Healthy Attitude? (dating beginner)

[restless]

Hi!

I never had a relationship. My goal is to find a girlfriend. Progress is slow, but measurable
However, I suffer from obsessive thinking.

"When will I succeed?"
"What does girl xyz think of me?"
"What more can I do to meet new people?"
"I fear XYZ"
...


Of course, Success at love can take a LONG time, and thinking about it accomplishes little to nothing.
IMHO, it would be best to not think about my love life at all. Do you agree?

I engage in inspiring, fun and motivating activities all the time - but still, every few minutes that thoughts come up.

How do you adopt a healthy attitude and fight obsessive thinking? Any suggestions?

[Williamjw]

Be yourself, from what i've observered, experianced and been told girls like a man who is himself. It shows he is trusting as he is not fake, and it also means you learn from experiance what you need to change about yourself in order to get a grilfriend.

Be physically healthy. I am a beleiver in the fact that if one is physically healthy they are 9/10 times emotionally healthy and visa versa, if dating being emotionally healthy is a must. No one wants someone who is all over the place emotionally when first meeting them.

You can't not think about your love life, it's against human instinct and nature. But rather when you go out don't try to look for someone, but just let instinct and intuition find you someone, trying to find someone never works, so go out to have a good time and you meet a girl then thats a bonus.

Lastly thinking about what girls think of you won't do any good at all, men can never know what girls/women are thinking of us, and if you do that then it will just mess you up, been there done that.

[Beuford]

Originally Posted by restless

"What does girl xyz think of me?"

If I get worried that a girl thinks negatively about me, and if I care about my relationship to the girl, I'll often defeat this belief by holding a conversation to prove to myself things are still positive.

[Brutha]

Focus on the fact that you are making measurable progress.

[restless]

Thanks everyone! Your ideas helped me over the past few days

Brutha, I always love your postings. Concise, to the point and very well thought out.