I talk too quietly

[SAE]

I've fallen into a habit speaking really quietly and get told too often that I can't be heard. This isn't something I do consciously, I do it by default, I have to be told to talk louder to become aware of my volume. I don't know what's caused me to do this or how I to stop it.

At first I thought it was only when I meet new people, but now I'm noticing people I've known for a long time having difficulty understanding me.

Any suggestions would be appreciated

[Angela]

Talk louder.

[SAE]

Originally Posted by Angela

Talk louder.

I wish it were as easy as that.
As I said - by default - I don't talk loud enough. So any effort to speak louder will eventually fade away until I'm reminded again

[MidasGirl]

Are you like this in all situations? For example, when you're at home, relaxed talking to your parents or siblings or very close friends you're very comfortable with, are you still this way?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by SAE

I wish it were as easy as that.
As I said - by default - I don't talk loud enough. So any effort to speak louder will eventually fade away until I'm reminded again

So reprogram your default. Get in the habit to remind yourself to speak louder.

Take 100% responsibility -- be at cause in the matter.

[brendannz]

Is it because you're not comfortable?

[SAE]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Are you like this in all situations? For example, when you're at home, relaxed talking to your parents or siblings or very close friends you're very comfortable with, are you still this way?

I don't think I am but then I get asked to speak up.

Thanks Angela, that's motivating

[SAE]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Is it because you're not comfortable?

Yes, partly. When I'm uncomfortable I find it hard to speak louder even if I know I'm quiet

[Angela]

Originally Posted by SAE

Thanks Angela, that's motivating

You didn't say you were looking for motivation to speak louder here. I figured if you're motivated enough to post a thread, then you already have the motivation to solve your problem.

Is that what you want, more motivation before you are ready to make a change?

[st33med]

Just start yelling

When people start to tell you to pipe down, start to quiet a little bit until they are comfortable with your voice. Make that a habit

[MusicalMatt]

I suggest just keeping a small part of your mind focused on your vocal volume as often as possible. Self-monitoring helps me a lot when I'm trying to change/start a subtle habit, though it definitely takes some self-discipline and motivation (as Angela said).

[Gabo]

If you're finding it difficult to remind yourself to speak louder, you can also recruit close friends to help you out. Ask them to remind you whenever you're not speaking loud enough. The more reminding that gets done, the quicker you can change your default vocal level.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by SAE

I don't think I am but then I get asked to speak up.

Well, there's two possibilities here. Either you're just a person that naturally just doesn't speak loud enough, in which case you really just need to start consciously practicing to.

Or

You're nervous in social situations. I used to have this problem, where any time I'd be talking to a group of new people, my voice would crack, become very low and almost inaudible. And people would constantly be asking me to speak up. It used to bug me to no end, but it also seemed to "just happen", like it was outside of my control. I don't know how I changed this, seriously, but I realize it changed as I took on more roles where I'd be forced to speak to groups of people. Leading meetings for example, where you're on the spot and are being scrutinized. I just became comfortable with it after I realized nobody was actually going to shoot me if I made mistakes. In fact, people started to look up to me and anticipate what I was going to say.

Anyway, a good place to start might be Toastmasters.

[SAE]

Originally Posted by Angela

Is that what you want, more motivation before you are ready to make a change?

It just made me want to put more effort behind a change.

Originally Posted by st33med

Just start yelling

When people start to tell you to pipe down, start to quiet a little bit until they are comfortable with your voice. Make that a habit

I think this could work. It's basically swapping everything around, I like it, and I'm going to do it, thank you!

[Angela]

You might want to find someone to model, too .... enlist one of your boisterous friends in the exercise of walking around town, him/her speaking loudly, and you matching their volume and intensity. Make it a game, have fun with it! Do it in a part of town where no one knows you if you're feeling too shy, or out in the wilderness where no one will hear you scream.

Think of it as "warming up" -- the way a singer warms up his voice.

It's also a gift you give others, you know, when you fully express yourself and are heard the way you want to be heard. It's a bit difficult for others when you're being stingy with your voice.

[JMononoetoe]

Sorry for this horribly long post XD

I kinda know how you feel Others have often pointed out to me that I speak rather softly, although I am improving. I am studying to become a teacher, so this is definitely something I'm working on. I've been told that I sound rather nasal and I'm having a little trouble with talking louder. I've had several lessons of speech and language pathology from my uncle, and I must say that it's really interesting.

The voice is a really complicated instrument that is influenced by not only what you do physically, but also by your emotional state. For now, let's focus on the physical part..

I actually have a question for you first. When you try to talk louder, are you straining yourself? Try to talk loud, or yell. Do you notice any tension in your body when you do that? Really pay attention to that tension and determine where it's coming from. Becoming aware of the "problem" is the first step towards improvement.

When done correctly, talking louder is not done by force. It is rather done by allowing every little bit of you to resonate. Have you ever noticed how some people's voices are really "big"? This is the product of resonation and projection.

My mind is a little scattered at the moment, so you'll have to excuse my chaotic writing.

Like I said, the production of the voice is really complicated. However, it all starts with correct breathing. If you don't breathe correctly, you'll have a hard time producing sound! A lot of people breathe only with their chest. This superficial breathing doesn't allow for a lot of air to get into the lungs, and this air is the very substance that makes your vocal cords vibrate. So how should you breathe? The preferred method of breathing is the method where you lower your diaphragm, which expands your belly. As you then let your lungs fill with air, let your chest rise as well, but don't tense up! Just work with the physical system and allow it to happen.

