Help me out with my parents !!

[Freelancer]

Ok here's the problem;
My parents view of my future life;
1) Finish education.
2) Get a 9-5 job and work untill I'm of old age.
3) Get a family and live the average life.

My personal view of my future life;
1) Start several business ventures.
2) Work for myself and generate passive income so I ultimately have more free time.
3) Get a family and spend loads of time with them, live a above average life and most importantly a happy life.

So these visions are radically different, right now I am starting to work on myself to prepare myself (reading books/starting to write articles/do prep. work) for my future. On the other hand my parents are constantly pushing me to get a job and work hard on my education (even though I doubt this education will be of any use for me in the future) basically leading me towards a average life. My father has always worked for a boss and although I respect him a lot I think he's trying to push me into the life he always wanted. When he was young he was forced to do something below his skill and he had to work very hard to sustain himself. He wants to get his children through school and get a good job they enjoy so they can sustain themselves. This all very honerable and nice, but I don't want to work for a boss. This is something I realized only in the past few months (partially because of steve pavlina) its just not a big challenge for me. I want to live a great life where I help a lot of people, working for a boss is fine. But I'm not aiming for fine I'm aiming for 'the greater good' and a GREAT life.

I love my parents unconditionally and this is tearing me apart internally, because I haven't told them yet about my ambitions. I share my projects with them and what I'm working on, but I haven't told them yet that I want to drop out of college and work for myself and not for a boss.

So help me out, how do I tackle this obstacle?





Ps. Don't start about how I won't make it self employed, I know you are probably saying it to help me. But I know personally deep inside that I will make it, so lets just assume scenario #2 is possible for me.

[Margaret]

Your parents come from a different age when having a "job" meant security. That has all changed with outsourcing and various other ways employers dream up to make sure the profits go to them and almost all employee's are dispensable. So that age is no longer. I commend you on your vision. However you must understand that people of your parents age are also facing a previously non existent issue, of adult children never leaving home. So they are thinking of your future and there own. Truthfully a degree has never hurt anyone, just having it under your belt can bring benefits, in our society. One of the problems with youth is that they have so little patience. Can you not obtain a degree in business, that would prove usefull someday, while pursueing your own goals. I would also probably "open" up to my parents regarding some of my own dreams. If they disagree with you, well you seem to know that making a dream come true requires a tough skin, there will always be those who tell you that it is impossible. Stick with those who encourage, always believing in yourself. Try to point out to your parents that the age they grew up in no longer exists. Job security is a myth. I know you will be sucessfull in all you do.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Margaret

Your parents come from a different age when having a "job" meant security. That has all changed with outsourcing and various other ways employers dream up to make sure the profits go to them and almost all employee's are dispensable. So that age is no longer. I commend you on your vision. However you must understand that people of your parents age are also facing a previously non existent issue, of adult children never leaving home. So they are thinking of your future and there own. Truthfully a degree has never hurt anyone, just having it under your belt can bring benefits, in our society. One of the problems with youth is that they have so little patience. Can you not obtain a degree in business, that would prove usefull someday, while pursueing your own goals. I would also probably "open" up to my parents regarding some of my own dreams. If they disagree with you, well you seem to know that making a dream come true requires a tough skin, there will always be those who tell you that it is impossible. Stick with those who encourage, always believing in yourself. Try to point out to your parents that the age they grew up in no longer exists. Job security is a myth. I know you will be sucessfull in all you do.

Right now I'm in my third year of 'medical and biological lab research' (free translation) which basically has little to do with the idea's I am pursueing right now. Starting over and getting a business degree seems rather pointless.

I understand that the meaning of a job has changed over time and security has a different meaning now (no more job's for life), I am not sure on how to tell them. Just dropping the bomb on them that I want to quit school/live by myself/start a business is very scary to do. I do have a thick skin and I'm definitley not going to give up if I get some resistance, however my parents are not part of the 'outside world'. They'r already past my skin if that makes sense, basically I have no defense against there disappointment. If they push me away because of this its going to hurt me A LOT and thats something I fear. On the other hand I'd hate to cover up my 'true' goals in life for much longer...

[tomjen]

Now I am not sure what you plan to make money on, but is it possible to use it to generate a little cash now?

A plan and idea is good, but nothing will convince your parents more that money - it is like saying to them I have this plan - and it works.

The reason you should do this is that when your parents find out that your plan works they will not have the usual concerns "Hmm, it sounds smart but can you really make money that way?" because you have just proved to them that it is posible.

[Brutha]

Ps. Don't start about how I won't make it self employed, I know you are probably saying it to help me. But I know personally deep inside that I will make it, so lets just assume scenario #2 is possible for me.

What makes you think so?
This forum a place in which the general assumption is that all is possible.
You seem to have fears on your own that let you conclude that everyone else thinks you won't succed. Face them.

[Dan.Linehan]

You need to stay entirely single minded on your goals.

Some people mention a "law of distraction" relating to LOA. That is what your parents are to you right now.

Stay on track with your goals; your instincts are right about business, I can tell. Even your screenname on here is sharp.

If you are single minded about your goals your parent's opinions won't matter.

Are your parents somehow stopping you from doing what you want? I doubt it.. it's the internet, a homeless person can pretty much run an e-business from the library.

Is what you want to manifest an endless debate with your parents? Because thats what you are creating by worrying about this.

