Very emotionally sensitive and clueless

[srikant]

Hey i wanted to seek out opinions of guys like 180, james and others on this. Dudes, Whenever i start forming deep friendship with a girl, I start falling in love pretty fast. There was this girl whose every interest matched mine and even she acknowledged sometimes that we were soulmates. I fell for her head over heels and used to buy her presents, and trying every way to surprise her. Everything was perfectly fine until i learnt from a mutual friend that she thought of me as weird sending too many gifts and termed it as "wierd". Also she said to the mutual friend that she liked all the attention. This broke my fragile heart. Even if she had rejected me i could have accepted it. But faking it all the while and behind those I love you's there must not have been any feeling. The trust that took months to build was destroyed in an instant

Now i am kinda in a self pity zone. I cant get over those beautiful memories we had. Even though she has tried to contact me so many times, i have cut her off completely because now what is the point. I cant blame her for anything. She is clueless as to what is happening. I find it easier to accept the fact that it was all a stupid trick of fate on me rather than point fingers at her which would yield no results after all. Say, how can you get the strength to trust a person after all this.

Anyways guys what i wanted to ask is Why do i always end up being in the friend zone. What can i do to lead instead of following the girl's responses. What in general girls like in guys and how can i develop those qualities. I hope you guys get that i am quite sensitive and some of the things like machoness that comes easily to other guys doesnt come to me.I am quite confident in all other areas of life, Hell i am a topper in academics, music, writing . But i am so clueless when it comes to relationships. Please help me out

Regards,

Srikant

[Angelique]

Not a guy..and I'm not any of the guys you mentioned...but I have been clueless in my relationships before.

Twice, in a good relationship, I was told by two different girls that my guy was looking to cheat. I was totally devastated. It wasn't until my friend talked me down and had me question the sources of that information that I actually 'woke up' a little and wondered what their motives were for telling me were. I chose to trust my former guy based on logic and gut feelings. It just didn't add up that he would do that.

On that note, I wanted to point out that you might consider whether the person giving you the information might have any other motives to consider. Also, maybe you don't want to talk to her at all, but doing that might help you feel your way forward so you can know for future reference. If you feel you've already failed in the relationship then at least you can learn about social cues you might of missed.

Just a few thoughts. I hope you feel better soon.

[180]

Friend zone sucks.

Women's friends and lovers usually are totally different spheres. What seems to make it more paradoxical is that women say they want a husband that is their best friend... but it doesn't really work that way. In my own experience, the more you ignore her the more likely she wants you. But not OUTRIGHT "I'm treating you like ****". More like, totally ignoring her and her needs. This situation creates tension... I'll get more into later.
but first,

I've been called "soul mates" by women as well but more often than not they are looking for more friendship relationships but not romantic ones. I remember I met a woman in a club. (Hell she texted me yesterday saying she misses me bleh) She said "I think we're soul mates". And the more and more I talked to her the more I realize she just wants to be friends. She throws a lot of hints that could be interpreted as sexual. But it's not. We dance dirty (Grind on crotch), we flirt... but I KNOW all these are friendship signs. If it were any other guy, they probably would have tried to taken her to a motel and get shot down. How can I know? I understand her psyche. The girl doesn't have much friends. She'll do anything to have a friend. She doesn't want sex from me (Which is also a mystery to me lol). She wants a relationship.

How can I know? It's kind of biological thing that most people don't understand. Women desire men sexually if they perceive he has a survival value that he only shares with his girlfriend.

Women won't admit this, because they aren't aware of this. But women value what is scare and fight to have it. So WHATEVER she perceives to have value is the way to her heart. (Sounds manipulative? Only because we grew up with disney fairy tale fantasies, I hate to break it out but we grow up believing love to be something. But it's Hollywood that makes us believe it. Love is way different than we think and I think 50% divorce rate is adequate proof of that)

Take for example, why men with money are with the most beautiful women. Why? Money is a resource, and IT has the ability to buy things. Things that make her safe and her children safe. Women like strong bodies why? It means you can protect her and her children from harm. Women like intelligent men why? It means he can solve problems. Women like humorous men why? They have social ability and can get things through friends.

THIS excites her romantically. Why? Because he's the only one who can keep her safe. This translate to her survival and her children's survival. This is why fairy tales feature Knights in shinning armor motifs. A woman really desires a man who keeps her and her children safe. Access to scarer resources ensures this.

