My own thread

[mattsonn]

Today I had a little bit of an epiphany...I was going swimming as part of my goal to live a more balanced life at school. It was the middle of the day, and I was the only male present (5 female swimmers and female lifeguard). When I got there, there was one girl swimming who right away I noticed and thought was kind of hot. Anyway, I get in the water a couple of lanes down and start doing laps. I've basically forgotten about her, but about a minute later, I realize that she was checking me out. It was just one of those things I could tell.

Right away, I had my usual conflicting reaction of not wanting to do anything about it, while part of my brain said "approach her!" I took the usual route of pretending I noticed nothing, and after a couple more minutes I saw that she wasn't checking me out anymore (cue wussy feeling).

That sort of thing has happened enough that it wouldn't be worth mentioning at all except that things were a little different this time. I'm not going to go into details, but I've had a wierd weekend, and when I went swimming today, I just completely relaxed and the thinking part of my brain shut down. And while I was going through my "conflicting reaction" stage when she first noticed me, at same time I suddenly saw myself smoothly getting out of the water, walking over to her lane while she was at the wall, introducing myself with her, and asking if she wanted to hang out with me and my friends next week. Then getting her info (in one way or another) and walking back to my own lane without a second thought about the matter.

Anyway, I was pretty hyped up about the fact that I suddenly realized that doing this would be possible. But the thing is, if I were to do it now, I watch botch it up...at least the first several times (unless I had a gun to my head ). But this is a very clear goal for me now. Something to work towards.

I think that this is going to require some extra practice, time, and energy outside my normal life. I'm going to need to make a big deal about this on the board, with my friends, etc, because that's just how I am. Without any further ado, this is the initial plan that I'm going to try to follow:

(1) Make a list of stuff I need to do to get adequetely caught up on my classes (I don't care about my grades, but I also don't want to have a sinking feeling that I'm failing my classes...because usually that means I am)

(2) Update this list every day until there's nothing left. Hold myself accountable. Make a big deal about this with friends, share the excitement, etc.

(3) Finally discuss my "goal" with my friends, and see if I can't set up some situation where I could either practice in a controlled environment, or at least have them be my wing. None of my friends seem to be at all insecure about women, but hopefully they'll be interested in helping me.

K, that's it!

[JoshLowry]

Well best of luck to you! I think you just need to work on your confidence, think about the worst case scenario? She would of laughed or said no? You would still be fine.

Here is a good quote from Bob Parsons that is relevant to you.

Originally Posted by BobParsons.com

With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be. Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of "undefined consequences." My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, "Well, Robert, if it doesn't work, they can't eat you."

Like I said, best of luck to ya!

[mattsonn]

Thanks Josh! Don't disagree with anything there.

I came up with a list of 30 substantial things I need to do to get caught up (mostly research, studying related). Down to 29 already. Will update again when down to 20.