Becoming a "Sex Coach"?

[MidasGirl]

So, today I'm sitting here totally under the weather and unable to go to work, watching The View live (been a while since I did that!) and messing on SP.

A while back I offered to help someone here get laid (can't share any more details as now it's a private convo) and I was thinking, gee I wonder how many good guys out there could actually use help like this. I know there's all kinds of sites, PUA sites, whatever sites, books etc. It doesn't really matter, what matters is that there are still good guys not getting laid. (hey there's more than one way to save the world)

So a friend and I were chatting about this, and she said, I think you'd make a great dating/mating coach cuz you're aggressive and blunt but still caring. Yup, that's me.

At any rate, what do you all think? I can see how this would be something I'd LOVE doing, I would enjoy doing it, I could absolutely kick ass doing it as I'd be really good at it. I could write a quick resume even to show what makes me think I'd be so good at this.

I can just see my tagline: "Helping good people get laid".

But here's the thing, I'd have no clue how or where to start. What do you think? Would you (if you weren't getting laid --men or women) pay for a service like that?

p.s I have a splitting headache so forgive me if I don't engage in heated debate.

*when I say getting laid, I really mean meeting a good person of your preference. It's my sense of humor that seems to not be easy to get.

[James81]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Would you (if you weren't getting laid --men or women) pay for a service like that?

Go look at what PUA sites are charging for bootcamps. You'll literally be astounded.

And guys flock to these things in droves.

[rei]

There's definitely demand for this.

And you'll probably get a lot of potentials interested because you're attractive. It just works out that way - apparently guys are even more willing to work with a psychic they consider sexy. Go figure. Suppose I should add sexy Rei to my site

As I said, you'd be awesome at this! Set up a simple website, business cards, visit some of the websites where they offer this to see the price range.

And you can count your T&A in setting your prices... hehe... I'm not being insensitive either, I'm sure there's guys out there who would back me up on this. And will appreciate the chance to get coached amidst the discomfort many of them feel when they talk to an attractive woman.

Go for it, aggressive, blunt, caring chica

[MidasGirl]

Thanks rei. I didn't wanna out you as the friend that sees my potential in this I tend to listen to intuitive people though, as I feel like my intuitive side has taken a hit as a result of screwing up my meditation practice.

At any rate, what is T&A?

And thanks for your kind words. Yeah, rei the hot intuitive would suit you perfectly. This must be why your biz has taken off so fast I kid, of course you're good at it too.

[ssandra]

I think it would be a great idea, especially if you offer personalized one-on-one training with them (euh... training in HOW to get laid.. not in getting laid.. Unless you want to of course )

I think it would be pretty easy to set up an easy site, do 3 or 4 for free and see where you end up making money...

Your target would be those good guys who find PUA too fake, but still are horny...

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by James81

Go look at what PUA sites are charging for bootcamps. You'll literally be astounded.

And guys flock to these things in droves.

I'll check them out. I look at all the money guys shell out to buy those PUA material and I'm floored. I remember my ex-boyfriend had about $1K worth of Deangelo material, I sold it all on ebay

I remember how heartbroken I was when that guy last year ( I think it was in PA) went into a gym class full of women and started shooting randomly. That is sad. Every time I'm in my gym classes I think about that, how desperate and hateful one has to be against women to do such a thing. Those women who died just because a guy couldn't figure out how to get laid inspire me to wanna do this.

[rei]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Thanks rei. I didn't wanna out you as the friend that sees my potential in this I tend to listen to intuitive people though, as I feel like my intuitive side has taken a hit as a result of screwing up my meditation practice.

Oh yeah? I'll let you in on a secret - I don't meditate! Not sitting on purpose anyway, though I'm sure I enter meditative states throughout the day. A regular practice could provide some benefits, sure, but I'm not of the opinion that a regular sitting practice is necessary

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

At any rate, what is T&A?

tots and asprin... Well, not exactly I don't know if the software will let me explain? Your universe-given curves, whatever size they are...

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

And thanks for your kind words. Yeah, rei the hot intuitive would suit you perfectly. This must be why your biz has taken off so fast I kid, of course you're good at it too.

Ha! Yeah, I read about the sex appeal in a book last night... at first I thought, seriously? Then I realized it is a common thing about us humans so no reason it doesn't apply to all sorts of endeavors.

(I don't really intend to capitalize on that type of thing, it was just fresh on my mind from reading it and figured it would certainly apply to your interest here )

[James81]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

I remember how heartbroken I was when that guy last year ( I think it was in PA) went into a gym class full of women and started shooting randomly. That is sad. Every time I'm in my gym classes I think about that, how desperate and hateful one has to be against women to do such a thing. Those women who died just because a guy couldn't figure out how to get laid inspire me to wanna do this.

