Hormones and Attraction

[dulaney0330]

As I get older, I find this to be true:

"Women are attracted to more masculine-looking men at the most fertile time of their menstrual cycle, psychologists have shown.
During the less fertile times, they choose men with more feminine-looking faces. These are seen as kinder and more co-operative, but less strong and healthy genetically."

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Women's choice of men goes in cycles

Sometimes, I feel very strongly to flirt with many men during this time. I do not but it's awfully tempting. Furthermore, it's a tad annoying to deal with and while I simply tell myself the reason, my hormones are strong!

Can other women relate?

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

Can other women relate?

Well I'm not a woman but I can relate. I feel strong urges to flirt with the opposite sex all the time

Well, of course not ALL the time, but I am a man after all... I have to find SOMEONE to satisfy me. And if I don't have anyone, ie a girlfriend, at the time... no woman is safe from my obvious advances

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

Well I'm not a woman but I can relate. I feel strong urges to flirt with the opposite sex all the time

Well, of course not ALL the time, but I am a man after all... I have to find SOMEONE to satisfy me. And if I don't have anyone, ie a girlfriend, at the time... no woman is safe from my obvious advances

haha, thanks for your thoughts curtis.

For a while there, I did look down on men because they always seemed to think about sex. But, I really can empathsize-especially in the last 2 years-and it's not as fun as one would think!

When I was single, I definitely enjoyed the freedom to go about flirting and what have you. I guess you could say I released that urge but it was never fulfilled. Being married, I withhold the urge but I am wondering if its going to be like for the rest of my life?

I do spend as much time with my husband during these times, although I still have this biological pull!

I just think its strange to acknowledge the fact since I never thought of myself as a "mammal." I feel like I am just another one of the animals who is looking for a strong, aggressive mate!

[smilingaway]

I can relate to your post, dulaney. As a woman I go through those cycles and since I am also married-I have to make sure the attention is on my husband.

Although, I also feel tempted to flirt and receive all this attention from other men.

And it seems to get stronger as you age, like you said!

stay strong!

[smilingaway]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

no woman is safe from my obvious advances

Smooth talker I see!

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

As I get older, I find this to be true:

"Women are attracted to more masculine-looking men at the most fertile time of their menstrual cycle, psychologists have shown.
During the less fertile times, they choose men with more feminine-looking faces. These are seen as kinder and more co-operative, but less strong and healthy genetically."

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Women's choice of men goes in cycles

Sometimes, I feel very strongly to flirt with many men during this time. I do not but it's awfully tempting. Furthermore, it's a tad annoying to deal with and while I simply tell myself the reason, my hormones are strong!

Can other women relate?

I have noticed that when I'm ovulating, men seem to want to hang around me more.

[Lovable]

I totally agree with this. I've seen and read a lot about it. It's interesting that reportedly when a woman is on birth control pills, she's more inclined to be attracted to a softer looking man, more feminine.

They say a man is most attracted to a woman when she's mid cycle. Apparently her tone of voice is most pleasing..

[spacecadetglow]

Wow, this is so true. I can't remember if it coincided with my cycle, but I can definitely remember being attracted to more masculine/feminine men at different times. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it had to do with our cycles.

I also tend to be really horny when I'm on my period. I've heard that women are very attractive at that time, even if we don't feel it. ;P

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

Wow, this is so true. I can't remember if it coincided with my cycle, but I can definitely remember being attracted to more masculine/feminine men at different times. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it had to do with our cycles.

I also tend to be really horny when I'm on my period. I've heard that women are very attractive at that time, even if we don't feel it. ;P

Same with me here. I tend to want sex a lot more around my fertile time but that is the worst time for my husband and I! (since some of our birth control is avoiding sex around fertile times)

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

Same with me here. I tend to want sex a lot more around my fertile time but that is the worst time for my husband and I! (since some of our birth control is avoiding sex around fertile times)

Condoms?

