Personal Development for Smart People Forums

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

 

Go Back   Personal Development for Smart People Forums > Personal Development > Social & Relationships

Notices

Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-10-2007, 01:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 12
weissichnichtwohin is on a distinguished road
Default Sex?

hi everyone, i am new to the forums.
I have read alot steve's articles....and I find he didn't mention about sex?
Sex plays an important role in everyone's life. Though I am not very fond of sex, I still think it worth a discussion.
You know, in some mystic oriental theories, keep varginity is essential to achive some special abilities, such as "superior master of kungfu", and also higer "spirit level".
As for me, who is interested in those mystic theories, I haven't had sex with a female for almost 5 years. I do mastrobate, which made me feel guilty.
Ye, I can stop smoking/drinking, make my life better by physical training and meditation/quiting news reading/ getting more courage. but sex is always a problem. sometimes i feel so temptated.
And many people believe sex freedom is quite good for everyone, and have free sex has nothing to do with "spirit".
sorry my english is poor, but i do want to know , as a person of higher consciousness, what should his view be on sex.
weissichnichtwohin is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2007, 01:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 12
weissichnichtwohin is on a distinguished road
Default

btw: i am 26years old, had my viginal sex at 21.
I want to quit mastrubating, but it is hard.
weissichnichtwohin is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2007, 01:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,123
songwriter is on a distinguished road
Default

yes, I miss sex or love or affairs stuff. If Steve doesn't talk we can talk ourselves... but I'm not the one who can advice about it.
songwriter is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2007, 02:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 3,977
Michael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud of
Default

Step 1: Decide for yourself what is right. Don't ask someone else to give you morals.

Step 2: Implement your decisions. Start, or continue, doing what is right. Stop, or avoid, doing what is wrong.

Endnote: I'm pretty sure Steve has sex. That's the most likely place his children came from.
Michael Chui is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2007, 03:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,629
openeyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppableopeneyes is absolutely unstoppable
Default

Actually Steve has written a bit on the subject:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/ask-steve-sex/

"Sex can be a wonderful vehicle for personal growth, especially in a long-term relationship. Sure it feels good too, but the long-term benefit is that sex can reveal emotional blocks you still need to work through. Your deepest emotional issues will surface during sex, including low self-esteem, fear of inadequacy, or a poor relationship with your body. How you view sex is indicative of your larger life as well. Empty and meaningless sex life? You probably don’t see much meaning in your life yet. Confusing or frustrating sex life? Confusing or frustrating life. Rewarding and fulfilling sex life? Your life is probably the same. Your recent sexual experiences, when examined consciously, can point you in the direction of breakthrough emotional growth."

I find the possibilities he discusses later in the article particularly interesting.
openeyes is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2007, 11:04 AM   #6 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,123
songwriter is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by openeyes View Post
Actually Steve has written a bit on the subject:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/ask-steve-sex/

"Sex can be a wonderful vehicle for personal growth, especially in a long-term relationship. Sure it feels good too, but the long-term benefit is that sex can reveal emotional blocks you still need to work through. Your deepest emotional issues will surface during sex, including low self-esteem, fear of inadequacy, or a poor relationship with your body. How you view sex is indicative of your larger life as well. Empty and meaningless sex life? You probably don’t see much meaning in your life yet. Confusing or frustrating sex life? Confusing or frustrating life. Rewarding and fulfilling sex life? Your life is probably the same. Your recent sexual experiences, when examined consciously, can point you in the direction of breakthrough emotional growth."

I find the possibilities he discusses later in the article particularly interesting.

Yes, I remember that.
I belong to "empty sex life" so I guess I don't see much meaning in my life yet. mmm...
songwriter is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2007, 12:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 12
weissichnichtwohin is on a distinguished road
Default

thanks guys.
I have just read the article.
steve didnt tell us what can we do when we have no wives. I d btter figuer it out myself.
weissichnichtwohin is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2007, 12:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: New Hampshire, USA
Posts: 52
Victoria is on a distinguished road
Default

I think he was referring to any long-term, caring relationship. I do like Steve's ideas on the subject; regardless of your religous or spiritual leanings, it can't be denied that sex involves emotions, whatever they may be.
Victoria is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2007, 12:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,437
yossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond reputeyossarian has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Chui View Post
Step 1: Decide for yourself what is right. Don't ask someone else to give you morals.
don't tell me what to do!
yossarian is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2007, 08:37 AM   #10 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 3,977
Michael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud of
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yossarian View Post
don't tell me what to do!
I tell you now: do as I command ye to not do. Don't listen to me. Hey look, it's Godel.
Michael Chui is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2007, 10:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Auckland NZ
Posts: 375
Lallymac is on a distinguished road
Default