Look if a woman can have you as a friend, why the hell would she want us as a boyfriend? YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING that she can only have by being your girlfriend. This gives you value and her desire to get that value from you. Through her vagina (jeez that was kind of blunt). As wrong as it sounds, it's the truth. Her desire for you is measured by how well you can meet her needs. If she perceives a man who can do everything for her (But only through sex) she will use sex to grab that man. But if she knows a man who will do everything for her... and does so easily??? what reason does she need to use sex? He's already giving her everything. The value of him goes down. The value of EVERYTHING goes down.

There are several mechanisms that trigger a woman's sexual attraction for a man. Most of them include possession of a scare resource. I've seen women FIGHT physically and sexually (through flirting) for whatever they percieve as belonging to another woman. This is female competition at it's finest. I remember two girls fighting over me in a club. What an ego boost! CATTY SLAPPING! I remember two girls flirting with me at the same time for attention. And I remember I was interested in another less pretty girl, the other girl went insane and tried to rape me (Which btw. succeeded). This happens because females compete for scare resources, including men. Women are insanely jealous. It's a psychological mechanism to protect resources and to get MORE resources.

The way she sees it, you like her, you're her friend and you'll keep being her friend. You are not scare enough resource for her. She can elicit her value from you without creating a relationship. SO she doesn't need to make you her girlfriend.

This probably blows your mind and any idea of what you had of a real relationship. We usually learn about relationships in this .... "Mickey Mouse" kind of way. We love and care for someone similar to use. Become best friends... BAAM marriage. Nope.

No, love and attraction is about survival. We are still animals to our core and we maximize our survival in anyway necessary. There are still psychological mechanisms from ancient years that still work on women. PUA have picked these up and thats why they get laid.

As I've said before, the rubix cube of women... it's so asinine but logical at the same time.

So what to do. Most likely you are a nice guy. You'll give everything to anyone. This makes you attractive, but not attractive in a way she likes.

She WANTS a man (very unconsciously) that can give her what she needs, and only to her. What does she want? Anything that is rare or valuable to her psyche. Oh god this could get long to talk about but let me briefly talk.

Each woman has a different personality. A way of survival if it were... Some women think being beautiful is the way to survive, some women think it's money, some women think it's love... etc etc.

They all have different strategies and one THEY think is it. So a woman admires a man who has some special ability to do those things. If he's handsome or charming, he increased his chances of surviving among other people. etc etc...

1) Make yourself a scare resource. Be the only man who plays guitar. Who knows jujitsu. hell, I knew a guy who was popular because he could palm read... actually PUA advocates that crap too. palm read... jesus...

2) Find out what her pathological tendencies are. Most women won't say it outright, because they don't know it. But women have insecurities. They don't feel psychically safe if they are small (so they are attracted to muscular and taller guys) OR, maybe they are afraid of people and social things (so being charming and popular is very attractive)

3) Work on yourself as being a "King". Women love kings. The entire idea of being a king is like... a woman who looks like Jessica alba. Every woman wants a man that everyone will say "WHOOOOOAAA How did you bag that guy???" What does that mean? Responsible, father like figure. Holding a lot of status, power and security. Being capable and popular. Basically, everything good.

Confidence is also always attractive

Getting out of nice guy: BE SELFISH. Not selfish in the way that you kill everyone and step on people to get what you want. But be selfish in the sense that you can have everything. You can get everything. And develop those abilities. Ambition is something all women look for. A man who will try to have it all and a man who has the ability to have it all. Don't GIVE if you don't have to give.

Look she's weirded out because you are rewarding her for nothing. Frankly speaking... it's weird. I once had a student buy me gifts (She's older than me by the way). I just kind of looked and was like... "oh... thanks?". Why am I getting this gift? I didn't do anything to deserve it...

Gift giving is a sign of neediness. Like I'm doing this for you because I want something from you. It's kind of creepy. We learn to do this from movies AND it's an intinct built in men from neanderthal ages. Men would offer "meat" or game to a woman they wanted to mate with.

At that time, a woman would have loved a gift of meat, she stayed in the village starving and a man gives her somethign she needs. She falls in love with him (NOTICE:A MAN GIVES HER SOMETHING SHE NEEDS HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM) But these days, give her something useless she doesn't need she'll only perceive that as weird. Imagine if that same Neanderthal gave her a stick... with leaves. she doesn't need that.

Find out her needs, deliver it. She falls in love with you.

I'll tell you a short story about a guy I knew who fell in love with a girl. Why? The guy sneezed. So the girl gave him a tissue. BAAM love. WTF you may be wondering. But I know many many many other similar stories like this.

You're her friend, maybe you know what she needs. be the man who can deliver it, and be a scarce resource. So maybe she money is the way to survive. Share with her that you are writing a book, inventing a machine, or applying to harvard. And then make yourself scare. Find other girls who like you. Go away with them. DOn't spend a lot of time with her. Tell her you're busy. Be DEMANDED by other girls. this shows her, guess what... you're a one day sale, you don't buy today, tomorrow some other girl is going to pick you up.

I gotta go. I'll return

[Angelique]

Wow, 180! That was interesting to read.

What about the women who aren't into the concept of soul mates? And give up if the guy doesn't seem interested and don't care to fight for the scarce resources? And feel good about sex without attachment?

Got anything on them? (This is not sarcasm. I'm seriously curious.)

[180]

Originally Posted by Angelique

Wow, 180! That was interesting to read.

What about the women who aren't into the concept of soul mates? And give up if the guy doesn't seem interested and don't care to fight for the scarce resources? And feel good about sex without attachment?

Got anything on them? (This is not sarcasm. I'm seriously curious.)

Well, actually a lot of women without needs tend to be 10 out of 10 for me. They are harder to grab though because they... don't need anything. They would depend on their feelings to choose a guy. And in that case, those relationships works out well.

The sex without attachment though somewhat means that they won't be able to hold down a guy as well. What happens when a girl gives it up too early is that the guy feels he's already conquered her. And if he isn't starved on sex he will bore of her easily. HOWEVER, a man starved on sex will find her attractive and continuously pursue her... but uh, you really wouldn't want a man like that.

For a man, he likes a woman as a long term that is chaste. But in the short term wants a no strings attached sexual relationship. It's the madonna-whore complex.

[180]

I will add one more thing to the original post.

OP

Confidence with women comes from knowing... well, you're better than them. As terrible as that sounds. It's true.

I can't tell you how many times I THOUGHT an attractive woman was better than me JUST because she was beautiful. And that's a pretty common thought for a man.

But it's probably the most illogical one. Why is a beautiful woman better than me? Where does this low confidence come from?

We think we are unworthy because of our raising. Our social conditioning. Since a child we are always told how wrong we are. How bad we are. We also have this image of what a "good" person is. Guess what? We don't match that "good" image. Why? It's freaking impossible.

Look at a gorgeous woman. What kind of man you think she deserves? A man who's rich, handsome, good character, loyal, intelligent, and funny?

Guess what? That man is NON-EXISTENT. Most women think such men exist, and so do most guys. And we all think that this man is worthy of that girl. But not us. So we lose confidence. It's a subconscious decision our minds make.

All of us think of some perfect match (even me) but it's actually a huge fallacy and worse it disrupts our thinking. We grow up with movies, childhood stories, of knights and princesses, and we get into our head what a future mate should be.

Ok so anyways, if you want confidence with women, understand that she is not better than you.

I've had creepy, ugly, and scary chicks follow me. (Unfortunately I didn't handle them well and broke their heart... I regret that) But with all of them I KNEW I was better than them. And THEY knew it as well so they tried to catch me in some way.

No one is better than someone else, but we do PERCEIVE it that way. And with such perception it's possible to be more confident.

I can write more about confidence but you'll have to buy my book. I'm spilling my guts out and not charging a dime... -_-... hmm my book.

[munish]

Originally Posted by srikant

Hey i wanted to seek out opinions of guys like 180, james and others on this. Dudes, Whenever i start forming deep friendship with a girl, I start falling in love pretty fast. There was this girl whose every interest matched mine and even she acknowledged sometimes that we were soulmates. I fell for her head over heels and used to buy her presents, and trying every way to surprise her. Everything was perfectly fine until i learnt from a mutual friend that she thought of me as weird sending too many gifts and termed it as "wierd". Also she said to the mutual friend that she liked all the attention. This broke my fragile heart. Even if she had rejected me i could have accepted it. But faking it all the while and behind those I love you's there must not have been any feeling. The trust that took months to build was destroyed in an instant

Now i am kinda in a self pity zone. I cant get over those beautiful memories we had. Even though she has tried to contact me so many times, i have cut her off completely because now what is the point. I cant blame her for anything. She is clueless as to what is happening. I find it easier to accept the fact that it was all a stupid trick of fate on me rather than point fingers at her which would yield no results after all. Say, how can you get the strength to trust a person after all this.

Anyways guys what i wanted to ask is Why do i always end up being in the friend zone. What can i do to lead instead of following the girl's responses. What in general girls like in guys and how can i develop those qualities. I hope you guys get that i am quite sensitive and some of the things like machoness that comes easily to other guys doesnt come to me.I am quite confident in all other areas of life, Hell i am a topper in academics, music, writing . But i am so clueless when it comes to relationships. Please help me out

Regards,

Srikant

I have a cd on this topic by Vin Di Carlo."Fu*%$k the friend zone!"

You may check online there are many experts on this topic.

Some free material may also be available.

Even David D Angelo(Steve Recommends him) has Sexual Communication. ( About how to prevent a girl from Flaking on you.)

[MonkeyFace]

Originally Posted by srikant

Hey i wanted to seek out opinions of guys like 180, james and others on this. Dudes, Whenever i start forming deep friendship with a girl, I start falling in love pretty fast. There was this girl whose every interest matched mine and even she acknowledged sometimes that we were soulmates. I fell for her head over heels and used to buy her presents, and trying every way to surprise her. Everything was perfectly fine until i learnt from a mutual friend that she thought of me as weird sending too many gifts and termed it as "wierd". Also she said to the mutual friend that she liked all the attention. This broke my fragile heart. Even if she had rejected me i could have accepted it. But faking it all the while and behind those I love you's there must not have been any feeling. The trust that took months to build was destroyed in an instant

Now i am kinda in a self pity zone. I cant get over those beautiful memories we had. Even though she has tried to contact me so many times, i have cut her off completely because now what is the point. I cant blame her for anything. She is clueless as to what is happening. I find it easier to accept the fact that it was all a stupid trick of fate on me rather than point fingers at her which would yield no results after all. Say, how can you get the strength to trust a person after all this.

Anyways guys what i wanted to ask is Why do i always end up being in the friend zone. What can i do to lead instead of following the girl's responses. What in general girls like in guys and how can i develop those qualities. I hope you guys get that i am quite sensitive and some of the things like machoness that comes easily to other guys doesnt come to me.I am quite confident in all other areas of life, Hell i am a topper in academics, music, writing . But i am so clueless when it comes to relationships. Please help me out

Regards,

Srikant

I know how you feel... I was like this until last Feb.

Then I took a couple of weeks of building up my self esteem and just taking the time to really love and appreciate myself for who I was and what I had to offer the world (and girls, obviously ). In march, I recieved my first girlfriend, and we went out for 8 months. You just gotta love yourself!

[ArthurHung]

Originally Posted by srikant

Hell i am a topper in academics, music, writing . But i am so clueless when it comes to relationships.

You are clueless because you feel it's different. It's all the same man.

Like, academics, you just do it. Relationships, you just do it.

You don't need "techniques" or "beliefs in your head" about superiority or comparisons. If it feels right, say whatever, or do whatever. You don't need to think about it.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by srikant

Everything was perfectly fine until i learnt from a mutual friend that she thought of me as weird sending too many gifts and termed it as "wierd". Also she said to the mutual friend that she liked all the attention. This broke my fragile heart........

Now i am kinda in a self pity zone. I cant get over those beautiful memories we had. Even though she has tried to contact me so many times, i have cut her off completely because now what is the point. I cant blame her for anything. She is clueless as to what is happening. I find it easier to accept the fact that it was all a stupid trick of fate on me rather than point fingers at her which would yield no results after all. Say, how can you get the strength to trust a person after all this. Srikant

Sarikant,

How do you equate the fact that she thinks getting so many presents as 'weird', with her not genuinely liking you? Haven't you jumped the gun here?

You say you don't blame her because she doesn't know anything. I would think some serious communication is needed here. At the very least you owe her that. You've made all these assumptions based on 'hearsay'. Not fair!