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by metamorph

Condoms?

We have those to! But, for extra protection we use the "ovulation calendar!"

I've been hearing a lot of family and friends getting pregnant even though they "use birth control." It makes me feel comfortable to use both, although somewhat annoying at times!

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

We have those to! But, for extra protection we use the "ovulation calendar!"

I've been hearing a lot of family and friends getting pregnant even though they "use birth control." It makes me feel comfortable to use both, although somewhat annoying at times!

I am glad. Sounded a bit cruel being married and not having sex when you are the most horny....

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by metamorph

I am glad. Sounded a bit cruel being married and not having sex when you are the most horny....

haha, it really is! The past couple months, though, I was like "screw it!" when the desire was too strong.

My husband most certainly appreciates this decision

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by Lovable

I totally agree with this. I've seen and read a lot about it. It's interesting that reportedly when a woman is on birth control pills, she's more inclined to be attracted to a softer looking man, more feminine.

That could be part of the reason why I am almost never attracted to softer looking men!

[curiouslyrandom]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

When I was single, I definitely enjoyed the freedom to go about flirting and what have you. I guess you could say I released that urge but it was never fulfilled. Being married, I withhold the urge but I am wondering if its going to be like for the rest of my life?

YES. And it will drive you crazy. I've seen it in other women and experienced it myself. The only thing you can do (assuming you want to stay married) is agree to certain boundaries with your husband. If he knows and understands that it's your hormones talking when you're being flirtatious with another guy and not that you're looking for an affair, things can work out.

So far as I know, all men like to be flirted with, even if it's with a woman he can't have. Guys I've flirted with socially tend to look out for me more, pay more attention to me in social settings, and offer to help out when I need a hand. I don't have to sleep with these guys to get these results, just let them know they're funny or have a nice smile, etc., and when I make them feel good, it benefits me as well.

For more about hormones and attraction, read Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?

As for birth control, I've used the Family Planning method (via Planned Parenthood) for most of my adult life. It's prevented me from having more kids than I wanted, it's free, reliable, and it's non-chemical. I can't take standard chemical/hormonal birth control for medical reasons.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

YES. And it will drive you crazy. I've seen it in other women and experienced it myself. The only thing you can do (assuming you want to stay married) is agree to certain boundaries with your husband. If he knows and understands that it's your hormones talking when you're being flirtatious with another guy and not that you're looking for an affair, things can work out.

So far as I know, all men like to be flirted with, even if it's with a woman he can't have. Guys I've flirted with socially tend to look out for me more, pay more attention to me in social settings, and offer to help out when I need a hand. I don't have to sleep with these guys to get these results, just let them know they're funny or have a nice smile, etc., and when I make them feel good, it benefits me as well.

For more about hormones and attraction, read Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?

As for birth control, I've used the Family Planning method (via Planned Parenthood) for most of my adult life. It's prevented me from having more kids than I wanted, it's free, reliable, and it's non-chemical. I can't take standard chemical/hormonal birth control for medical reasons.

Thanks for the post. Nice to know others know where I am coming from. Are you still married?

Yeah, I remember experiencing these strong desires in my early twenties but it wasn't until the ovulation calendar that I began to see how it correlated with my fertile times.

It's kinda funny how much I want to flirt for 3 days out of the month and the rest of the month, I am pretty content. It's like a flip of a switch, really.

[curiouslyrandom]

It is exactly like the flip of a switch, yes. Men can't understand our changing moods unless they understand the science behind it. We are ruled by our hormones.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

It is exactly like the flip of a switch, yes. Men can't understand our changing moods unless they understand the science behind it. We are ruled by our hormones.

Only with men these hormones are a steady, consistent stream of desire!

[curiouslyrandom]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

Only with men these hormones are a steady, consistent stream of desire!

