Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

wadoo · 03-11-2007, 07:44 AM

Hello,

Firstly I want to sorry for my English, because I am not a native speaker.

So, I have some problems with my social skills and I really want to fix it. I don't know whether there are any people in this world, who have the same strange fears

By the look I am pretty confident guy, but I have some strange fears. One of them are to go out - I'm afraid of meeting people. I don't know what is it, but I am afraid of that.

I am even afraid of going in my balcony and just read there, because I don't want that other people will see me

The same situation is when I am going in the city and it looks to me that everybody is looking and me. Especially if I am going with my dad or my mum. I don't know why, but I have the stigma of going with my parents (but they are really cool!). When I am going with my friends it is lil' bit easier for me.

The next strange fear - to talk with people on telephone. Especially if those people are senior to me. I got scared when the phone rings and my heart is knocking.

Any ideas how to fix these problems? I would be really really grateful if you could help me a litle bit.

Thanks!

moviestar · 03-11-2007, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wadoo

Hello,

Firstly I want to sorry for my English, because I am not a native speaker.

So, I have some problems with my social skills and I really want to fix it. I don't know whether there are any people in this world, who have the same strange fears

Believe me. Everyone has these fears. I mean it, EVERYBODY. You're not alone.

Quote:

By the look I am pretty confident guy, but I have some strange fears. One of them are to go out - I'm afraid of meeting people. I don't know what is it, but I am afraid of that.

I am even afraid of going in my balcony and just read there, because I don't want that other people will see me

My whole life I was like this. About a year and a half ago I decided I have to stop this and I did. I could not go into a shop and buy something not to feel stupid or be afraid. I finally found the solution and I am free right now. If you begin your path to get rid of these fears today, trust me, in one year you will be free.

Quote:

Any ideas how to fix these problems? I would be really really grateful if you could help me a litle bit.

Don't look for a "fix". If you will, you will fail. You won't find it. You're not a car that has broken. Realize that you have been like this all your life and to change this will require an enormous amount of energy, will power and time. I say 1 year of constant, daily practice. Are you ready for this journey? Are you so fed up with this fear, are you so sick of living in fear that you are willing to spend time everyday to improve yourself?

wadoo · 03-12-2007, 05:13 AM

I really want to practise everyday and I am not afraid of hard work, but I don't know what to do. Should I read more; visualize or just go there and try to act like "the best me"? But believe me it is very hard to go there and act completely different. It is easy to said.

But I would be particularly happy and grateful, if you could share your own ways, how you became free. What's your solution?

PS: Thanks for encouraging!

moviestar · 03-12-2007, 08:15 PM

My answer is: try everything. That's why I wrote it will require time and dedication.
I literally used every technique I could find on the internet. NLP, visualisation, affirmations, self-hypnosis, writing goals, reading, writing journals, you name it, I tried it.

Don't push yourself out there for now. Start educating yourself about your problem. You may want to change your self-image first. I suggest you read Psycho-Cybernetics: Amazon.com: Psycho-Cybernetics, A New Way to Get More Living Out of Life: Books: F.I.C.S. Maxwell Maltz.
It's a book written by a surgeon which discovered that the problem of his patients was not that they were ugly but because they THOUGHT they were ugly.

wadoo · 03-13-2007, 06:51 PM

Thank you very much moviestar!

Ill do it!

PS: maybe here are some other people who would be able to share their thoughts about this situation?

wadoo · 03-13-2007, 07:20 PM

One more question to moviestar:

Can you say how much time did you spend on this social goal each day?

Personally, I planned to work with myself 1 hour in the morning, 20 minutes in the middle of the day and 1 hour and 15 minutes in evening. What do you think?

03-11-2007, 07:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
wadoo Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 19	Strange situation - irratonal fears??? Hello, Firstly I want to sorry for my English, because I am not a native speaker. So, I have some problems with my social skills and I really want to fix it. I don't know whether there are any people in this world, who have the same strange fears By the look I am pretty confident guy, but I have some strange fears. One of them are to go out - I'm afraid of meeting people. I don't know what is it, but I am afraid of that. I am even afraid of going in my balcony and just read there, because I don't want that other people will see me The same situation is when I am going in the city and it looks to me that everybody is looking and me. Especially if I am going with my dad or my mum. I don't know why, but I have the stigma of going with my parents (but they are really cool!). When I am going with my friends it is lil' bit easier for me. The next strange fear - to talk with people on telephone. Especially if those people are senior to me. I got scared when the phone rings and my heart is knocking. Any ideas how to fix these problems? I would be really really grateful if you could help me a litle bit. Thanks!

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03-12-2007, 05:13 AM	#3 (permalink)
wadoo Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 19	I really want to practise everyday and I am not afraid of hard work, but I don't know what to do. Should I read more; visualize or just go there and try to act like "the best me"? But believe me it is very hard to go there and act completely different. It is easy to said. But I would be particularly happy and grateful, if you could share your own ways, how you became free. What's your solution? PS: Thanks for encouraging!

03-12-2007, 08:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
moviestar Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 145	My answer is: try everything. That's why I wrote it will require time and dedication. I literally used every technique I could find on the internet. NLP, visualisation, affirmations, self-hypnosis, writing goals, reading, writing journals, you name it, I tried it. Don't push yourself out there for now. Start educating yourself about your problem. You may want to change your self-image first. I suggest you read Psycho-Cybernetics: Amazon.com: Psycho-Cybernetics, A New Way to Get More Living Out of Life: Books: F.I.C.S. Maxwell Maltz. It's a book written by a surgeon which discovered that the problem of his patients was not that they were ugly but because they THOUGHT they were ugly.

03-13-2007, 06:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
wadoo Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 19	Thank you very much moviestar! Ill do it! PS: maybe here are some other people who would be able to share their thoughts about this situation?

03-13-2007, 07:20 PM	#6 (permalink)
wadoo Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 19	One more question to moviestar: Can you say how much time did you spend on this social goal each day? Personally, I planned to work with myself 1 hour in the morning, 20 minutes in the middle of the day and 1 hour and 15 minutes in evening. What do you think?

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums