to do this to you

In another perspective, it is sad because this person is not even Aware of what they are doing. Then just run on auto-pilot the program called "Coping"

In another perspective, it is liberating because now there's time for some reflection and getting to know yourself more-- less emotional baggage for the future.

In the end, accept, forgive, be grateful.

You got our support

[Moon Child]

^ I like this post. Especially the point about the whole she would be the -last- person on earth to do this to you. As I am also in the OP's shoes.

My last girl she reassured me everyday about how amazing i was, and how we were gonna be together forever, etc etc. But out of nowhere, even though things were amazing, she just up and gone and left me clueless and scrambling for answers.

I retraced and thought hard about maybe if it was something i did, or said and replayed everything through my head hundreds of times. Nothing comes to mind. But in all honesty and i do not feel as if i am being delusional or emotional when i say this. I concluded that i was a fair and good boyfriend to her. I was not a ******* nor the nice guy, i was a good solid boyfriend that cared, challenged, and loved her.

What I have come to realize from this relationship is that, dating her was not a mistake, but rather a lesson. Learned not to be so naive about things. People hurt each other, its just part of life. You take it for what it is, and you learn and then you move on.

[SeaRod]

Originally Posted by Moon Child

I concluded that i was a fair and good boyfriend to her. I was not a ******* nor the nice guy, i was a good solid boyfriend that cared, challenged, and loved her.

That's awesome; Knowing you were solid and real. That must have given you alot of comfort and peace during the "sad" times.

And at the end of the day, think about this: Why on earth would one want to be with someone that does not desire to be with you???

Only when the desire is mutual can Love abound

[Moon Child]

Well that's the thing searod. For months this girl talked about how much she loved me, and this was going to last forever. Almost to the point where it annoyed me. And she wanted nothing more than for me to return her feelings. Which I did, but definitely not in the way she was going about it. When I do, she would get extatic. In no way did I ever feel like she did not desire me, more like I was air to her and without me she would die. And with that over time I let my walls fall and gave in to her because she really did convince me that "this was it". And just because of that, I guess that's why when she left it hurted this much.