Oh yeah, I think I remember this. Didn't he have a blog and a youtube video of himself and everything?

[Johnny Skosnik]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

A while back I offered to help someone here get laid (can't share any more details as now it's a private convo) and I was thinking, gee I wonder how many good guys out there could actually use help like this. I know there's all kinds of sites, PUA sites, whatever sites, books etc. It doesn't really matter, what matters is that there are still good guys not getting laid. (hey there's more than one way to save the world)

Initially I was confused, I thought you meant helping women attract relationships. Okay you wanna help guys get laid. Cool. But wouldn't your advice be influenced by what you, personally, find hot; which might be different from what a woman your guy customer wants, would find hot.

In other words, say you like tough, aggressive men so you advise someone to join a gym and buy a leather jacket. But the type of woman your hypothetical client wants, wants quiet, introspective fellas.

In other other words, consider this:

Why the Best Relationship Advice for Men Comes From Other Men

A common mistake many men make is to seek relationship advice from their female friends. On the surface this seems logical. If a man is confused by a woman's responses, then who better to decipher the code than another woman?

In reality, unfortunately, women often give men relationship advice that is the exact opposite of what works. The advice may be well-intentioned, but it's bad advice. If the man tries to apply the advice he gets from other women, it will frequently generate weak results and leave him stranded and confused.

You may find this counter-intuitive. The first time someone explained this to me, it took a while to get my head around it. But after a while it began to make sense. And I couldn't deny that the advice from experienced men simply worked much better than any relationship advice I received from women.

One reason for this is that most women have little or no experience being in romantic relationships with other women. A guy who's been in just a handful of relationships will often give you much more practical and effective advice because his advice is based on real experiences relating to real women. Men and women are quite different when it comes to relationships. You can't simply take advice that works for a woman relating to a man and flip-flop it to make it work for a man relating to a woman. It would be great if relationships were so symmetrical, but in reality they just aren't.

Another problem is that what women say they respond to is often quite different from what they actually respond to. Women are subjected to a tremendous amount of social conditioning just as men are. Women are taught how "Mr. Right" is supposed to behave and what they should look for in a guy. When you ask a woman for relationship or dating advice, you'll often get her socially conditioned answer, but not the real truth. Women often have a good sense of what they've been taught to find attractive in a man, but they usually aren't as aware of what they actually find attractive in men. This is at least as confusing to women as it is to men.

The best relationship advice for men almost invariably comes from other men -- specifically from men who are very experienced and very good with women. Such men have figured out under real-world conditions what's effective and what isn't. They understand female psychology more deeply than most women do. They are masters of social dynamics. Some of these men have had the opportunity to engage romantically or flirtatiously with thousands of women. This level of experience allows them to notice patterns that other men -- and women -- miss completely.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I think it would be a great idea, especially if you offer personalized one-on-one training with them (euh... training in HOW to get laid.. not in getting laid.. Unless you want to of course )

I think it would be pretty easy to set up an easy site, do 3 or 4 for free and see where you end up making money...

Your target would be those good guys who find PUA too fake, but still are horny...

LOL. Don't wanna offer any one-on-one training on a physical level

Yes my target would be those guys who are repulsed by the idea that they actually have to become jerks in order to get laid. I'm not even thinking of really young guys, but I think if a guy is 24+ and still not been kissed (where he's wanted to) then it's time to start working on something. I'm not talking about the raging hormone teen. Although I wouldn't turn them back.

Thanks for the support, I think I'll start working on the curriculum.

[Curtis2011]

I think you could start a new profession called "**** coaching" - you would probably make a lot more $$$ with a name like "Professional **** Coach" instead of Dating Coach


Great idea

[rei]

About what Sandra said, I'd say you may still want to be prepared to offer suggestions for the process itself - how to handle themselves when they get to that point of being intimate. Although the stuff about being in the moment IS the most helpful suggestion, I'd say your target audience is still likely to want some tips and tricks, especially if they don't have a great deal of experience or aren't accustomed to direct communication with partners about their likes/dislikes.

And whether you actually demonstrate any of your tips and tricks ... is entirely up to you

But then, I feel like this is something you know already - so I don't know why I'm posting it.

I do think you could be really successful at this

[Elrond]

Well you certainly have the right attitude.

But be forewarned though.

Women Often Give Horrible Dating Advice About Men | Single City Guy

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

At any rate, what is T&A?

ROFL. It's what you have that a male PUA coach would not.

