27 year old guy, never had a relationship

[xnez]

I'm a 27 year old bi-sexual guy who has yet to have a "real" relationship.

What i mean by that is i have dated, but there is no one who was really every my girl/boy friend. I can never appear to get to that point. Sure we date and fool around a little. I have had a good time, but it hurts that i can't develop a more lasting relationship with people.

I'm not sure what i am looking for with posting this. But i feel really stuck.

Any recommendations are more then welcome. Thanks

[Adrienne]

X
I would say the first question is.. do you want a "real relationship" and how do you define such?

You don't suck.

Adrienne

[openeyes]

One thing I can say is you're not alone. I'm a 22 year old bisexual male. I used to do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but it's been a few years since that was my standard operating procedure. Sometimes I look at friends who are with someone they've been dating exclusively for months if not years, and feel like I would enjoy being in that situation, but in reality I wouldn't be willing to give up what I have in order to do so.

Right now, I have at least half a dozen men and women (mostly women) that I can cuddle up to whenever I see them, and if I were ever feeling bad/lonely I'd be welcome to call them up anytime, day or night. Some have been close to me for several years now. There are a few people I've met who I may consider focusing on exclusively in a romantic sense, but for it to really work, the person couldn't be jealous, as even though I'm fine with "going all the way" with only one person, I could never give up being affectionate with so many friends. I'd rather stay officially single.

About all I can recommend is what I'm doing now: make sure the focus is more than just sexuality (unless that's all you want, in which case there'd be no point in getting into "relationships"), have fun together, and listen to her/him. Maybe it won't turn out perfectly the first time, but things should improve with experience, particularly as you get a better idea of what you really want (I'm getting pickier about who I spend time with, for example, as there are just so many great people out there).

[Trina]

Having a "real relationship" is hard anymore. Half the people I know who are married don't even have "real relationships". I think you need to look for people you can connect with despite the possibility of romance.

Otherwise, just be the kind of person you would want in your life. That's all the advice I can give. LOL.

[fourthdan]

agree with tina 120%. it's just so true... i know very few couples who have a real relationship, especially the married ones.
also as far as working on yourself, that bit's true too.

you're not alone. and there's nothing wrong with being relatively unique.
only dead fish go with the flow anyways

[Kamma]

Well, I would say that you have to know what you really want in the relationship sense before tackling the fact that you don't have one.

I agree that you should focus on yourself. Look inwards and develop you and you never know what (or indeed who) might come into your life. have you actually thought about what you want from this 'relationship'? I wouldn't get overly anxious about it anyway.

By the way I'm one of the married people who does have a real relationship!!

[Erock]

I'm a firm believer that you must truly love yourself first. The only people who have long satisfying relationships are those who would get along just fine without them. Believe me, these types of people are rare.

Erock

[Cassie]

Xnez, you just may not have found the right person to settle down with yet. When you least expect it, don't be surprised if you suddenly get bit with the love bug.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by Erock

I'm a firm believer that you must truly love yourself first. The only people who have long satisfying relationships are those who would get along just fine without them. Believe me, these types of people are rare.

Erock

I second this.