Don't worry about them. At all. Worry about your goals. When you validate their fears by acknowledgement they will only grow stronger, and each minute you are distracted from working on your businesses that intention grows weaker.

What you pay attention to is what will manifest. Whether you think you can or can't do things your way, you're right. Stay focused on your goals, not your parents.

[Basu]

I agree with Tonjen. I'm facing the exact same problem with my parents. Luckily I realized some time ago that just going with my parents wasn't going to cut it. If I woke up ten years from now and suddenly realized my life sucked, blaming it on my parents wouldn't get me anywhere.
So I've started to work on it. I'm going to college far away, and for my four years I'm going to learn as much as I can about different things (prolly get two or three degrees) and figure out exactly how I'm going to live my life.
I've found my soul-mate and I know I'll start a family with her someday, though I haven't quite talked to her about it (one step at a time). Even though my parents gave me the whole "you're too young" advice.
If you already know what you want (and you sound like you do) cut the crap and get to making it work. Forget about what others say because in the end, it is your happiness that matters.
And just remember one thing: no matter how much your parents talk about getting a job, all they really want is for you to be happy and safe. And I don't think they will bother much if you get your 6-figure income from slogging your backside off for your boss or from writing blog posts. Just as long as you do get it and use it properly.
Cheers,
and the Force will be with you.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Brutha

What makes you think so?
This forum a place in which the general assumption is that all is possible.
You seem to have fears on your own that let you conclude that everyone else thinks you won't succed. Face them.

In my 'real life' everybody I talk to about trying to become self employed basically trows it back in my face that it won't work. So I know myself that I'll be able to make it, but my surroundings have a tendency to say the opposite. So I guess I assumed this forum was the same (wrongly apparantly), its nice to get a breather from the people who assume getting a job is the only way to go in life. I am starting to surround me with people who motivate me instead of dragging me down, its tough though.

Now I am not sure what you plan to make money on, but is it possible to use it to generate a little cash now?

A plan and idea is good, but nothing will convince your parents more that money - it is like saying to them I have this plan - and it works.

The reason you should do this is that when your parents find out that your plan works they will not have the usual concerns "Hmm, it sounds smart but can you really make money that way?" because you have just proved to them that it is posible.

It will take a while to generate income, I first need a base to work on.

You need to stay entirely single minded on your goals.

Some people mention a "law of distraction" relating to LOA. That is what your parents are to you right now.

Stay on track with your goals; your instincts are right about business, I can tell. Even your screenname on here is sharp.

If you are single minded about your goals your parent's opinions won't matter.

Are your parents somehow stopping you from doing what you want? I doubt it.. it's the internet, a homeless person can pretty much run an e-business from the library.

Is what you want to manifest an endless debate with your parents? Because thats what you are creating by worrying about this.

Don't worry about them. At all. Worry about your goals. When you validate their fears by acknowledgement they will only grow stronger, and each minute you are distracted from working on your businesses that intention grows weaker.

What you pay attention to is what will manifest. Whether you think you can or can't do things your way, you're right. Stay focused on your goals, not your parents.

Your right, I'm starting to focus less on how to tell my parents this and more on how to SHOW them that it will work.

Also I never realized that my screenname is so much in allignment with my goals, I've had it for like 4 years already long before I started thinking about being self employed. So I guess my subconscious picked it for me.

I agree with Tonjen. I'm facing the exact same problem with my parents. Luckily I realized some time ago that just going with my parents wasn't going to cut it. If I woke up ten years from now and suddenly realized my life sucked, blaming it on my parents wouldn't get me anywhere.
So I've started to work on it. I'm going to college far away, and for my four years I'm going to learn as much as I can about different things (prolly get two or three degrees) and figure out exactly how I'm going to live my life.
I've found my soul-mate and I know I'll start a family with her someday, though I haven't quite talked to her about it (one step at a time). Even though my parents gave me the whole "you're too young" advice.
If you already know what you want (and you sound like you do) cut the crap and get to making it work. Forget about what others say because in the end, it is your happiness that matters.
And just remember one thing: no matter how much your parents talk about getting a job, all they really want is for you to be happy and safe. And I don't think they will bother much if you get your 6-figure income from slogging your backside off for your boss or from writing blog posts. Just as long as you do get it and use it properly.
Cheers,
and the Force will be with you.

That is my 'fear' as well (not exactly fear more of a feeling of awkwardness) that if I wake up 10 years from now and work 5 days a week at the job I'm studying for right now doesn't feel right and it feels like I'm wasting my time.



To everyone;
Thanks for the suggestions, I've been talking to my parents about what I am trying to do online. They'r enthusiastic that I'm trying to make it work, but I think that they'r starting to get that I don't really want to finish school. I also showed them this video;
What The Wealthy Buy on Payday
Which I think opened up my mothers eye's about starting a business of my own (this is btw a really good video).

I am also starting to spend more and more time on self development and using it as well. Starting next week I'll become a early riser (get up at 6am) and I get a whiteboard where I write down goals/targets and some motivational lines. I'm also starting to push myself out of my own comfort zone, A line I read somewhere was; if it hurts to try something than your growing (loosely translated). Its not like I am trying to hurt my feelings now, but instead of quitting when it hurts I visualize being a better person ones I'm done so that it pushes me over that initial barrier. I am starting to feel its easier and easier to try new things, and in the end growing.