Face to face friend: "Hey I just found you on Pavlina's Forum." Gulp

[Piercetheveil]

Heh, I do love the internets. It sure does test your congruency. Nice to be checked in on every now and then. Also a bit disconcerting.

[Cochonette]

lmao. I have worried before that someone will find me on forums.

[ssandra]

I've thought about it, but never really worried.

I am who I am, and if people cannot accept that, that is their loss, not mine

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Piercetheveil

Heh, I do love the internets. It sure does test your congruency. Nice to be checked in on every now and then. Also a bit disconcerting.

And.... did they say they found anything they didn't know about you?

[Piercetheveil]

Steve has a slant about anonymity that seems to be in line with where tech is going: Transparency. Robert Scoble said the same a while back about opening all his stuff up. Connecting the dots as it were.

I started an experiment a while back slowly and quietly linking all my past online trails to a central spot. A spot that is googleable. I think I posted on here about something like that.

For me personally, the idea of transparency has been INCREDIBLY freeing. It has been my experience that most of my hidden secrets that involve interaction eventual come out anyway. I prefer to be the one that outs them. In fact, it is a large source of power.

It also has uncovered fears, insecurities, and mirror time with my personal reality. It has been a 10 year journey starting with thinking about it then with taking heavy action in the last 3 years (I believe that is right).

This, seems to me, to be not the same as privacy which I find people crossing wires on.

[MidasGirl]

Some of my F2F friends would probably be mortified if they saw my sex threads. Maybe I should just post an avatar pic just to torture them and get them out of my life, finally.

[James81]

I worry more about the things I've shared and whether if the people I've mentioned in my own journey reading what I've written out of context or without understanding what I was doing...how they might feel. (Like my parents)

As far as the rest, I don't worry about the anonymity factor too much. I'm pretty secure with my beliefs as of late and what I've been posting.

[Savage]

Privacy is delusional.

[secrets0stolen]

That's where I got my user Fear that someone would find me here

[noitcefrep]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Privacy is delusional.

I suppose in this day and age, a stroll on any given street will likely results in security cameras following you. Even a passerby's snapshot has you captured in the bokeh, or the Google Maps truck could be looming 'round the corner.

IP addresses are tracked and stored, phone conversations are tapped and traced. Even the damn neighbor has one eye carefully positioned between two blinds to watch your life.

I would like to think that my online presence is anonymous (specifically my account here) but I know there is a trail that could lead here. The trail must start with people I know in real life though, or I suppose any moderator that I've emailed could out me.

I wonder how people I know would react to my posts here. I think they'd look at me differently. Judge me more harshly, trust me less often.

Hm.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by noitcefrep

I wonder how people I know would react to my posts here. I think they'd look at me differently. Judge me more harshly, trust me less often.

Hm.

I know what you mean -my family already considers me strange I cannot imagine what they would think if they read some of this stuff !

anyway you will not be judged here

[Piercetheveil]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Privacy is delusional.

Only if you want to create a pot stirring point .

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by Piercetheveil

Only if you want to create a pot stirring point .

With your screen name, one would think you'd agree with Steve.

[Piercetheveil]

Ssandra,

They did a full on stalk it seems lol. Yep, they were suprised about some things I enjoyed their understanding of me being blown up. Heck, I have tried for quite a while to spark that process but they were convinced they totally knew me. So, apparently their creeping in on my posts was the best method for that to happen and not me talking to them about it.

It was fun.

[Piercetheveil]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

With your screen name, one would think you'd agree with Steve.

Sure I would...in that I do not think people can erase traces of themselves. I also recognize his style as it is mine too. I also understand that either he would admit to being delusional or use a different word to explain levels of sharing.

[tarajc]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I've thought about it, but never really worried.

I am who I am, and if people cannot accept that, that is their loss, not mine

Well said.

[Liz Caitlin]

Originally Posted by Piercetheveil

Heh, I do love the internets. It sure does test your congruency. Nice to be checked in on every now and then. Also a bit disconcerting.

My boyfriend found out I had cheated on my ex & once wanted an open relationship by reading my posts on this forum. It DOES test your congruency...in my case it was a wonderful occurrence, though, since we became even more honest with & close to each other.

Your friend see anything interesting?

[Angela]

Happens to me ALL the time. I had a job offer from someone who had done a google on me before the interview and found me on here. He asked me about my thoughts on money -- like, "do you REALLY believe good-feeling thoughts attract money?" very skeptical-like. I had a quick moment of: Gulp! Didn't expect THAT! It was great, though, because it gave me a chance to talk about that stuff openly, and how I would use it on the job, and he just loved it.

[Piercetheveil]

Liz!!! Heya!

A few things. Some things never came up in convo so my sexual/romantic interests and views were a topic for them.

• They got uncomfortable with this "if it feels good do it vibe" that 'you people' seem to embrace. "But tell me more about this perspective." (HA!)
  
• They were perplexed that I get away with saying half the stuff I say online like I do off as their thought was that people behind screens would be more more apt to chew me up and spit me out.
  
• Were not aware of my interest in art (that was a shocker for me).

And the big kicker?

"Why is it that you flirt so openly with everyone but me?"

My response a few years ago? "Um well maybe you just do not pick up on my subtleness."

My response now? "I am not into you in a flirty kinda way."

Neat to hear your response about your situation Liz.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by noitcefrep

I wonder how people I know would react to my posts here. I think they'd look at me differently. Judge me more harshly, trust me less often.

