Moving on from an ex

[secondevolution]

Originally Posted by 180

I hate to break it to most guys, But dating is how women rape men. Not in the sexual sense but in the sense of resources. It's REVERSE RAPE. A woman, gives a man this sense that they will allow the man into her baby making cavity (the vagina). So men unconsciously try to woo the woman with whatever he has to offer. Different women "need" different things. It's a seriously common theme in dating for guys to hear "You're just not what I need anymore". And the guy is confused scratching his head. Trying to figure out what that means.... Because we have no idea that dating is reverse rape, we feel confused. A woman basically USED us for resources. If she was lonely. Or if she just needed a man. Or if for some reason you were a status symbol to her. Dating YOU would increase her status with her friends. Or it could have been a roller coaster ride of feelings for her. She was EXCITED by you. When the excitement fades, she goes to another man.

If women are that superficial then what's the point? Seriously.

Originally Posted by Martin S

You sound like a person who has just lost his job. :P

A relationship is just like a business deal. Do you cry if you lose a customer? Perhaps if that was your only customer.. but then you go out and find another one. It's all a matter of convenience. The relationships that tend to last the longest are the ones that involve a great deal of convenience as opposed to pure love - for instance if two people are able to complement each other's strengths and weaknesses and to work towards a common goal together.

In fact, most relationships are based on convenience.. that's just the way it is.

I disagree with that analogy. Apples and oranges springs to mind.

As a matter of fact, most of our relationship was spent 3000 miles apart from one another. I would hardly call that "convenient". And yet I never stopped loving her throughout that time and once we were finally together it was like a dream come true. I knew it would be difficult when we went back to our normal lives, and I accept that it's over, but I don't want to move on.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by secondevolution

If women are that superficial then what's the point? Seriously.

They're not. Don't worry.

[Martin S]

Originally Posted by secondevolution

If women are that superficial then what's the point? Seriously.

I disagree with that analogy. Apples and oranges springs to mind.

As a matter of fact, most of our relationship was spent 3000 miles apart from one another. I would hardly call that "convenient". And yet I never stopped loving her throughout that time and once we were finally together it was like a dream come true. I knew it would be difficult when we went back to our normal lives, and I accept that it's over, but I don't want to move on.

The question that you want to ask yourself is: Do you love her because you don't want to feel lonely, or do you love her because you just do - with an attitude of complete detachment from whether you are with her or not. A relationship is no cure for loneliness...

[secondevolution]

Originally Posted by Martin S

The question that you want to ask yourself is: Do you love her because you don't want to feel lonely, or do you love her because you just do - with an attitude of complete detachment from whether you are with her or not. A relationship is no cure for loneliness...

I want her to be happy whether we're together or not. I'm not trying to get back with her, because she made it very clear the relationship was over and I respect that, but I can't forget what we shared. The thought of dating and finding someone else doesn't appeal to me.

[joelr]

Originally Posted by secondevolution

I want her to be happy whether we're together or not. I'm not trying to get back with her, because she made it very clear the relationship was over and I respect that, but I can't forget what we shared. The thought of dating and finding someone else doesn't appeal to me.

You don't have to find anyone else. Relationships are not requirements. You don't have to forget anything either.
Maybe in a few weeks, months or years you will feel like being in a relationship. Right now the idea is bugging you so forget it. Deal with other stuff for now.

[secondevolution]

Originally Posted by joelr

You don't have to find anyone else. Relationships are not requirements. You don't have to forget anything either.
Maybe in a few weeks, months or years you will feel like being in a relationship. Right now the idea is bugging you so forget it. Deal with other stuff for now.

Yes, I don't want a girlfriend and I certainly don't need one. It still hurts when someone special is no longer part of your life and you know you'll never meet anyone like her again. Like I said, I'm grateful for what we shared, but now all I have are the memories. I can't go back.