I feel quite sad when I hear of people feeling guilty about self pleasuring (masturbation). Our sexuality is as much a part of us as all our other desires and needs. Exploring and loving ones self is healthy and normal especially when you are single. Self pleasuring keeps the feelings we'd like to share with another alive and well. Knowing ourselves and what gives us pleasure, adds to both partners sexual enjoyment in the next relationship rather than detracting.
I feel suppressing our normal natural urges is potentially more damaging than enjoying that part of ourselves. Sexual pleasure/release in a relationship or on your own, can enhance your sense of well being.
Within healthy relationships, sexuality encompasses multiple aspects self expression. The more of ourselves we can bring into a relationship and openly share with a partner, the more we learn and grow.
Lallymac

Last edited by Lallymac; 03-11-2007 at 10:02 AM.
Lallymac is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2007, 04:22 PM   #12 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,123
songwriter is on a distinguished road
Default

I think that sex and love are the cause of it all. The "why" behind everything. The libido as Jung said... the source of motivation. That's why I think it is veeery important to talk about it.
songwriter is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2007, 09:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 145
moviestar is on a distinguished road
Default

Why do you want to stop masturbating? Do you know any woman that knows how to give you pleasure more than yourself?
moviestar is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2007, 12:33 AM   #14 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Auckland NZ
Posts: 375
Lallymac is on a distinguished road
Default

Imagine if you did meet such a woman. You could add that intention to your IM list. I have a single friend who has designed and built two homes for himself. I've asked him if he's allowed for someone elses design ideas to be included, or even imagined meeting a lady who could share and enhance his ideas. His response has been 'but it's my house.' This man still lives alone and gets quite depressed that he still hasn't met anyone.
Lallymac
Lallymac is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 02:27 AM   #15 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,123
songwriter is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Chui View Post
Step 1: Decide for yourself what is right. Don't ask someone else to give you morals.

Step 2: Implement your decisions. Start, or continue, doing what is right. Stop, or avoid, doing what is wrong.

Endnote: I'm pretty sure Steve has sex. That's the most likely place his children came from.

That's great.
But...
Step 1: I've already decided what's right no matter what anyone says.
Step 2: It doesn't work for me. So only the things I do not want would work for me. In Spain we say "God gives bread to the one who has no teeth..."
songwriter is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 03:20 AM   #16 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 3,977
Michael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud of
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by songwriter View Post
So only the things I do not want would work for me.
I recommend that you school your desires such that you want nothing.
Michael Chui is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 04:38 AM   #17 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 25
modern_monk is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by weissichnichtwohin View Post
As for me, who is interested in those mystic theories, I haven't had sex with a female for almost 5 years. I do mastrobate, which made me feel guilty.
It was proven that smoking, drinking when feeling negative emotions is damaging
if you do have sex anyway, even if it is a self-sex, maybe better enjoy it
(alone or with a partner) in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way - lol

Celibacy is good if it is not trying to avoid other gender
aha, I think you do not feel guilty but your genes that would like to multiplicate get unhappy of missed chance

Quote:
I want to quit mastrubating, but it is hard.
try your best, you are only a human, a young human being
modern_monk is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 11:35 AM   #18 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,123
songwriter is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Chui View Post
I recommend that you school your desires such that you want nothing.
mmm... if I want nothing... why wake up from the bed???... we need goals I think. Maybe I should try in ways I don't want, like polarizing... mmm...
songwriter is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 01:32 PM   #19 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 9,613
Acting Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond reputeActing Like Godot has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by weissichnichtwohin View Post
You know, in some mystic oriental theories, keep varginity is essential to achive some special abilities, such as "superior master of kungfu", and also higer "spirit level".
Actually the kungfu masters also have sex. It's just that they stop short of ejaculating.

Quote:
I do mastrobate, which made me feel guilty.
Ummm, in the mystic oriential theories, masturbating is definitely a poor substitute for sex. You won't be balancing your yang energy with yin; you'll just be losing yang energy in return for nothing.

And the guilt part is ....... a little old-fashioned, I have to say.

Quote:
sorry my english is poor, but i do want to know , as a person of higher consciousness, what should his view be on sex.
Osho was a big advocate of tantric sex.
Acting Like Godot is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 10:37 PM   #20 (permalink)
Family Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 3,977
Michael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud ofMichael Chui has much to be proud of
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by songwriter View Post
mmm... if I want nothing... why wake up from the bed???... we need goals I think. Maybe I should try in ways I don't want, like polarizing... mmm...
Because then everything would work for you, no?
Michael Chui is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT. The time now is 07:13 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.1.0
Copyright © 2010 by Pavlina LLC