Rejection hurts my soul

[Throwback24]

Every time my attempts to woo a women fail I feel miserable and worthless. I understand not everyone will like me but how do I stop obsessing over it? My mind keeps wandering back there, it's as if my brain is programmed this way. I only obsess over failures and rejections and it really hurts.

[brendannz]

Maybe because you see rejection as failure, rather than what it is?

[IEvo]

As brendannz said, this is usually caused by viewing rejection as failure. Being rejected by a woman you like is not synonymous with failing.

It took me a long time to sort this out, and for a long time I had the very same but when you're dating someone or asking someone out on a date, this is as much a pruning process for you as it is for them. If they reject you, this is a good thing.

Why? Because now you have just saved yourself potentially years worth of time that you might have otherwise wasted. If someone rejects you, they are just not that interested. That sucks when you first think about it, but if you really think about it, that's okay.

There are over six billion people on the planet right now. I know it sounds cliche, but there are plenty of more fish in the sea. Everytime you are rejected, you've just saved yourself the time of a relationship that would not have worked out anyway. If your prospective mate is not that interested to begin with, you can bet that the relationship is not going to pan out in the long run.

Think of rejection as beneficial to you. Think of it as a time saver, and know that you won't have missed any opportunities through being rejected; rather, you have opened yourself to a whole slew of new opportunities. Those who say yes are the ones that matter.

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Throwback24

Every time my attempts to woo a women fail I feel miserable and worthless. I understand not everyone will like me but how do I stop obsessing over it? My mind keeps wandering back there, it's as if my brain is programmed this way. I only obsess over failures and rejections and it really hurts.

Detach from the situation. Don't put your heart into it until you know you've gotten her. I see a lot of guys doing what you do when first starting out. It's a way to easily get your heart crushed.

Also understand that she's not rejecting you, she's rejecting your offer (taken from Neil Strauss' The Game). If you offer me a piece of gum and I say no, did I reject you or the gum? The woman most likely doesn't know how awesome you are, so she's just rejecting your offer. You can try a different approach, change some things about yourself, or move onto the next one.