Actually, I disagree with that, mainly because I've been in long term relationships with men who had lower sex drives than I do. And believe me, that's frustrating.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

Actually, I disagree with that, mainly because I've been in long term relationships with men who had lower sex drives than I do. And believe me, that's frustrating.

I think I should start this as a separate thread, but it is true there are some ups and downs in men too. I wonder if it is due to moon, weather, food, stress, hormones, football games on TV...

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

Actually, I disagree with that, mainly because I've been in long term relationships with men who had lower sex drives than I do. And believe me, that's frustrating.

I have had NO experience with this at all! It sounds out of this world..haha...

Every guy I dated, including my husband, had very high sex drives so it sounds like our experiences have definitely influenced our beliefs.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by metamorph

I think I should start this as a separate thread, but it is true there are some ups and downs in men too. I wonder if it is due to moon, weather, food, stress, hormones, football games on TV...

I am not in the mood when my sports team loses!

[curiouslyrandom]

Originally Posted by metamorph

I think I should start this as a separate thread, but it is true there are some ups and downs in men too. I wonder if it is due to moon, weather, food, stress, hormones, football games on TV...

In two cases, and these were relationships that lasted 2 and 6 years, these were men who just had chronic low sex drives. We stayed together because when we did have sex, it was really good. Also, they were just good guys who cared about me and treated me really well.

I'd be happy with sex first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and somewhere in between, but I have yet to find a lover who will do that for me AND stick around. The one man who has actually satisfied me isn't interested in making things more than the occasional once in a while weekend or evening out fling. I need more than that.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

In two cases, and these were relationships that lasted 2 and 6 years, these were men who just had chronic low sex drives. We stayed together because when we did have sex, it was really good. Also, they were just good guys who cared about me and treated me really well.

I'd be happy with sex first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and somewhere in between, but I have yet to find a lover who will do that for me AND stick around. The one man who has actually satisfied me isn't interested in making things more than the occasional once in a while weekend or evening out fling. I need more than that.

Have you talked to him about it?

Have you been with a man who has had a high sex drive?

[smilingaway]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

I also tend to be really horny when I'm on my period.

Same here! I get very aroused during my fertile times too.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

I'd be happy with sex first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and somewhere in between, but I have yet to find a lover who will do that for me AND stick around.

Do you know how much effort it costs a male body to produce all this sperm (considering he is also working, going to the gym etc). When it comes to orgasm females have a less exhausting/deamnding biology....

[smilingaway]

Originally Posted by metamorph

Do you know how much effort it costs a male body to produce all this sperm (considering he is also working, going to the gym etc). When it comes to orgasm females have a less exhausting/deamnding biology....

That's true...it is different for men and women when it comes to orgasms and how much it takes out of the body.

Maybe twice a day is a good fit?

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by smilingaway

That's true...it is different for men and women when it comes to orgasms and how much it takes out of the body.

Maybe twice a day is a good fit?

Yeah, I did not like the "somewhere in between" in your last post. Unless on holidays...

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by curiouslyrandom

In two cases, and these were relationships that lasted 2 and 6 years, these were men who just had chronic low sex drives. We stayed together because when we did have sex, it was really good. Also, they were just good guys who cared about me and treated me really well.

I'd be happy with sex first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and somewhere in between, but I have yet to find a lover who will do that for me AND stick around. The one man who has actually satisfied me isn't interested in making things more than the occasional once in a while weekend or evening out fling. I need more than that.

Yeah, what's up with that?! I've had similar experiences. I can be pretty much insatiable, and it IS really frustrating to be with someone who's content with 15 minutes of the in-and-out.

They must exist... and be intelligent, funny, and emotionally available too. Come on law of attraction!

[spacecadetglow]

Originally Posted by metamorph

Do you know how much effort it costs a male body to produce all this sperm (considering he is also working, going to the gym etc). When it comes to orgasm females have a less exhausting/deamnding biology....

Yeah, my last boyfriend always complained that he was so tired because we had too much sex, lol. Interesting.