When you're breathing out, don't just let all the air go. You're going to need breath support, something which actually is taught when you learn about singing. However, it's a great mechanism which allows you to use your breath more efficiently. A good exercise to do is to breathe in, and then make a "sshhh" sound for as long as you can. Eric Arceneaux has a pretty good video on this subject! (link)

I'm not gonna be able to cover everything, mainly because I'm learning about it myself as well, and because this subject is simply huge! I'll try to cover a little bit about resonating as well...

When you try to speak, are you trying to project your voice outwards? Try it a couple of times and notice what you feel. Mainly pay attention to where your voice seems to be resonating. Perhaps your voice is only resonating in your mouth? Maybe even only in the front part of your mouth? Alright, whatever you feel, be aware of that. Now, our goal is to expand that resonation all the way back into the body. We want to make our whole body resonate. This is something that takes practice, however, and I think you might be in better hands with a real teacher.

I'll try to explain something you can do though. It takes some visualization and (more importantly) zero muscle tension. When you speak, instead of projecting your voice outwards, try allowing your voice to project inwards. This shouldn't make you tense up, just allow it to happen. For the sake of practice, try doing this with the "Ah" sound. Sing the "Ah" sound on a pitch which is comfortable for you, and try imagining letting the resonation go inwards. Relax, and let more of your oral cavity vibrate, and let the vibration go inwards, so your throat, your chest and perhaps even your belly will vibrate. Very imporant in this exercise is to relax and let go of muscle tension. This is where I can't help you, but a qualified teacher could! Also, try imagining that every bit of your body is taking in the vibration.

Also, you could try this same exercise while covering your mouth. This worked wonders for me.

I'm gonna end this post with something about conditioning. I have a little trouble with speaking louder because I think I'll sound like I'm screaming or something. This is because I'm not used to speaking louder. This is where you need a talking partner. Tell him or her to pay attention to your vocal volume, and see how they react. Dare to experiment with your voice. Speak a little louder, and do it frequently. By repetition, you'll reprogram yourself and your expectations. Feedback from others reinforces this programming even further and allows yourself to adjust. Remember, mistakes aren't bad! Mistakes are made to discover points on which you can improve!

I hope this post made some kind of sense. I just typed this and I actually have no idea if this is helpful or not Anyway... Try some singing exercises, often they'll help. Working on your breathing is crucial, and allowing the vibration to take over your body is just as important. And never, ever, strain your voice.

[TonyToneTone]

Video tape or audio record yourself talking. Then talk louder, then louder, then shout, and see where it sounds good. You could also try Toastmaster's Toastmasters International - Home, they'll help you out.

[Nightfall]

Socialize while at a dance club... all night. The next day you'll be talking louder.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by SAE

Yes, partly. When I'm uncomfortable I find it hard to speak louder even if I know I'm quiet

Remind yourself before you speak or when you're about to enter into a social situation "I speak clearly and confidently"

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Nightfall

Socialize while at a dance club... all night. The next day you'll be talking louder.

This made me laugh. It should work.

[SAE]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

You're nervous in social situations.

It's probably this. Thank you for sharing your story, I feel understood

Originally Posted by Angela

You might want to find someone to model, too .... enlist one of your boisterous friends in the exercise of walking around town, him/her speaking loudly, and you matching their volume and intensity. Make it a game, have fun with it!

I did this and it worked great. It also helped me realise (what MidasGirl said) that 'nobody was going to shoot me' if I make a mistake

Originally Posted by JMononoetoe

[i]I kinda know how you feel Others have often pointed out to me that I speak rather softly, although I am improving. I am studying to become a teacher, so this is definitely something I'm working on.

It's great to know I'm not the only one. I've found that it's more of a social thing as after I completed some of the suggestions in this thread I found that it wasn't much effort at all. It almost came naturally as I became more comfortable I actually believed that my voice matched other people's vocal volumes so nobody really sounds 'big'.

Thanks guys you've been a great help, I appreciate it a lot

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by SAE

It's probably this. Thank you for sharing your story, I feel understood

I'm glad you do. It's an adrenaline dump that happens, so it's an automatic response -- your larynx tightening is nothing you can do anything about other than managing the cause in the first place. Different bodies react differently to social nervousness -- one time we had a simple talent performance at our church, and when it was this guy's turn to perform (guitar and song) he began to sweat so profusely, his hands shaking so tremendously that it was all anyone could do to even look at him. But his voice was perfect.

I suspected yours wasn't merely that you're naturally that way. Just continue doing the modeling, but most importantly, figure out a way to let go of the fear in social situations. There's probably an incident(s) that happened when you were very young, where you told yourself that speaking up meant humiliation and/or shame. You'll have to go back and undo that.

I'm not even totally there, but I'm comfortable with shame now, so whatever.

[JMononoetoe]

Originally Posted by SAE

I've found that it's more of a social thing as after I completed some of the suggestions in this thread I found that it wasn't much effort at all. It almost came naturally as I became more comfortable

That's a great discovery! It shouldn't take much effort, indeed. It takes more allowing than it takes force

Thanks guys you've been a great help, I appreciate it a lot

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