Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

nube · 11-08-2010, 10:59 AM

I feel like I am in the middle of a leap to the willingness level this year, I have started to study, which is a huge level up for me, have started a good exercise habit, and gotten a job that I really like and want to perform well at. I feel very driven, positive and passionate about all of this.
At the same time some of my old friends (and family members) are quite stuck at addiction, doing drugs or being alcoholics. I have tried to help them as much as I can but they keep slipping back into their addiction, and I have less and less time to spend with them, especially with all of this new stuff in my life and exams and all. I also notice I have less patience when I have tried to help them but it never seems to work.
Should I wait a while until I feel established at the new level? Or maybe just split my time in between new friends that share my passions and these old friends? I guess it is also natural that people drift apart when one goes different directions, and being destructive is in a way a choice? I am quite tired of being worried about people with addiction problems since I have been dealing with people and parents with these problems since I was a kid. Maybe I am just breaking out of the pattern of needing to have people with addiction problems around me?
btw. I dont have these problems myself, except being a little bit addicted to coffee

Grrl · 11-08-2010, 03:11 PM

Speaking from experience, you will feel better if you surround yourself with people that reflect your positive goals and values back to you.

I understand wanting to help people with addictions and problems by being there... but so often, being there is not enough and said people will just drag you down.

You're doing good things for you. Their addictions in a way are a life choice, just as your goals are your own choice. The path you're taking is one of direction and I think you should find other people that have this in common with you.

nube · 11-09-2010, 09:19 PM

thanks grrl, your answer made me think and also made me feel understood

I think it would be good to at least feel quite steady on this level and then rather take up contact while keeping all the new stuff and people in my life.
the article are your friends an elevator or a cage also made sense

11-08-2010, 10:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
nube Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 173	quantum leaps and friends I feel like I am in the middle of a leap to the willingness level this year, I have started to study, which is a huge level up for me, have started a good exercise habit, and gotten a job that I really like and want to perform well at. I feel very driven, positive and passionate about all of this. At the same time some of my old friends (and family members) are quite stuck at addiction, doing drugs or being alcoholics. I have tried to help them as much as I can but they keep slipping back into their addiction, and I have less and less time to spend with them, especially with all of this new stuff in my life and exams and all. I also notice I have less patience when I have tried to help them but it never seems to work. Should I wait a while until I feel established at the new level? Or maybe just split my time in between new friends that share my passions and these old friends? I guess it is also natural that people drift apart when one goes different directions, and being destructive is in a way a choice? I am quite tired of being worried about people with addiction problems since I have been dealing with people and parents with these problems since I was a kid. Maybe I am just breaking out of the pattern of needing to have people with addiction problems around me? btw. I dont have these problems myself, except being a little bit addicted to coffee

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11-08-2010, 03:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Grrl Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 63	Speaking from experience, you will feel better if you surround yourself with people that reflect your positive goals and values back to you. I understand wanting to help people with addictions and problems by being there... but so often, being there is not enough and said people will just drag you down. You're doing good things for you. Their addictions in a way are a life choice, just as your goals are your own choice. The path you're taking is one of direction and I think you should find other people that have this in common with you.

11-09-2010, 09:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
nube Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 173	thanks grrl, your answer made me think and also made me feel understood I think it would be good to at least feel quite steady on this level and then rather take up contact while keeping all the new stuff and people in my life. the article are your friends an elevator or a cage also made sense

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums