"High Maintenance": What exactly does it mean?

[elucidate]

Clearly it means different things to different people. There is no one definition.

Originally Posted by James81

Come on peeps. LOL

High maintenance is a person with expensive tastes. That about covers it.

[James81]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Clearly it means different things to different people. There is no one definition.

Yeah, judging by this thread, it looks like peeps take things a bit too seriously.

[elucidate]

How so? It seems like just another thread where peeps are trying to define and get to the bottom of something they don't understand. The posts may not be that lighthearted, but I don't know that they are being too serious either?

I myself have wondered for years what that term meant as well, so I'm finding it pretty illuminating to read the replies of individuals here.

Sure it's not just because they don't have the same 'right' definition that you have given?

Originally Posted by James81

Yeah, judging by this thread, it looks like peeps take things a bit too seriously.

[Fuujin]

I believe, that there is a difference between high standarts and high maientance.

High standarts are, I believe, are necessary for conscious, intelligent and growing person. My standarts for a woman, when I'm thinking if she could be my girlfriend are intelligence, open-mindness and some interest in art, hobby or making living through some kind of art (includes dancing, singing, drawing, painting, or some creative work which she does like an art).

But, high maientance means, that the woman wants to make the man pay for her, be with her too much, expensive dinners, etc... I don't even talk long to HM women, I can sense it in 10-20 minutes of conversation (sometimes sooner). I believe that intelligent, conscious people do not need to date HM people.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

Yeah, judging by this thread, it looks like peeps take things a bit too seriously.

A bit too seriously according to whom?

[Brutha]

High maintenance is a person with expensive tastes.

Expensive can mean many things
Sometimes the resource is money, sometimes it's time, sometimes it's giving up some behavior...

[velvet1]

I see High Maintenance, as when someone needs something and can't let go of it because they can't see themselves without it; it is a must.

[Lucidism]

When my friends and I have used this term in the past, it means one or more things about the woman:

1. She wears a lot of makeup / does a lot of stuff with her hair / takes hours to get ready to go out.

2. She wants a lot of money spent on her. A relaxing night out eating ice cream and seeing a movie is no-good for this girl. She wants an expensive dinner and expensive vacations. All paid for by you, of course.

3. She visits the spa 2 or 3x a week to "de-stress" from the hard pampered life she lives. Being supported by mommy & daddy while working 5 hours a week as a tutor is a lot to handle, after all.

[AtomicAnt]

I don't know if it was said about you or someone else, but consider the source. That's a judgmental statement and someone in alignment wouldn't say that, so out of alignment often creates not the truth.

I've thought it applied to people, usually women (and it's sexist in origin), who like lavish living - minks, expensive cars, etc. and never have worked for a living. Hadn't thought about it, but it also kind of means they're not "deep." It's just a nasty comment. Ignore it. Consider the source.

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

I really got it from reading this. Seems to me you're describing what I label a chronic drama queen. People that aren't entertained unless they are generating negative drama/attention around them. I know that most everyone will (most times unconsciously) create negative drama though.

Yeah, when I think drama queen, I think of someone who actually seeks to cause drama. They get a kind of thrill from it. When I think of high maintenance, I see a situation where the relationship CAN be comfortable and pleasant - for months or years on end - IF there's enough of the right kind of attention going the girl's way from the guy. She doesn't WANT drama, and she would rather it didn't happen. It's just that she wants the guy to *make* her feel special by behaving in certain ways - and if he doesn't do that, she doesn't feel special and she gets upset. She wants the guy to maintain that "specialness" feeling in her, and if he does she'll feel just fine. This is the way I've heard people use high-maintenance.

I've never heard it used about someone who has expensive taste, that I can recall. Maybe snobby, conceited, sense of entitlement, things along those lines for someone with expensive taste.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

When I think of high maintenance, I see a situation where the relationship CAN be comfortable and pleasant - for months or years on end - IF there's enough of the right kind of attention going the girl's way from the guy. She doesn't WANT drama, and she would rather it didn't happen. It's just that she wants the guy to *make* her feel special by behaving in certain ways - and if he doesn't do that, she doesn't feel special and she gets upset. She wants the guy to maintain that "specialness" feeling in her, and if he does she'll feel just fine. This is the way I've heard people use high-maintenance.

This is how I think of it as well -- "high maintenance" doesn't necessarily have to mean "bad" or "difficult." Just requiring plenty of attention.

[MidasGirl]

Aw, you're so sweet. No it wasn't said about me. I actually don't think I'm high maintenance even looking at it from all the perspectives presented here. I just have high standards.

Originally Posted by AtomicAnt

I don't know if it was said about you or someone else, but consider the source. That's a judgmental statement and someone in alignment wouldn't say that, so out of alignment often creates not the truth.

I've thought it applied to people, usually women (and it's sexist in origin), who like lavish living - minks, expensive cars, etc. and never have worked for a living. Hadn't thought about it, but it also kind of means they're not "deep." It's just a nasty comment. Ignore it. Consider the source.

[FazK]

When guys say a girl is high maintenance they mean she's full of **** and gives him endless trouble (moaning, complaining, getting him to run around for him)

Thats why hot women are referred to as high maintenance, they know they can get away with this stuff because they are so beautiful.

[mindset]

Originally Posted by James81

Come on peeps. LOL

High maintenance is a person with expensive tastes. That about covers it.

That's how I understand what high maintenance is too...sort of a materialistic character and how they always want everything their way, it pleases them. In my opinion though...

[Fuujin]

Originally Posted by FazK

When guys say a girl is high maintenance they mean she's full of **** and gives him endless trouble (moaning, complaining, getting him to run around for him)

Thats why hot women are referred to as high maintenance, they know they can get away with this stuff because they are so beautiful.

Not each hot woman. Get to know them and you may be surprised.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by FazK

When guys say a girl is high maintenance they mean she's full of **** and gives him endless trouble (moaning, complaining, getting him to run around for him)

Thats why hot women are referred to as high maintenance, they know they can get away with this stuff because they are so beautiful.

I'll tell my husband that he is supposed to run around for me and put up with my complaining, see what he says

Edit: well... it got a good laugh out of him

[ssandra]

High maintenance for me simple means what it says.

In order to keep this girl (or guy) you have to *do* a lot of things. This can either be buying things, or telling her she is the most beautiful creature on earth 50 times a day, or giving lots of little gifts, or listing to her talk for hours and hours a day...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being high maintenance although I do believe that most people who are like this would be happier if they would get the acknowledgment from within, instead of without.

There are plenty of guys (and girls) who enjoy being with a high maintenance partner because it means that they get to show them how much they love them in a way that is compatible.

I think it is all about compatibility. If you have somebody who likes to say "I love you" once a month, partnered with somebody who likes to hear it 50 times a day... Not going to work!