You have no idea how she really feels about you because you haven't talked to her about this. She deserves a chance to explain herself. Maybe it is all about the attention, but how will you know for sure if you don't ask her? If you are clueless it's because you haven't gathered all the facts yet.

This is not about how 'girls' are, or how to get them. It's about learning to communicate in relationships.

[secondevolution]

180 speaks a lot of sense. Women are inherently attracted to power - which comes in several interpretations: Masculinity, wealth, status, experience. These are all traits that turn on the female of the species ahead of a pretty face and flat abs. Of course, women love physically attractive men, but I believe the power concept takes precedence.

It's Darwinism, people.

EDIT: It should also be noted that women want what they can't have. Why do you think girls go crazy over pop idols and movie stars and retreat into exotic romance novels? They love unobtainable fantasies and when this projects into reality they are attracted to men who present a challenge. It's a fundamental reason why girls love the bad boy image. They want to be 'the one' who tames him into boyfriend material.

[srikant]

@zhereford: no i have confirmed it now that she is a big faker and exaggerator of things. Still i am so attached with her

@180: man ur lucidity blows my mind away awesome description.So as i understand four things mainly body, money, intelligence and social circle appeals to her primal instinct for mating and survival. Does that mean you have to have the complete package and develop yourself all round to get ladies attracted to you or is it possible that you can develop one sphere very excellent and the others let nature take its course

I am fine with the three things i.e. body, money ,intelligence but this social popularity concept keeps eluding me. As an introvert i like spending time alone and not a fan of big groups. I have 4-5 close friends whom i can open up to. I know girls like a guy who is fun and the life of the party, but its impossible for me to be that way.Or is it??? I would like to hear success stories of forum members who went from being introverts to awesome extroverts. But yeah i do have a deep longing to be that guy who is the life of the group , humorous ,charming ,witty at the same time.

[srikant]

Also id like to ask how to implement that selfishness into action, getting your own needs met first instead of trying to please others. Maybe i am afraid of losing that nice guy image and being a social outcast if i truly started behaving and living the life i want

[Criseyde]

Wait... she tried to contact you repeatedly but you cut her off because you thought she didn't actually have any feelings for you? Dude? Call her?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by srikant

@zhereford: no i have confirmed it now that she is a big faker and exaggerator of things. Still i am so attached with her

You have confirmed how? By listing to gossip? By asking others? By thinking about it, very long and hard?


How about opening up, having an honest and truthful conversation with her? That way you'll know for sure. Otherwise it will still be guessing and nothing else.

[munish]

One last thing never take advice from a woman about seducing another woman, as they have no practical experience .

It will always backfire on you.

If she is a big faker, i would rather leave her alone and go for someone who is attracted to me.

This is a scarcity mentality ,to go for a woman who does not like you.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by munish

One last thing never take advice from a woman about seducing another woman, as they have no practical experience .

It will always backfire on you.

Speak for yourself. I happen to have plenty of practical experience.

Men, women, if you want to be in a relationship, if you like someone, you have to communicate with that person, not listen to gossip from everybody else!

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by srikant

What can i do to lead instead of following the girl's responses.

You can start by not completely disappearing from her life, when she says something you do is weird. Talk about reactive.

Originally Posted by srikant

Also she said to the mutual friend that she liked all the attention.

Did you expect her to not like the attention?

Originally Posted by srikant

But faking it all the while and behind those I love you's there must not have been any feeling.

Faking what? Were you in a relationship with her?

[JSB]

Thinking that something you did was weird has nothing to do with whether or not she genuinely likes you. Perhaps your behavior was unfamiliar to her ("weird" as in not something she's used to), and I'm sure she liked the attention, but she may also really like you as well.

This is someone you say you have strong feelings for, and you cut off all contact with her based on what someone else told you. You instantly assumed the worst and stopped talking to her.

She may or may not be behaving badly here (it's impossible to tell without more information), but you are generating all sorts of obstacles for yourself.

[180]

If you are after HER specifically you can develop THAT area.

For example, let's say she has a lot of girlfriends... girls are obsessed with what other girls think... MUCH MORE than what men think.

Girls getting together they talk about gossip, they talk about this or that, more than anything they want to be the center of attention. Having a famous boyfriend or a boyfriend that does something crazy gives her ammunition to talk about it with her friends and a man that's a little prestigious or creates crazy romantic stories becomes valuable to her.

