Inernet dating good or bad: discuss.

[TeeZee]

I have flirted with internet dating over the years and am not really sure it's worth the effort, I find myself sending lots of messages to receive only a few replies. The messages I send aren't boring and make references to the woman's profile and I try to balance flirtiness with sincerity. There are some guys on the web selling these 'courses' in internet dating which teach you to tease (bordering on insult) relentlessly, and cut and paste the same replies over and over again. Seems pretty lame to me.

Just wondering what people's opinions are and if anyone has found a 'way' of being successful on these sites.

Cheers,
T

[Scott]

Don't get discouraged. You have to remember that on most dating sites, men far outnumber women, and women (especially the very attractive ones) probably get messages from men every single day - not to mention being frequently hit on in their everyday lives. With that said, no matter how clever and smooth your messages are, and no matter how great of a guy you are, you're probably not going to get a huge rate of response.

Regarding those dating "courses" - ignore them, especially if they're charging you money. For one thing, you've got to have a certain type of personality to even benefit from them. If you do have that "pick-up artist" personality and that's your thing, then I'd recommend searching the Internet for the exact same information at a low cost of... free.

How exactly do you define "success"? Meeting someone for a date? Finding true love? Having sex? Personally, I've met a few people from online, but ironically, none of them through a dating site. I think the extent of your success will be based largely on how you come across, what type of person you're looking for, and what type of encounter you're looking for. Then, choose a service that matches your preferences. I'm a fan of OKCupid, because it's creative, accurate, and free.

Let us know how you're doing!

[Dan.Linehan]

I've had good luck with yahoo personals. I've had three long term relationships with guys I've met online: nine months, five and a half years, and six months.

As far as strategy, I always just work hard on my own profile and let people message me.

[earlybird]

I would suggest you take up a hobby instead, or something. Do you like dancing? If you're a good socialiser, going to dancing classes in the evening is one of the best ways to initiate dating etc. If you're not a good socialiser, dancing will get you better at it and you may find you'll be more successful in internet dating after this. I say this because I used to go dancing, to dance, but found it was a very flirtatious environment, more than you'd expect!

[Brien]

I have had mild success with okcupid with very little effort. I wrote my profile, answered some questions and just sat back and let people message me.

The reason I "just sat back" and waited for women to come to me is not that I'm an arrogant jerk, it's that like Scott said, there are too many men. I agree with
this guy's (youtube video) view on online dating. Let women come to you, or be ignored. Either way it's better than being insulted by women that are so sick and tired of being hit on by jerks that they can't recognize a nice guy when they see one.

[openeyes]

This has been discussed elsewhere:

Online Dating

From my experience and observations, if you are a young heterosexual male, online dating is a waste of your time and you'd be much better off taking up an interesting hobby/joining a local club that enables you to meet like minded people, preferably one with better gender odds. Make sure it's something you'll enjoy. For dating men though (whether as women or gay/bi men), online dating often seems optimal, though I'd still recommend simply going out, having fun, and seeing who you meet in the process.