This totally sums up my dating experience...

[Curtis2011]

It's so painful because it's soooo true :/

[mikej]

Lol.

[Sarah Wilson]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

It's so painful because it's soooo true :/

Hmmm...so are you saying all your life you were dating psychopaths?

tsk tsk

[scotthegeek]

I know your joking to some degree but I know how it is. I have repress myself sexually and the two real dates the last year was one girl all she wanted was sex, rip my close off and know matter how slow I wanted it to go it would end with her ripping my close off. the other girl we made out and it was wonderful but she want to go slow but I guess kissing was to much for her to handle she stop seeing me without saying a word. I need to find a girl in the middle but I don't know if I want to put myself though this again.

Scott

[Indiana]

I also assume you're joking to some degree but seriously, if every girl you've dated has been nuts, have you considered the possibility that you are what girls refer to as 'a crazy-maker'? A guy who blows hot and cold, is emotionally repressed or out of touch, wants a girlfriend but has 'commitmentphobia', is unnecessarily picky or argumentative, etc?

I had one ex-boyfriend (who's still a friend) who always, ALWAYS has crazy girlfriends. One time I had to sit him down and explain to him that it's because HE DRIVES THEM INSANE. (Okay, he also sort of has a thing for wounded birds, because he has a hero complex – also worth considering about yourself – but some of the girlfriends were quite normal till he drove them nuts). I know this personally, because I went through it, and I've seen him repeat the same pattern over and over. And he really can't see it. He thinks he's the nicest, most caring and stable person in the world (and part of the problem is that he can't say no to women), not someone whose emotional angst and romanticism about relationships ('I love you, but I'm just not sure if you're my soulmate... yet') is a complete head-♥♥♥♥♥. I know a couple of other guys like this as well. (And yes, certain women can be this way too, before anyone accuses me of discrimination.)

Just sayin'... the crazy isn't the only common factor to all your relationships.

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

It's so painful because it's soooo true :/

LMAO, I used to say that all the guys who had asked me on a date had told me they wanted to take over the world or something of that nature. Can't say that anymore.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Just sayin'... the crazy isn't the only common factor to all your relationships.

This. Exactly, this.

[secrets0stolen]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

LMAO, I used to say that all the guys who had asked me on a date had told me they wanted to take over the world or something of that nature. Can't say that anymore.

LOL, I had a boyfriend who after we broke up (not a tough break up) said "When I'm ruler of the world, I'll put in a good word for you."

[rei]

Originally Posted by ssandra

This. Exactly, this.

Hey now.

Ladies, if I remember correctly Curtis has dated seriously about two girls.

So there's also a chance that he just so happened to end up with girls who got jealous, insecure, clingy, high-maintenance (whatever that means), "what's-wrong?"-"oh, nothing"-as-she-pouts, or whatever came to his mind that was summed up by the casual and non-clinical meaning of psychopath.

Btw, Curtis, I think it's kinda cool that you have not had a string of relationships. Shows you have standards and makes you seem more "high value" - at least that's how I choose to view it

Now, Curtis, if you find that every woman you relate with in a serious way is crazy and that holds true when you've dated, like, five or ten women, then yeah there may be something to the whole you-as-common-denominator thing. I'm not sure it holds as much weight with the present sample size though.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by rei

Hey now.

Ladies, if I remember correctly Curtis has dated seriously about two girls.

So there's also a chance that he just so happened to end up with girls who got jealous, insecure, clingy, high-maintenance (whatever that means), "what's-wrong?"-"oh, nothing"-as-she-pouts, or whatever came to his mind that was summed up by the casual and non-clinical meaning of psychopath.

Even with 2 women, there might be something for him to examine why he attracted them crazy...

Not saying of course that there is something wrong with Curtis. It is just always a very good thing to really look in yourself instead of someone else...

[votoshka]

I'm also sure at some point that Curtis said he likes women who are bubbly, flaky and extroverted (at least something like that )... and errm... I think when you pick girls like that, you're bound to get many who are pretty high maintenance and maybe even kinda "crazy" especially if that's not your personality??

[rei]

@Sandra: I'd agree that looking at our own choices and patterns and perceptions is a good general policy to have. I'm not saying it isn't a good general policy. I'm just thinking about the context and the logic of it and wanted to bring up that detail because it seems salient to me.

Originally Posted by votoshka

I'm also sure at some point that Curtis said he likes women who are bubbly, flaky and extroverted (at least something like that )... and errm... I think when you pick girls like that, you're bound to get many who are pretty high maintenance and maybe even kinda "crazy" especially if that's not your personality??

Yes yes yes!!

Very talkative means more likely to just put her temporary concerns out there without thinking through the way to go about it to minimize friction. And to make a gross (as in huge) generalization, I've noticed more inward reflection and conscious thinking-through tendencies in introverts... Most of the people I've met who just put it out there without reflecting and without examining their perspective on a situation are extroverts. More vocal with things too, so logically that means more vocal with the little insecurities that most people experience, and more vocal with that human desire for reassurance.

Curtis, I kinda wonder if you're not really an extrovert who has simply for whatever reason taken on an introvert shell. I wonder if that might be one reason you enjoy the getting-out-in-the-worldness that happens with an extroverted woman.

[Angelique]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

[IMG]
It's so painful because it's soooo true :/

Sorry to hear that, Curtis. I hope you find a good match soon.

[Curtis2011]

Lol you guys. This thread was posted to make you laugh, but at the same time it is also very true for me. As Rei mentioned, I have only had sex with two girls, and one of those was just a friends with benefits; the other was a relationship that went on and off for about 2ish years.

Originally Posted by rei

Hey now.

Ladies, if I remember correctly Curtis has dated seriously about two girls.

So there's also a chance that he just so happened to end up with girls who got jealous, insecure, clingy, high-maintenance (whatever that means), "what's-wrong?"-"oh, nothing"-as-she-pouts, or whatever came to his mind that was summed up by the casual and non-clinical meaning of psychopath.

Yeah this is mostly it. My last and only long-term girlfriend was about as crazy as they come. I'm not badmouthing her but eventually I discovered she had a lot of bad habits, even many that developed during our on-and-off relationship.

Originally Posted by ssandra

Even with 2 women, there might be something for him to examine why he attracted them crazy...

Not saying of course that there is something wrong with Curtis. It is just always a very good thing to really look in yourself instead of someone else...

Of course there's nothing wrong with me!

Originally Posted by votoshka

I'm also sure at some point that Curtis said he likes women who are bubbly, flaky and extroverted (at least something like that )... and errm... I think when you pick girls like that, you're bound to get many who are pretty high maintenance and maybe even kinda "crazy" especially if that's not your personality??

Bubbly and extroverted, yes. Not sure what you mean by "flaky" but a definite no to that.

Originally Posted by rei

Very talkative means more likely to just put her temporary concerns out there without thinking through the way to go about it to minimize friction. And to make a gross (as in huge) generalization, I've noticed more inward reflection and conscious thinking-through tendencies in introverts... Most of the people I've met who just put it out there without reflecting and without examining their perspective on a situation are extroverts. More vocal with things too, so logically that means more vocal with the little insecurities that most people experience, and more vocal with that human desire for reassurance.

Curtis, I kinda wonder if you're not really an extrovert who has simply for whatever reason taken on an introvert shell. I wonder if that might be one reason you enjoy the getting-out-in-the-worldness that happens with an extroverted woman.

No, I am very introverted. Although over the past few years I have grown a lot in self-confidence and now I can be extroverted for awhile if I want to. Despite my introversion I also strangely enjoy explaining things to people or groups of people, perhaps because it makes me feel valued when people consider my ideas.

I know that introverts are self-reflective as you said, but I've realized that I am just not as attracted to introverts as I am to extroverts.



One big realization I had was when I discovered the Myers Briggs personality system. I never thought much of it until I realized that its advice for ideal relationship candidates seemed to be spot-on with my personal experience.

In the Myers Briggs system, I have noticed that I can be very flirty and naturally attracted/attractive to the same exact type of girls that it says are my ideal type, which coincidentally are all extroverts.

In high school, I had two somewhat brief relationships with introverted girls. And I know in high school nobody has a damn clue what they really want in a relationship, but looking back on those relationships I have to say that there was genuinely no natural spark between me and either of those girls. The only "spark" or natural attraction in one of them was because I was a bit older than her, so she had the hots for me because I was a "senior guy omg hotzzz" or something like that.

I think my biggest challenge is finding a girl that I click with that isn't crazy, on drugs, or a whore :/

Originally Posted by rei

I wonder if that might be one reason you enjoy the getting-out-in-the-worldness that happens with an extroverted woman.

I definitely appreciate that extroverted girls are strong in areas where I am weak. I find the very thought of someone being naturally outgoing as impressive and a pretty attractive quality in a girl.

I can still remember one time when I drove my last girlfriend to a DSW shoe store to apply for a job. She went in, chatted up the (female) manager for about 30 minutes, and came out and said "they hired me!" In my mind I was like... "holy crap" because that just such great evidence of how personable she really was.

Of course, her being crazy and all, she quit the job two weeks later with no notice... lol.

[spacecadetglow]

Sorry but don't most people become crazy when they get into relationships that weren't meant to be? LOL...

Actually, this past little fling I had was the only one I can remember in which one or both parties did not become crazy. It was very enlightened and conscious and such.

I thought the graphic was funny. :P