Hm.

That's an f'ed up attitude to be sure. Plus it's totally backwards from what would actually happen.

If you stopped with privacy crap, you'd drop all pretense of hiding stuff that's obvious to people anyway. You'd stop substituting fake connections for real ones. You'd finally have some real relationships enter your life, not the fake crap you mistaken for friendship.

And you'd stop identifying so much with your past junk, freeing up your power to create.

The harsh judgment you levy on yourself every day for being fake is way worse than anything external critics could do to you when you stop faking it.

All you're doing is keeping love and connection away, trying in vain to protect that vulnerable inner child who just wants to be loved.

This week I'm hanging out with a bunch of very successful friends in Santa Fe. They know my past. They know I used to be a thief. They know I went bankrupt, separated from Erin, have a new g/f and that I'm into D/s.

They hug me and accept just the same... moreso in fact because they know I won't judge them for any of the crap they've been through.

If you pretend to be someone you're not, I guarantee the other people in your life are doing the same. You're a shell interacting with shells.

Shell games are pointless.

[Piercetheveil]

Besides... the harsh judgment you levy on yourself every day for being fake is way worse than anything external critics could do to you when you stop faking it.

This.

[metamorph]

I prefer privacy and I really think it is not delusional but optional! I share way more here than in real life. I think a lot of people "can't handle the truth". No their own truth, and most certainly not someone else's truth. I don't blame them.
Depending on your job it can also get you sacked (I am sure there are notable exceptions as Angela described).

Probably the only one I can have meta-communication with is my sister. We can be radically honest with each other, and I would not mind her finding me here.

[Zach M]

Yeah, sometimes I get nervous about posting here, especially using my real name, knowing that once it's online it's out there for the rest of my life and beyond. My posts could outlive me by centuries. But guess what? I post here anyway.

By the way, Hi, people of the future! I hope your studies of early 21st century life are going well. BTW, have you solved the Reimann Hypothesis yet?

Riemann hypothesis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Hern]

I allways Google search any potential new workers. Amazing what they are so open with and posted under their real names. Hint you have been Googled before an interview; "How was your vacation to *.*?"

[Weena]

If anyone i know ever finds me here i'm pretty obvious since i use my real first name and talk exactly how i talk in real life. I don't care because i stand for my spiritual opinions. Anyway there are stuff i don't share, like i avoid talking about a topic that is on my mind about my husband's crap job situation just in case one of his employers ever stumble across this site (getting someone else than me into trouble isn't my aim). Other than that... I'm me. Totally with Sandra on that one.

[noitcefrep]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

That's an f'ed up attitude to be sure. Plus it's totally backwards from what would actually happen.

If you stopped with privacy crap, you'd drop all pretense of hiding stuff that's obvious to people anyway. You'd stop substituting fake connections for real ones. You'd finally have some real relationships enter your life, not the fake crap you mistaken for friendship.

And you'd stop identifying so much with your past junk, freeing up your power to create.

The harsh judgment you levy on yourself every day for being fake is way worse than anything external critics could do to you when you stop faking it.

All you're doing is keeping love and connection away, trying in vain to protect that vulnerable inner child who just wants to be loved.

This week I'm hanging out with a bunch of very successful friends in Santa Fe. They know my past. They know I used to be a thief. They know I went bankrupt, separated from Erin, have a new g/f and that I'm into D/s.

They hug me and accept just the same... moreso in fact because they know I won't judge them for any of the crap they've been through.

If you pretend to be someone you're not, I guarantee the other people in your life are doing the same. You're a shell interacting with shells.

Shell games are pointless.

Gave me something to think about, Steve. When you've been playing the shell game for so long, it's as though it becomes the only option. The only way of interacting. I suppose I'll try to rid that mentality.

[noitcefrep]

Talking about making real connections:

<3 YouTube - Bright Eyes - "First Day of My Life" <3

[brendannz]

Actually googling the name of my art site shows my forum self on google, and that was a big mistake I made..

I don't worry too much about my posts, but my posts from about a year ago, are what I worry about more. But might as well let it be.

If somebody's going to really go through all your forum posts to find out things about your life then they're pretty nosy and probably not worth having in your life too much

Originally Posted by noitcefrep

<3 YouTube - Bright Eyes - "First Day of My Life" <3

That song is cool

Originally Posted by Weena

about my husband's crap job situation just in case one of his employers ever stumble across this site (getting someone else than me into trouble isn't my aim).

Yeah I also hope my boss doesn't find my forum self, but I don't see why he'd want to nosy through personal thoughts anyway..

[Angela]

Originally Posted by metamorph

I.... I think a lot of people "can't handle the truth". ....
Depending on your job it can also get you sacked

Why would you want to hang out with or work for someone who can't handle your truth? Being open and fully self-expressed is a fine way to filter out the people and circumstances you're with out of habit, rather than choice, and to attract what's right for you.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by Angela

Why would you want to hang out with or work for someone who can't handle your truth? Being open and fully self-expressed is a fine way to filter out the people and circumstances you're with out of habit, rather than choice, and to attract what's right for you.

There are certain jobs (e.g. doctors, politicians) in which you have to be a little bit more discrete as the public scrutinises you more closely. Can you imagine googling a doctor and politician's name and finding posts on a forum where he expresses his liberal views on premaritial sex or masturbation etc?