D:< This face does not convey how angry I am.

[Cheese96]

So this morning I overslept. When I woke up I called my ex and asked him if he would take me to school, and this didn't seem to be a problem with me because last night he called and said that he would still like to be friends with me. Anyway when he gets to my house he starts to treat me like crap. He didn't talk to me the entire car ride and kept texting on his phone (which is not just rude but also dangerous). Finally when we get to school there are no parking spaces and he tells me that he is going to drive around to the front to drop me off but I say "I can wait, its ok". so then he tells me that he wants me out of his car and I reply "You WANT me out of your car? that is a little bit of a rude way to say it but ok." When we get close enough to the doors he tells me to "get the f*** out". That really hurt because he never ever cursed at me while we were dating and now he thinks that it is ok to do so just because we are not. He made me so mad that I just wanted to hurt his feelings and I said "By acting like you are you're making it all mean nothing." He just laughed at me so I said "You can laugh all you want because I just realized I never really loved you and if I did it was shallow".... I got out and walked away. And I realize there is a lot of truth in these words. I just never wanted to admit it.

[180]

Wow sounds exactly how my ex and I reacted when we still wanted to be friends.

Better to cut it off now before it gets worse, but end it on good terms. It's probably hard for him. Because he still might have feelings. Men usually do this sort of crap. I know I did. I said let's be friends to my EX, but the very next day, I was filled with this uncontrollable anger and I just wanted to kill her.

I can't explain it. I don't know why. But it's how I felt.

The reason probably is because a woman can go from boyfriend to friend in 0 seconds flat. For a man, there's a lot that was there. And the fact that you can change the relationship so easily makes him feel like there was nothing there in the first place. That he was used for your entertainment.

It's how I felt. My ex even used to tell me about her new boyfriend in front of me. Although, I wanted to know, it made me furious.

I'm not excusing his behavior, but you have to understand him. It's probably very very hard for him to make the transition. His body is filling him with PMS like anger hormones. When I broke up with my Ex, I was filled with controllable rage to kill... everyone.

If you want me to explain it biologically... or in evolutionary psychology terms. He basically feels used. He spent money, time, love, emotional commitment, so that YOU would offer your egg to him. When you break up, he's denied the egg. And he feels his lineage... or his ability to procreate is threatened. It activates anger parts of his brain and he goes on a rampage.

It happens to like all men that date exclusively. Men who have several women at a time generally don't feel this way. WHy? Because they can have any other woman.

Anyways, whatever you do. Don't make him angry. He might be ready to blow. Just be nice.

[anniecooper]

Maybe he's upset you called him and asked him for a ride, he might feel like you were just using him. You don't really say much about your relationship when you guys were together so it's hard to kinda get an idea......


Let him cool off.. ignore him. If he's serious about being friends, he'll call you.

[Williamjw]

Well i'll be honest, i was quite alot like your ex after me and my ex both agreed to be friends. It was sort of more both faults though, she started not replying to my messages or texts (friendly ones) so i got very angry at her, and was very mean. I appologised after though and we get on fine now.

He will still have feelings for you though. Enless you both appologise for your words in the car then i'd cut it off. Often just after a break up being "just friends" is very hard for one of the people who still have strong feelings. Better to wait till those feelings aren't as strong before becoming friends, and he realises he was a ****head.

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

So this morning I overslept. When I woke up I called my ex and asked him if he would take me to school, and this didn't seem to be a problem with me because last night he called and said that he would still like to be friends with me. Anyway when he gets to my house he starts to treat me like crap. He didn't talk to me the entire car ride and kept texting on his phone (which is not just rude but also dangerous). Finally when we get to school there are no parking spaces and he tells me that he is going to drive around to the front to drop me off but I say "I can wait, its ok". so then he tells me that he wants me out of his car and I reply "You WANT me out of your car? that is a little bit of a rude way to say it but ok." When we get close enough to the doors he tells me to "get the f*** out". That really hurt because he never ever cursed at me while we were dating and now he thinks that it is ok to do so just because we are not. He made me so mad that I just wanted to hurt his feelings and I said "By acting like you are you're making it all mean nothing." He just laughed at me so I said "You can laugh all you want because I just realized I never really loved you and if I did it was shallow".... I got out and walked away. And I realize there is a lot of truth in these words. I just never wanted to admit it.

I have been in this situation too! In my last year of school my boyfriend of a year broke up with me (as far as I can see you haven't said you chose to end it??). We decided to be friends and I was devastated over the break up but tried to be nice. Eventually when he started realising I wasn't affected by the break up anymore he got really mad at me, seemingly for other reasons. He was just being a baby because he thought he had all the power (by ending the relationship) and couldn't take that I had taken my power back.

I don;t know all the ins and outs of your relationship but in my opinion you could stay friends if each of you know what "restrictions"... or I can't think of the word... but what rules apply to having a friendship with your ex??

I hope you're doing ok! I can imagine how you must feel going through a relationship with someone and then feeling like he's not who you thought he was and as you said feeling as though you never really loved him?? I get like you, trying to hurt and I must say it never helps me feel better. If that's how he acts I'd say wait for him to grow up in his attitude towards the whole arrangement.
Good luck!

