Best Online Dating Service??

[sirkinm]

I'm doing a little poll, and wonder what you guys think is the best online dating service.

There are free ones and there are paid ones - which do you think is the best of the best.

There are SO many out there -- huge ones (like Match.com), and more regional ones (I believe the big guys like Match are international).

Just let me know your thoughts!

[NewSimon]

Unless you're looking for a particular sort of person on a specialist dating site, I would go for the biggest one. It's all about numbers - contacting and meeting as many people as possible. Match are fine. Don't go for anything free, you'll be wasting time with timewasters.

[Savage]

IMO the best one is Facebook.

[seeker5]

My absolute favorite one so far: stevepavlina.com/forums.

[Fuujin]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

IMO the best one is Facebook.

Second that. When I used other dating sites, it was full of people who were chasing ideals which even don't exist, losers, whiners, etc... On facebook you can find really interesting people.

[CatP]

I've been using Zoosk to much success

It's newer, but it's growing virally and they claim over 30 million members in the U.S. I like it because:

a) it's geek friendly
b) the proportion of men to women is better (other sites are virtually ALL men)
c) I've had great experiences both with men AND women (I'm bi ).

It's free, but they try to upsell you a premium membership, kind of like OKCupid.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by seeker5

My absolute favorite one so far: stevepavlina.com/forums.

Second that, plus if one of your core values is Personal Development, that shared value is already taken care of.

I think the best dating sites are the ones where people aren't looking necessarily to date. But even offline, I wouldn't go out to a bar with an intention of meeting a potential date there anyway. "Going about my daily life" is the best dating scene.

That said I'm sure there are a few good ones, I signed up on OKCupid (its free) and got quite a few hits and only stayed there a couple weeks. You have to be very specific, thorough and put in the work to get yourself noticed. If you just put in generic stuff and a picture, you're just one of many people there.

[Cochonette]

But how many people do you actually meet through Facebook? I usually meet people elsewhere and then add them to FB. In Steve's case, he has a lot of fans, so it's unusual.

I've never been on a date, though, so I couldn't say what is the best... the only one I've had any success with was plentyoffish, but we lived too far apart.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Second that, plus if one of your core values is Personal Development, that shared value is already taken care of.

I think the best dating sites are the ones where people aren't looking necessarily to date.

That's true. I've never sought to date people on this forum, each time it just "happened" as a result of getting to know each other and talking about subjects of mutual interest.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

But how many people do you actually meet through Facebook? I usually meet people elsewhere and then add them to FB. In Steve's case, he has a lot of fans, so it's unusual.

Yeah, Steve's case is unusual in that he has a lot of people become friends because they know him from this website. However, I know in my case, I knew some people from this forum and after we became facebook friends, we got to know each other better and dated (as well as people I didn't date but was just friends). So you could say facebook helped, but we knew each other elsewhere before we befriended each other on facebook. Kind of how the people who befriend Steve on facebook already knew him from this site.

However, facebook is really great for getting to know people better before meeting them in person.

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Yeah, Steve's case is unusual in that he has a lot of people become friends because they know him from this website. However, I know in my case, I knew some people from this forum and after we became facebook friends, we got to know each other better and dated (as well as people I didn't date but was just friends). So you could say facebook helped, but we knew each other elsewhere before we befriended each other on facebook. Kind of how the people who befriend Steve on facebook already knew him from this site.

However, facebook is really great for getting to know people better before meeting them in person.

Actually... lol. I have had two people tell me through Facebook that they were attracted to me. One even repeatedly offered to have sex with me (the only time anyone has done that). They were both male, however, and I wasn't really attracted. I did get to know both of them better through FB, and both of them were living elsewhere at the time. That's the thing. Everyone I have gotten to know better through Facebook lives elsewhere. It seems like people don't really chat on Facebook if we can see each other in person.

My brother uses Facebook as a dating website, though. I found out he was interested in men from his profile, and he had joined a bunch of FB groups like "Facebook's Hottest Gay Men," "Hot Gay Singles," etc... and Facebook is clearly where he met most of his FB friends.

[marinik]

Originally Posted by seeker5

My absolute favorite one so far: stevepavlina.com/forums.

Suckup!!!!

[SatvikBeri]

Originally Posted by NewSimon

Unless you're looking for a particular sort of person on a specialist dating site, I would go for the biggest one. It's all about numbers - contacting and meeting as many people as possible. Match are fine. Don't go for anything free, you'll be wasting time with timewasters.

Statistically, free sites like okcupid and plentyoffish offer much higher success rates. There are many theories on why this may be, one of them being that paid sites like match.com don't have much motivation to actually match people up-because once someone is in a relationship, they will unsubscribe.

Okcupid has an article on it (though obviously it's biased): Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating OkTrends

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by SatvikBeri

Statistically, free sites like okcupid and plentyoffish offer much higher success rates. There are many theories on why this may be, one of them being that paid sites like match.com don't have much motivation to actually match people up-because once someone is in a relationship, they will unsubscribe.

Okcupid has an article on it (though obviously it's biased): Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating OkTrends

I know, right? Hahaha... I used POF, haven't used a paid service, and I don't see why so many people gripe about it for that reason. Also, it has always creeped me out the idea of a third party being paid to arrange my dates. Ew. Dating should not equal capitalism. Also, I don't do arranged marriages.

Anyhow... I don't know how you meet dates on forums. I have not added anyone to FB from a forum... ever. (Chat room, yes.) Either it's a bad way to connect with people, or it's just not the kind of people I'd want to date, or... well, not to mention, that even if you did meet someone, I have never met someone online and become friends with them there who actually lived in or even near my city.

[Kishka]

I had good success with OKCupid, met my ex there, and we're still good friends today. Met another decent guy there but it didn't work out because of lifestyle differences. Don't forget also that sites change over time!

