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07-05-2010, 05:05 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 31
 |  how to be in a relationship without sex?
hey guys I am new here. is it possible to be close to a girl without sex? because I plan to have sex until marriage ( I just decided to do so) but finding the right girl that would wait with me is very rare, maybe in my town. I kind of get lonely when I see most of my friends have girlfriends and I don't. That makes me depressed and very desperate for a girlfriends yet I don't trust myself with a girl alone I have a high sexual activity ( if I have sex before marriage it would go against what I believe in). I want to spend my life with only one girl because in my opinion having multiple x girlfriends makes the last one you marry not as special. I think when having sex for the first time with that one girl you think is the one keeps the marriage and intimacy pretty much alive and healthy for decades. what do you think? Is there a way? I am kind of in the middle of this inner mind conflict. |
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07-05-2010, 05:50 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Retired Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: A Greyhound Station where I set my thoughts to far off destinations...
Posts: 4,380
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First of all, it's totally possible. I've done it, and I know many who prefer it. Although, you might want to examine your beliefs about *why* you don't want to have sex. |
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07-05-2010, 05:57 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,829
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Why do you believe having multiple ex-girlfriends is bad for trying to get married? | |
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07-05-2010, 06:03 PM
| #4 (permalink) | ||||
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Sitting by the fire at the Inn of the Last Home
Posts: 5,799
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And also - So you're planning to use sex to keep your relationship together? That sounds like a shaky foundation for an lifetime commitment, to me. Quote:
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07-05-2010, 06:27 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: France
Posts: 6,053
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Imagine you would declare you want to fly to the Moon and you only would hang out with people who have the same goal. Do you think it is possible to fly to the Moon? Yes, it is. Do you think you will find many people doing this? I don't think so. You are in a kind of a similar situation If your goal is important to you and you are ready to be patient and integer, then I think it is possible. And who knows, maybe one day you'll write a book about this experience of yours |
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07-05-2010, 08:02 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 459
| Quote:
I was in your situation before I met my boyfriend and my answer to you is a definite yes! I am waiting for marriage and even though my boyfriend of 5 years isn't waiting he's willing to wait because I am! He just loves me enough to realise that this is something important to me. The one piece of advicxe aI would give to you is that as someone with such a strong belief you would maybe need to figure out all the reasons why. As everyone else said. This would help you to understand it more and for your future partner to understand your reason for choosing this belief.Stay strong! It's not so difficult... well it is ! But you can have the will power to stay strong! And intimacy doesn't have to involve sex  | |
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07-05-2010, 08:25 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 312
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You're creating a lot of problems for yourself. Have sex and you won't regret it. Don't have sex and you will regret it. A relationship isn't complete without sex. You see, if what you believe in would be ok you wouldn't ask this question in a forum. You ADMIT you have a problem. Get rid of the PROBLEM. |
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07-05-2010, 08:33 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: UK
Posts: 1,098
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a) if it is religion-based, find somone with the same religion and the same degree of religiousness. And then marry ASAP so you don't have to wait so long b) I think you need to be sexually compatible to some degree. If you wait until married to find out that is up to you. But if I imagine that I would have married the woman I had my worst sex with, OMG! c) Personally, I would not put sex so much on a pedestal. It is really not a big deal at all. I am sure there are a few people who wait until marriage, but realistically everybody is just full of ****, and if you take someones word for it, you may be the one who is missing out on it, while everyone else is screwing around (well, we know by now that catholic priests are not celibate  and many women who claim to keep their virginity just have loads of anal and oral sex (yes, I know some personally. Islamic women in my country for example).
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07-09-2010, 08:12 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Sitting by the fire at the Inn of the Last Home
Posts: 5,799
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07-09-2010, 08:43 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: UK
Posts: 1,098
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07-09-2010, 09:03 PM
| #15 (permalink) | ||
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Sitting by the fire at the Inn of the Last Home
Posts: 5,799
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07-09-2010, 09:15 PM
| #16 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Mexico City
Posts: 11,168
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You can have marriage and polygamy. You can have sex and monogamy. You can have sex and marriage (although that one seems to be rare ).I am not monogamous. But I applaud everybody who makes a CONSCIOUS choice about the type of relationship they want, and follow through with it. I don't care what it is, as long as it is a conscious choice and not something: because the neighbors do it, because mommy and daddy say it, because this is how it is supposed to be... | |
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