So in that case, what becomes valuable to her is an overly crazy but romantic guy. A guy that creates intrigue, excitement and stories in her life.

Sounds shallow, manipulative, and not like she's really into the guy at all?
It's kind of the truth.

Think of a man as kind of like a car. You may like the car but you're more interested in what the car can do for you. Does it have a lot of mileage? Does it drive fast? Can it drive over rough terrain? Is it safe? Is it dependable? Does it look luxurious and flashy and is a status symbol?

A woman looking for a man, is like buying a car.

Now what qualities you want to develop. There are 2 strategies that men usually go after.

1) You're looking for a certain type of woman, so you develop THOSE attributes that would attract that woman. For example, if you like sweet, kind, caring,women, you might dedicate yourself to being Christian , a nice father figure and wearing Mr. Roger sweaters. If you want a woman who is ambitious and hardcore beautiful, you might want to raise the bank account by 6 digits. Sounds obvious but many men don't take the time to think about this kind of thing. As smart as I sound, I'm dumb as hell. I work on my appearance, money, and social status. What kind of women I attract? Beautiful Money grubbing shallow women who only care about status. Sometimes, the obvious doesn't seem so obvious. Men don't realize this but what you are is what you attract.

2) Developing your strengths. It is my contention from much biological and psychological research that any man can develop any area with good profeciency. It's evolution and the human brain is incredibly flexible. This includes things like personality. all of it can be changed. HOWEVER, we still have certain attributes we are innately better at. Developing your core strengths is a much easier route. For example, you might be a good dependable father figure type person. In this case, develop that strength. You will be attractive to women. It may not be the women that necessarily you want. But you'll be much more attractive and you'll find sucess easier and faster.

[srikant]

@180: thanks man your advice makes a lot of sense. Just one more thing i wanted to ask is how to go about developing one's self esteem. To really feel that you belong to this world to be a winner, that you are worthy of her or even better than her as you mentioned. Sometimes i feel i am not worthy of a really intelligent charming girl.

@others: Maybe all of this was a mirror for me to actually see that i lack in self love, that i cant accept hurt because i become too much emotionally dependent on the other person. I am trying to change myself by having less expectation of another girl i am seeing. And it is working, but its hard because i have fantasies of jack and rose type of love where both are utterly faithful and transparent to each other. I need to accept reality and like the girl for who she is. Lets see if it blossoms into love.Wish me luck

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by srikant

i have fantasies of jack and rose type of love where both are utterly faithful and transparent to each other.

You can have that. It just probably makes sense to talk to the girl about it, before you go expecting her to behave that way.

About transparent - are you thinking the girl wasn't being transparent about thinking you were weird? My guess is she probably was, and you just didn't see it. If you're giving her gifts all the time, and she thinks it's weird, she'll probably give off that vibe when you give her one. Also - suppose you asked her whether she thinks it's weird? My guess is she would say yes, transparently. I don't think she was hiding anything from you.

[180]

I find with confidence that it generally comes with not caring.
Not taking life too seriously.
It's kind of interconnected with everything. Hard to explain... sometimes my mind is too fluffy and interconnected to make it make sense linguistically.
I can give you a tip on self esteem.

Realize that everything is a game. And really really internalize it. All your actions don't matter and there are no consequences.

We're all going to die someday and none of it will matter. Life is simply a game. Like a video game. It's a realm for you to experiment and do what YOU WANT.

Life is to do what you want. You'll come to see the construct of your self worth is simply a what other people and societal values have placed on you. We don't feel worthy because they tell us that worthy is rich handsome intelligent, good boded... etc etc.

But who the hell is making the rules up? Who MADE those rules? A bunch of idiots of course. Society also thinks that shallow idiots like paris hilton should influence children.

Look, society doesn't know jack crap. Hell they don't even matter. Pretend as if god made this world FOR you. This is a private virtual reality to test you. Just visualize that you are some guy going through this private 3d virtual world. Put your life in that context.

Now imagine, if you were actually in this 3d virtual world... would you care what the 3d images said of you? Would you care of how you thought of yourself? No you should be spending more time playing around and experimenting things.

This tends to be a very attractive perspective that women like too. I've noticed a lot of girls like "plays with life". He seems really attractive on these forums (But he annoys the hell out of me... sorry guy, I'm just being honest lmao) but you got to admit, it is attractive. He doesn't take life too seriously and it seems like he sees the world as a game. Which it really is.

