Girlfriend=Brutal Emotions

[Iamsuperman]

There's this girl who I really like, she would make a perfect girlfriend for me, and she's shown on many occasions that she would be willing to enter into a relationship with me. I would gladly pursue our relationship together, but I keep having this absolutely brutal emotion every time I'm around her. It's like I become instantly depressed. I am incapable of feeling a positive emotion. I would be feeling great usually very happy before I talk to her, but after about 10 seconds of chatting it hits me like a sack of bricks and it's difficult to keep a conversation going when I'm experiencing this emotion. This emotion usually doesn't shake off until about 1 hour after talking, many times it takes much longer.

What is this? What's going on? How do I fix it?

I've been trying to figure this out for months, yet cannot find no logical or purpose behind it. It's totally baffled me, and I'm anxious to get this relationship started.

Thanks for the help, you guys are life savers

[zpivat]

Wow that's rare indeed (at least for me....)
Towards a girl I like, I would probably be feeling depressingly/positively happy, not negatively the way you do.....

The only reason I can think of is this: perhaps you like her SO much, but deep down inside your heart you're not sure you can ever be together with her, and it hurts you so much and hence you feel that "brutal emotion"?

[bellbird]

Hi Superman, can you tell us why you think she would be your perfect girlfriend? (Especially because you become instantly depressed around her)
This a very interesting phenomenon you have. Without reading too much into it I would say it will be a good idea to ask Erin's input on it...

[jojo]

Iamsuperman I agree with Bellbird; I would recommend asking Erin or posting in the 'Psychic & Paranormal' forum as well.

I dated someone last year who I was madly in love with, but caused a massive disturbance in my very core. Everytime I was with this person I would leave feeling sick and completely drained. It would take me a couple of days to pick up again. This went on for almost a year...it was a really crazy rollercoaster ride because although I loved this person (this was a surreal feeling in itself because it seemed to come from somewhere within me that I wasn't conscious of) I also KNEW I could not be with them.

I eventually realised this person was in my life for a reason, I took those lessons to heart and now that person is no longer a major part of my life and I am completely balanced (no more draining).

Good luck. I really think you should listen to your intuition...a feeling that strong is definitately saying something to you...you just need to work out what it is!

Many smiles!

[JHL]

Originally Posted by Iamsuperman

I would gladly pursue our relationship together, but I keep having this absolutely brutal emotion every time I'm around her. It's like I become instantly depressed.

What is this? What's going on? How do I fix it?

Hey there superman, sounds strange indeed. I'm tempted to respond that perhaps its the kryptonite jewelery she wears, but of course it isnt.

The truth is its not as strange as it appears. Attraction between people, particularly that strong 'chemical' attraction we feel is based on sound psychological priniciples. We feel very strongly attracted to certain people because they mirror something for us.

Interestingly, the 'amazing' qualities that profoundly attract you to a someone, actually represent the same amazing qualities in yourself, that are currently underdeveloped and that the person mirrors for you.

In this way you can see how brilliant nature is - it causes you to become strongly attracted to the very people who hold the highest healing potential for you.

Now getting to your feeling of depression or sadness - my answer to you is that this girl is mirroring something for you. You job is to delve into your feelings and try to work out where this sadness comes from. I'm not in a position to 'suggest' what it might be, I think thats something only you can work out. All I am suggesting is that she is mirroring something for you, but what? Spend some time in introspection, what could the origins of this feeling be?

[Iamsuperman]

Originally Posted by bellbird

Hi Superman, can you tell us why you think she would be your perfect girlfriend?

Physically and mentally she is everything I've been looking for.

Originally Posted by jojo

I dated someone last year who I was madly in love with, but caused a massive disturbance in my very core. Everytime I was with this person I would leave feeling sick and completely drained. It would take me a couple of days to pick up again. This went on for almost a year...it was a really crazy rollercoaster ride because although I loved this person (this was a surreal feeling in itself because it seemed to come from somewhere within me that I wasn't conscious of) I also KNEW I could not be with them.

I eventually realised this person was in my life for a reason, I took those lessons to heart and now that person is no longer a major part of my life and I am completely balanced (no more draining).

Was the reason you had the disturbance because you loved him and you knew you couldn't be with him, or just because you loved him deeply? Do think i will be able to have a relationship with her? I'm trying think if knowing i can't be with her might have something to do with it, i'll get back to you.

Originally Posted by JHL

Hey there superman, sounds strange indeed. I'm tempted to respond that perhaps its the kryptonite jewelery she wears, but of course it isnt.

Hey, well now that i think about it she was wearing some pretty funny looking jewelery...lol

Originally Posted by JHL

Spend some time in introspection, what could the origins of this feeling be?

Been trying (journaling about it) for around a month now with no progress.

You really think i should ask Erin? Do i post the thread into Psychic or Paranormal or Erins blog?

Thanks again everyone, if i tried to talk this over with my friends...well you probably have an idea as to what high school guys would do .

[Dating Specialist]

Hey Superman

Were there some other times when you felt something similar? Maybe we can establish and detect a pattern in your life and work from there?