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by marinik

Suckup!!!!

Maybe . . . you have no idea how many guys have tried to hook up with me through this site. No idea.

[leaver]

As far as social networks go, I would highly recommend experienceproject.com It's completely anonymous, so people are much more open and personal than on places like facebook, and it's a lot easier to make deep connections quickly.

but on the other hand, you need to be careful about who you're talking to, because there's also a lot of creeps and perverts that like to use it; and since it's anonymous, you can't be sure who you're talking to. Just don't hand out personal information too quickly and you should be fine.

[Brutha]

Maybe . . . you have no idea how many guys have tried to hook up with me through this site. No idea.

But did it work?

In general there are a bunch of people who use it for that purpose and do cold approaches through facebook.

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by Brutha

But did it work? .

We'll see in October!

[aabbcc]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

I've never been on a date, though, so I couldn't say what is the best... the only one I've had any success with was plentyoffish, but we lived too far apart.

I love Plenty Of Fish! I've met lots of nice folks there. I've been friends with a couple of guys from POF for years. Even though I eventually moved away from their area, I still talk to them online.

[iDreamCatcher]

Originally Posted by leaver

As far as social networks go, I would highly recommend experienceproject.com It's completely anonymous, so people are much more open and personal than on places like facebook, and it's a lot easier to make deep connections quickly.

EP is a nice site but it's dominated by depressive, suicidal and broken hearted people. After all it's about anonymously sharing personal experiences.
I do know that quite a few people are manage to make connections over there though.

Gleb

[anniecooper]

Originally Posted by seeker5

My absolute favorite one so far: stevepavlina.com/forums.

Yes! Zach and I are getting married. Also maybe PWL...and possibly Secrets..........................

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by anniecooper

Yes! Zach and I are getting married. Also maybe PWL...and possibly Secrets..........................

There's apparently also an orgy at a ranch in Montana in the works.

[Crushable]

Plentyoffish
Okcupid
Facebook via apps like "are u interested" or "social me"
Match

[NewSimon]

I've decided to have a go at eating my own words and signed up with free service - Plenty of Fish, over a week ago. I used Match a couple of years back and had some good response and about 7 dates in a month. I went out with someone for a little while. It's the emails and trying to find different and original things to say, that I find tiresome.

So I'm meeting a woman from PoF on Monday evening. I haven't contacted any myself so far; I'm letting them come to me. The site is ok, I'm glad I'm not a woman as the choice of men is depressing. They all say the same thing, half the photos seem to be of them looking miserable or with some woman (who?) Lot's of women seem to be complaining about men contacting them looking for the usual thing. This is unsurprising for a free site. I think women get a rough deal on these sites, most members are male apparently.

In Britain, dating is considered a serious under-taking and people generally don't regularly date more than one person at a time. It's all a bit too formal, I think!

[iDreamCatcher]

Originally Posted by NewSimon

I've decided to have a go at eating my own words and signed up with free service - Plenty of Fish, over a week ago. I used Match a couple of years back and had some good response and about 7 dates in a month. I went out with someone for a little while. It's the emails and trying to find different and original things to say, that I find tiresome.

So I'm meeting a woman from PoF on Monday evening. I haven't contacted any myself so far; I'm letting them come to me. The site is ok, I'm glad I'm not a woman as the choice of men is depressing. They all say the same thing, half the photos seem to be of them looking miserable or with some woman (who?) Lot's of women seem to be complaining about men contacting them looking for the usual thing. This is unsurprising for a free site. I think women get a rough deal on these sites, most members are male apparently.

In Britain, dating is considered a serious under-taking and people generally don't regularly date more than one person at a time. It's all a bit too formal, I think!

Well, POF is not exactly the place to meet a warrior in a shiny armor on a white horse.

[SatvikBeri]

Originally Posted by iDreamCatcher

Well, POF is not exactly the place to meet a warrior in a shiny armor on a white horse.

That would probably be Otakubooty

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by iDreamCatcher

Well, POF is not exactly the place to meet a warrior in a shiny armor on a white horse.

Very high number of unindustrious/unmotivated men on POF.

[NewSimon]

Well, this is what I'm setting out to find out - if free sites are a waste of time compared to pay sites. There isn't that much difference, except people are lazier at writing about themselves when they're not forced to. The men are mostly crap and the women slightly more crap than on a pay site. Having to pull out a credit card seems to remove the lazy and unmotivated of which men are the worst.

When not forced into providing reasonable prose about themselves, a lot people just reveal the apathetic and banal sides of themselves. This is useful in discarding the people you don't want to meet. So it's not worth writing free sites off after all, just more work and more filtering.

[Cochonette]

Okay, this is weird, but... I basically never used any dating website other than Plenty of Fish. The rest either sucked or cost $$$. Now, I thought OKCupid was a paid site. I was like, I swear I've signed up for it 2-3 times and found out it was one of those paid sites that trick you into signing up for free. But then I kept hearing it was free, so I went to it to see, and it was a website I'd never seen before. Talk about strange!

Then I signed up, and whoa! the quality is a million times better than POF. And there are a lot of attractive females on there who are out of my league, quite! Time to aim for 20 rejections. :P

But seriously... holy crap. It's like Facebook versus... xanga. So that's where all the people I know IRL went! On POF, I had to search San Francisco or Toronto just to find one or two other overly intellectual, pretentiously queer folks. LOL... on OkCupid, that's like all there is. XD Oh, God, it reminds me of D.C., where my social status is in the bottom 2%. :P

Oh, wait... all the ones I've looked at ARE in D.C.
Ummm...
in fact, it reminds me of uni...
I think this website must be run by a panel of professors.