Your sense of "self-worth" will fade and you'll accept life as more of a game.
I can get deeper into self esteem, but you'll have to buy my book when I finish it...

[srikant]

@180: awesome man i had adopted that dream/game mentality of life somewhere back in future and it was fun.Right right, i jusst need to internalize it and its true plays with life is highly attractive to women in these forums

Im waiting for your book do release it soon

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by 180

I've noticed a lot of girls like "plays with life". He seems really attractive on these forums (But he annoys the hell out of me... sorry guy, I'm just being honest lmao) but you got to admit, it is attractive. He doesn't take life too seriously and it seems like he sees the world as a game. Which it really is.

Lmao! You're welcome to be annoyed. I don't have any problem with it.

But clearly, the attraction comes from my irresistible sexiness. *strut strut*

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

Lmao! You're welcome to be annoyed. I don't have any problem with it.

But clearly, the attraction comes from my irresistible sexiness. *strut strut*

I think one of the sexiest qualities you have, one that could be helpful for other men (and women!) to emulate if they want to be as attractive (that is, attractive to the results you want, sexually and otherwise), is that you consistently say, "No, thanks!" to the gift of other people's stinky sneakers, to use Rose of Cairo's metaphor.

You grant others the space of utter freedom to think, say, feel and do as they will, without making it mean anything about yourself that doesn't work well for you. In fact, you seem to have a special genius for turning a stinky sneaker into a glass slipper. You GLOW like Cinderella and Prince Charming, when they're making sweet, hot love in the courtyard of the castle. (Plus, you're funny; that always helps.)

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think one of the sexiest qualities you have, one that could be helpful for other men (and women!) to emulate if they want to be as attractive (that is, attractive to the results you want, sexually and otherwise), is that you consistently say, "No, thanks!" to the gift of other people's stinky sneakers, to use Rose of Cairo's metaphor.

Really? I love when you call me sexy.

Originally Posted by Angela

You grant others the space of utter freedom to think, say, feel and do as they will, without making it mean anything about yourself that doesn't work well for you. In fact, you seem to have a special genius for turning a stinky sneaker into a glass slipper. You GLOW like Cinderella and Prince Charming, when they're making sweet, hot love in the courtyard of the castle. (Plus, you're funny; that always helps.)

I guess I'm just really good at shining shoes. *shine shine shine*

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by 180

What kind of man you think she deserves? A man who's rich, handsome, good character, loyal, intelligent, and funny?

Guess what? That man is NON-EXISTENT.

Eh?

But I really do exist.

[zenrealized]

Listen let me give you an example about how you act is the most important thing over anything else. I was at a strip club that had full nudity. I decided to take a completely different approach to what I would normally take with one of these women. She was a girl from brazil and she made a lot of money at this club. I am a decent looking person but plenty of decent looking people come in the club all the time.

My approach was to tell her that I was interested in her but to "not waste my time". It worked. I had average amounts of money but I was able to go out with her a number of times. She used to do incredibly explicit things to me in the parking lot of where she lives. All I did was not allow myself to be used in any way. She had incredibly hot friends too. I remember I was out with her and a group of girls at a bar who she didn't know where commenting on how she got ME. This girl was smoking hot too. It was all how I was acting. We were at a dance club but I was having her dance in front of me. The balls it took to not cave in and run out on the dance floor with her showed the other women how strong my "game" was.

I was once at a casino with a friend and a girl walked by who was very attractive. I was drinking so I did the most outrageous thing possible. I did a gesture with my idex finger to come over to me, and she then proceeded to walk over to me and sit on my lap and we immediately started kisssing. It was just a primal reaction to my behavior. I was allowing her to be the way she wanted to be. Which is primal. Too many people make the assumption or worse judge a woman by giving their own values. That then becomes the bar that they will not cross with you even if they want to.

What is sounds like is you want to have sex with this girl and you're doing this gift giving to get the signals for permission to take action.

The friend zone is complete garbage and it's completely unacceptable. You need to up your game and stop this lame gift giving stuff. That's not going to get her excited so that she wants to be with you. She's only going to be with a guy that just trys to kiss her. You're not going to get permission to do it. You just have to do it. If it doesn't work well it doesn't work.