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by 180

The reason probably is because a woman can go from boyfriend to friend in 0 seconds flat. For a man, there's a lot that was there. And the fact that you can change the relationship so easily makes him feel like there was nothing there in the first place. That he was used for your entertainment.

Man, I keep reading these things you post about the way men and women are when dating, and it sounds so completely opposite to my experience. In my experience, it's the men who go from relationship to friend easily, and it's the women who get really upset about it.

Even when the guy gets upset about it - he gets sad and dejected, not angry. I've never seen a guy get angry about a breakup. I've seen loads of women get angry and bitter about it, pretty much the way that was described in the OP, though.

Originally Posted by 180

If you want me to explain it biologically... or in evolutionary psychology terms. He basically feels used. He spent money, time, love, emotional commitment, so that YOU would offer your egg to him. When you break up, he's denied the egg. And he feels his lineage... or his ability to procreate is threatened. It activates anger parts of his brain and he goes on a rampage.

Maybe what I've seen happen could be explained in similar terms. The woman has spent all these things, so that the MAN would offer her protection and commitment. And when the relationship ends, she feels her safety is threatened.

Originally Posted by 180

It happens to like all men that date exclusively. Men who have several women at a time generally don't feel this way. WHy? Because they can have any other woman.

Anyways lol. I usually don't say anything when I see these things you describe, but I always do a double-take when I read them. It's like we're living in two completely different worlds.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

So this morning I overslept. When I woke up I called my ex and asked him if he would take me to school, and this didn't seem to be a problem with me because last night he called and said that he would still like to be friends with me. Anyway when he gets to my house he starts to treat me like crap. He didn't talk to me the entire car ride and kept texting on his phone (which is not just rude but also dangerous). Finally when we get to school there are no parking spaces and he tells me that he is going to drive around to the front to drop me off but I say "I can wait, its ok". so then he tells me that he wants me out of his car and I reply "You WANT me out of your car? that is a little bit of a rude way to say it but ok." When we get close enough to the doors he tells me to "get the f*** out". That really hurt because he never ever cursed at me while we were dating and now he thinks that it is ok to do so just because we are not. He made me so mad that I just wanted to hurt his feelings and I said "By acting like you are you're making it all mean nothing." He just laughed at me so I said "You can laugh all you want because I just realized I never really loved you and if I did it was shallow".... I got out and walked away. And I realize there is a lot of truth in these words. I just never wanted to admit it.

So during the car ride he kept texting on his phone and you thought of that as rude. When he wanted you to get out of the car and you didn't want to he got mad at you and said some hurtful stuff. You feel like because he's acting like this, that it meant nothing to him. And in your frustration you told him you didn't really love him.

Truth to what words, though? What didn't you want to admit?

[pinky3]

Something just struck me... even though you said you were going to stay friends... what made you think of him first when you needed a lift to school??
Did you have to/want to go with him?

I'm just asking because I know why I make decisions like that... but maybe there's less to it than I think?

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by pinky3

Something just struck me... even though you said you were going to stay friends... what made you think of him first when you needed a lift to school??
Did you have to/want to go with him?

I'm just asking because I know why I make decisions like that... but maybe there's less to it than I think?

Whenever we were dating he was always the one to take me to school, which is probably why I thought of him first. Plus we were planning to exchange rings so why not? Later on my mother told me she would have taken me but at the time I just didn't want her to be mad at me. I still don't drive yet and if I could I would have. All of my other friends to but they have their permits. He was the only ride available.

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

Whenever we were dating he was always the one to take me to school, which is probably why I thought of him first. Plus we were planning to exchange rings so why not? Later on my mother told me she would have taken me but at the time I just didn't want her to be mad at me. I still don't drive yet and if I could I would have. All of my other friends to but they have their permits. He was the only ride available.

Oh ok I see. Just asking. Does this mean that you're going to have to drive with him in future? That must've been something upsetting knowing that he was your only lift and then treated you the way he did. Hope things are going well?

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by pinky3

Oh ok I see. Just asking. Does this mean that you're going to have to drive with him in future? That must've been something upsetting knowing that he was your only lift and then treated you the way he did. Hope things are going well?

Well its not something I aim to do but I don't think I can avoid him forever. I know I'm very vague about the relationship I had with this guy but I still have raw feelings and I don't want to go posting mean and hurtful things (even though he will never read them). So maybe I'll explain all this in the future when I realize its not all his fault and it "takes two to tango" and all that jazz.

[pinky3]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

Well its not something I aim to do but I don't think I can avoid him forever. I know I'm very vague about the relationship I had with this guy but I still have raw feelings and I don't want to go posting mean and hurtful things (even though he will never read them). So maybe I'll explain all this in the future when I realize its not all his fault and it "takes two to tango" and all that jazz.

I understand and I can see why you would feel hurt and have raw feelings. I have often felt as though speaking about it helps? But it's different for everyone as to how they best sort there problems out. If you ever feel as though you need to speak about it there are a lot of people on this forum that would be here to listen

[Illuminatus]

Once again Cheese96, like in your other post I replied to, you are making this all about you.

What if he was having a bad day? Is there any need to take everything so personally?

I see that you find it hard to think beyond your own emotional reactions to a particular situation and see things from other people's perspectives.

Either way you both seem too immature to remain friends. I am assuming you are both quite young? You both have some growing to do, and that needs to be done apart.