Would YOU consider this an imposition? Babysitting others' kids

[MementoMori]

Please provide your opinion whether this would be considered an imposition, or perhaps I need to be a more flexible person.

DH and I have one child, a fourth grade girl. We have new-ish, but pretty good friends who have two daughters, one who plays w/ours and one who is a kindergartener.

They are both psychologists. Today, the father (they share a practice and so the dad arranges the kids' lives as much as mom, i.e. play-dates, etcetera) caught me in the car line (after school) and asked me (I thought) to take the oldest (my daughter's close friend) for the entire weekend while they (the parents) have a nice weekend AWAY. I immediately said, "Sure" assuming it was the ONE child. He then said he meant both. I said, "YOU ARE KIDDING!" and laughed.

He wasn't. He said that his wife wants them in one place to make it easier to "check in on them". (to explain why the kindergartener isn't also being farmed out to her own playmate).

I thought about it and told him I thought that was simply too much. (It was hard not to be superwoman, believe me) For one afternoon or one evening, fine--but we're talking the WHOLE weekend. These girls are both wonderful, but the 5 year old is PRECOCIOUS, would NOT be "off with the others"--she'd need constant interaction and folks, I'm just not feelin' it!

So-am I too inflexible or would YOU agree this is, as I think it is, too much to ask. (It'd be different if it were an emergency but it is NOT.)

Thanks in advance.

[maclinda]

I think your response was reasonable.

If it were something urgent, that might be a different matter.

[Dharma]

Ditto. Go with your gut. Teach them flexibility

[C33]

This sounds, to me, like an imposition.

I do not have children, but I would imagine that a parent would not burden another parent with their own children on such short notice...What if you had plans for that week end? Don t you need time to get organized?

A sleepover is great , as long as you are prepared for that kind of thing...It is one thing that your child is friend with one of their children, but imposing the second child, is not fair on you. 3 kids is not a good number as there is usually one of them that feels left out and goes bugging the adults...

Besides, it seems your new friends didn t factor in the money...Did they propose to chip in for some of the costs of having 2 extra kids in your home for the whole week end?

Like other have said: it s not an emergency situation! They seem to have the means to get their children a full time babysitter if they need to get away for the week end.

I find it strange that these new people in your life would dump their children on you for a week end. I hope they reacted graciously to your answer and applaude you on standing your ground.

[MementoMori]

Thanks Maclinda, Dharma and C33. I appreciate the responses!!

I am glad to have outside perspective. One can get quite turned around, well I surely can, by over-thinking. And then if one has vestigial people-pleasing tendencies!! You know, the old "I CAN do that!" (Even when 'ya don't reeeaaaalllly want to and suspect you have sucker written on your head.)

The dad phoned me to clarify that BOTH children will be going elsewhere (his family).

I reminded him that I'll ALWAYS help in an emergency, (AND I'll almost always, for ANY reason, "babysit" ONE) but I'm not willing to work that hard (LOL) if they're just off being romantic.

Hey, please-those of you w/more than one child: Do you/have you left your children in separate (reliable/responsible) locations while you were away? I absolutely thought that was the norm.

Thanks again for your thoughts!

[taylor2]

boy! i hear ya on this one.i was the only stay at home mom on the block when i was raising my kids.u would not believe how many people dumped there kids on me.now i babysit my little grandsons about 50 hours a week.2 days at there house and 3 at mine.the 2 days i am at there house...a nurse who makes alot of money-has told her son to go to our house or if we are not home-to go to another friends house till she gets home.we feed him and sometimes i have to go get my daughter from work and i have to take him cause no one is home at his house.he is 8.he is a pretty smart and good kid so i don't truly mind but u would think this nurse mom wouldmake more careful arrangements in this day and age where things are scary.also we feed him snacks after school.my daughter is a single mom...trying to make ends meet.it is sad but it is ok.it would be nice to have this other mom buy some snacks sometime.once my daughter went over to ask if this kid could go to dinner with them.the boyfriend said"only if he gets to spend the nite too".my girl said sorry-but no.she had to get up and go to work the next morning.all so astounding.i think u did just right.