Sex?

[weissichnichtwohin]

hi everyone, i am new to the forums.
I have read alot steve's articles....and I find he didn't mention about sex?
Sex plays an important role in everyone's life. Though I am not very fond of sex, I still think it worth a discussion.
You know, in some mystic oriental theories, keep varginity is essential to achive some special abilities, such as "superior master of kungfu", and also higer "spirit level".
As for me, who is interested in those mystic theories, I haven't had sex with a female for almost 5 years. I do mastrobate, which made me feel guilty.
Ye, I can stop smoking/drinking, make my life better by physical training and meditation/quiting news reading/ getting more courage. but sex is always a problem. sometimes i feel so temptated.
And many people believe sex freedom is quite good for everyone, and have free sex has nothing to do with "spirit".
sorry my english is poor, but i do want to know , as a person of higher consciousness, what should his view be on sex.

[weissichnichtwohin]

btw: i am 26years old, had my viginal sex at 21.
I want to quit mastrubating, but it is hard.

[songwriter]

yes, I miss sex or love or affairs stuff. If Steve doesn't talk we can talk ourselves... but I'm not the one who can advice about it.

[Michael Chui]

Step 1: Decide for yourself what is right. Don't ask someone else to give you morals.

Step 2: Implement your decisions. Start, or continue, doing what is right. Stop, or avoid, doing what is wrong.

Endnote: I'm pretty sure Steve has sex. That's the most likely place his children came from.

[openeyes]

Actually Steve has written a bit on the subject:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/ask-steve-sex/

"Sex can be a wonderful vehicle for personal growth, especially in a long-term relationship. Sure it feels good too, but the long-term benefit is that sex can reveal emotional blocks you still need to work through. Your deepest emotional issues will surface during sex, including low self-esteem, fear of inadequacy, or a poor relationship with your body. How you view sex is indicative of your larger life as well. Empty and meaningless sex life? You probably don’t see much meaning in your life yet. Confusing or frustrating sex life? Confusing or frustrating life. Rewarding and fulfilling sex life? Your life is probably the same. Your recent sexual experiences, when examined consciously, can point you in the direction of breakthrough emotional growth."

I find the possibilities he discusses later in the article particularly interesting.

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by openeyes

Actually Steve has written a bit on the subject:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/ask-steve-sex/

"Sex can be a wonderful vehicle for personal growth, especially in a long-term relationship. Sure it feels good too, but the long-term benefit is that sex can reveal emotional blocks you still need to work through. Your deepest emotional issues will surface during sex, including low self-esteem, fear of inadequacy, or a poor relationship with your body. How you view sex is indicative of your larger life as well. Empty and meaningless sex life? You probably don’t see much meaning in your life yet. Confusing or frustrating sex life? Confusing or frustrating life. Rewarding and fulfilling sex life? Your life is probably the same. Your recent sexual experiences, when examined consciously, can point you in the direction of breakthrough emotional growth."

I find the possibilities he discusses later in the article particularly interesting.

Yes, I remember that.
I belong to "empty sex life" so I guess I don't see much meaning in my life yet. mmm...

[weissichnichtwohin]

thanks guys.
I have just read the article.
steve didnt tell us what can we do when we have no wives. I d btter figuer it out myself.

[Victoria]

I think he was referring to any long-term, caring relationship. I do like Steve's ideas on the subject; regardless of your religous or spiritual leanings, it can't be denied that sex involves emotions, whatever they may be.

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

Step 1: Decide for yourself what is right. Don't ask someone else to give you morals.

don't tell me what to do!

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by yossarian

don't tell me what to do!

I tell you now: do as I command ye to not do. Don't listen to me. Hey look, it's Godel.

[Lallymac]

I feel quite sad when I hear of people feeling guilty about self pleasuring (masturbation). Our sexuality is as much a part of us as all our other desires and needs. Exploring and loving ones self is healthy and normal especially when you are single. Self pleasuring keeps the feelings we'd like to share with another alive and well. Knowing ourselves and what gives us pleasure, adds to both partners sexual enjoyment in the next relationship rather than detracting.
I feel suppressing our normal natural urges is potentially more damaging than enjoying that part of ourselves. Sexual pleasure/release in a relationship or on your own, can enhance your sense of well being.
Within healthy relationships, sexuality encompasses multiple aspects self expression. The more of ourselves we can bring into a relationship and openly share with a partner, the more we learn and grow.
Lallymac

[songwriter]

I think that sex and love are the cause of it all. The "why" behind everything. The libido as Jung said... the source of motivation. That's why I think it is veeery important to talk about it.

[moviestar]

Why do you want to stop masturbating? Do you know any woman that knows how to give you pleasure more than yourself?

[Lallymac]

Imagine if you did meet such a woman. You could add that intention to your IM list. I have a single friend who has designed and built two homes for himself. I've asked him if he's allowed for someone elses design ideas to be included, or even imagined meeting a lady who could share and enhance his ideas. His response has been 'but it's my house.' This man still lives alone and gets quite depressed that he still hasn't met anyone.
Lallymac

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

Step 1: Decide for yourself what is right. Don't ask someone else to give you morals.

Step 2: Implement your decisions. Start, or continue, doing what is right. Stop, or avoid, doing what is wrong.

Endnote: I'm pretty sure Steve has sex. That's the most likely place his children came from.

That's great.
But...
Step 1: I've already decided what's right no matter what anyone says.
Step 2: It doesn't work for me. So only the things I do not want would work for me. In Spain we say "God gives bread to the one who has no teeth..."

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by songwriter

So only the things I do not want would work for me.

I recommend that you school your desires such that you want nothing.

[modern_monk]

Originally Posted by weissichnichtwohin

As for me, who is interested in those mystic theories, I haven't had sex with a female for almost 5 years. I do mastrobate, which made me feel guilty.

It was proven that smoking, drinking when feeling negative emotions is damaging
if you do have sex anyway, even if it is a self-sex, maybe better enjoy it
(alone or with a partner) in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way - lol

Celibacy is good if it is not trying to avoid other gender
aha, I think you do not feel guilty but your genes that would like to multiplicate get unhappy of missed chance

I want to quit mastrubating, but it is hard.

try your best, you are only a human, a young human being

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I recommend that you school your desires such that you want nothing.

mmm... if I want nothing... why wake up from the bed???... we need goals I think. Maybe I should try in ways I don't want, like polarizing... mmm...

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by weissichnichtwohin

You know, in some mystic oriental theories, keep varginity is essential to achive some special abilities, such as "superior master of kungfu", and also higer "spirit level".

Actually the kungfu masters also have sex. It's just that they stop short of ejaculating.

I do mastrobate, which made me feel guilty.

Ummm, in the mystic oriential theories, masturbating is definitely a poor substitute for sex. You won't be balancing your yang energy with yin; you'll just be losing yang energy in return for nothing.

And the guilt part is ....... a little old-fashioned, I have to say.

sorry my english is poor, but i do want to know , as a person of higher consciousness, what should his view be on sex.

Osho was a big advocate of tantric sex.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by songwriter

mmm... if I want nothing... why wake up from the bed???... we need goals I think. Maybe I should try in ways I don't want, like polarizing... mmm...

Because then everything would work for you, no?