Originally Posted by Iamsuperman

Thanks again everyone, if i tried to talk this over with my friends...well you probably have an idea as to what high school guys would do .

So you're in high school now is it? Is she one of those "hot properties" which lots of guys are going after? Is there any chance you might be afraid of losing her and can't believe your good fortune of having found the perfect dream girl as your gf?

Just some thoughts. Hope those questions help to evoke something internally.

Cheers

[siamesesilk]

Hi Superman,

I'm sorry you're feel frustrated right now with these feelings. Take these feelings as a lesson for you to learn, whatever that lesson may mean to YOU at this moment. Do some deep soul searching with it. Let it unfold for you. If you really want to love her, do so with loving feeling and not fear (fear of losing her). Get to know her as well as yourself better and work through the fear. It may be nervous feelings of a true love. Those are the worst feelings in the pit of your stomach the ones you have of self doubt. Work on yourself. Go to the gym. Start to do things that only you like to do. Listen to music you love. It may take a little while to discover these things, but once you do, this relationship may take off faster than you can comprehend.

I have been going through a strange yet exciting spiritual process with an old friend from long ago. We had an initmate relationship several years ago. I had initially posted about it in this thread called, "I've been seeing 444 and 11:11 everywhere...." also in the Spirituality,Consciousness and Awareness thread with no replies.

I redirected the post to Erin Pavlin's thread in this forum and got an answer that helped me I also replied to the post:

Any Thoughts Would Be Most Helpful...

I wish you the best.

[richie]

hey man i have gone through the same phaze and i dont even talk to that girl now,but i have sorted this stuff a bit,the reason i felt depressed was my big ego, like i consider myself too high and the reason i used to get depress in front of her is because i was unable to show her my value and was not able to impress her and she had an attitude that really was like punching my ego,so i decided we are like the same nature who constantly bang ,not verbally but emotionally. It was a really a very uncomfortable situation

[Keith]

You might find this podcast of Steve's helpful to find the cause:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...our-intuition/

[MindReality]

You feel depressed because of an unconscious feeling which is "I am not good enough for her."

It is a self esteem issue.

Like you said, you feel Very Happy at first when you are with her, and that she is Perfect.

And then you feel very depressed.

The problem is not with her, but it is with you.

You need to deal with your feeling of inferiority and lack of self esteem.

Read this article and it will change your life!
Self Acceptance - Freedom for Fearless Expression

I know because that is how I felt before.

[Iamsuperman]

I'd never thought it was because i was afraid of losing her, simply because it seems upsurd to me, it would be on a very unconsious level that i'm not aware of. But now that i consider it, it seems very logical.

I think now that i have finally found the underlying problem I'll be able to find an answer for it.

Keeping this in mind, I'll be seeing her agin today, I'll let you know how it turns out

Thanks to everyone

[siamesesilk]

I'd never thought it was because i was afraid of losing her, simply because it seems upsurd to me, it would be on a very unconsious level that i'm not aware of. But now that i consider it, it seems very logical.

I think now that i have finally found the underlying problem I'll be able to find an answer for it.

Keeping this in mind, I'll be seeing her agin today, I'll let you know how it turns out

Thanks to everyone

Have fun Superman!

[Iamsuperman]

Simply put, I'll just say everythings back on track.

[Iamsuperman]

I kind of concluded preemptively.

I've found that the real answer to why i was being knocked into this emotional state was because i listened to music that either intended for me to go into this state when things got intimate, or because i got intimacy and that emotion "linked" while listening. I'm unsure which one it was.

I may have been affected greater by the music (Bob Dylan by the way) than the average person, although i listened for about 3 hours a day while doing other things but i really connected to the music.

I've noticed a pattern about how easily i am influenced by other people's emotions and their habits. This may not be the thread to ask (i'm new to the structure of forums) but does anyone have any advice on how to be influenced less by others? Other than choosing who your influenced by carefully.

Anyways, my search for uplifting music has begun!

[bellbird]

Good on you for finding your answers You're right, music can influence you more sometimes then you realise, same goes for people
I have found over time I needed to protect myself from 'atmospheres' as they had too much an impact on me. You could say I was too sensitive. I learned how to 'wrap myself up' more. Moving to a country that has its people spread out is also very helpful apposed to living in one that has one of the highest density of population in the world .
There are visualisations you could do and I have done courses (Colour Therapy was one of them) that I have found very helpful. Of course I don't know if this is for you as you might find another take on it more appealing. See what's best for you, I'm a bit 'alternativily' esoterically orientated but am no floaty floaty type . I suggested to ask Erin, because she will know about the 'being sensitive to others and picking up their vibes' thing which can be overbearing on yourself. Naturally the 'mirroring' input is very interesting as well. All the best to you!

[Iamsuperman]

Hey thanks bellbird,

What emotions of other people can you use Color Therapy for? Do know of any techniques for not mimicking other people's behaviours?

I know i may be getting off topic for this thread, if you know of any that deal with this (i tried a quick search) gimme a ding!