I don't have a lot of money, so my preference would be to figure it out for myself. However, going to a tech school, I know that there are a lot of guys that do or are going to have a lot of money and absolutely no idea what to do with a woman. If you're any good, I think you'll find a huge market for this kind of thing.

Also, the hurdles that must be overcome before a man can honestly get a woman require changes in other areas of life, so you'll be doing a lot more than just getting nerds laid.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by rei

About what Sandra said, I'd say you may still want to be prepared to offer suggestions for the process itself

Actually... as soon as I read the title, before reading the post, that is what I thought and I was thinking " I want to do that!! That would be so great!!! "

Hmmm maybe there is a 2rd or 3rd career in there for me

[MyEyeIsOpen]

I think there's a huge market for this. Guys who are frustrated and turned off by the tone of most PUA material. They will lap up advice from an attractive, strong woman.

One thing you have to figure out early is how to set and keep boundaries with your clients. Serious potential for erotic transference, and you don't want to be a situation in which you're the one rejecting clients. That's just way awkward, and certainly not lucrative.

You need to make it look official. Something simple, a brochure website, a card, and a decent pitch.

[andrew]

Geez louise, T&A is tits and ass.

[rei]

Originally Posted by MyEyeIsOpen

and a decent pitch.

MyEye, I think you'll get a kick out of this. As I was reading your response, I kept getting distracted by your new photo Very nice (I'm sure you know you're handsome )

But, as I was multitasking between glancing at the photo and reading, I came to the part I quoted and thought it said "a decent patch" - ha! (Since you're quite open about it, I'm hoping you'll find this amusing, not offensive )

I agree about the boundaries as well. Professional and not personal... But then she can't help but be sexy too. I think that can be helpful for her goals, but will call for good boundaries as well.

Sandra, you'd be a lovely F#ck Coach I bet

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

ROFL. It's what you have that a male PUA coach would not..

ROFL..........

I feel so silly now I didn't know what that was.

Sheesh. It's like yesterday my 11 yr old is talking to me telling me stories about boys she's got crushes on (5th grade, sigh!) and so she mentions this one boy who she wouldn't give the time of her day(). And I ask her, "why, is he fugly"? And she gets this look on her like, "MOM?!?" So I'm like "what"? She goes, "do you even know what fugly means"? I go, "well, fat and ugly.... She goes, "No it means f'ing ugly, you just called that boy f'ing ugly, oh I'm so gonna tell him that's what my mom thinks of him".

Oh dear, guess I better update on the lingo if I'm gonna do this.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by MyEyeIsOpen

One thing you have to figure out early is how to set and keep boundaries with your clients. Serious potential for erotic transference, and you don't want to be a situation in which you're the one rejecting clients. That's just way awkward, and certainly not lucrative.

On the other hand, if you can be really honest with yourself and your clients, this "problem" may be able to be turned to your advantage. One major advantage you have over male PUA trainers could be that you can do one on one role-playing training before sending them out into the wild. They need to learn how to be rejected, and you could give them some good experience in that area . Boundaries will be necessary, but let them be natural rather than artificial (I'm not sure what I mean by that, but you get the feeling of what I'm aiming for ).

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by andrew

Geez louise, T&A is tits and ass.

Well, it's just that I'm used to calling them female breasts and buttocks.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by MyEyeIsOpen

I think there's a huge market for this. Guys who are frustrated and turned off by the tone of most PUA material. They will lap up advice from an attractive, strong woman.

One thing you have to figure out early is how to set and keep boundaries with your clients. Serious potential for erotic transference, and you don't want to be a situation in which you're the one rejecting clients. That's just way awkward, and certainly not lucrative.

You need to make it look official. Something simple, a brochure website, a card, and a decent pitch.

Thanks.

Well, just thanks.

I hear ya on the erotic transference part of it. I remember when I had a coach, as in a life coach, over the phone, the ET definitely happened at some point. Because I'm not positing as a "professional coach", more like a "consultant", this should be interesting in how I set the rules. But def something to take into major consideration.

[andrew]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Well, it's just that I'm used to calling them female breasts and buttocks.

Haha no, not that you didn't know, but that nobody wanted to say it. We could always call it B&B

[MidasGirl]

@Elrond and Johnny. I do see good points in your take on this.

I do agree that most women would give advice (well intentioned as it might be) that might confuse guys as to what they really mean. I believe I'm past that though, in the sense that I wouldn't tell a guy, "just be yourself" for example. Even though I know what that means from a woman's perspective, most guys who are inexperienced with women don't have one clue what that means.

Also, I tend to just accept things for what they are. I may agree with things that would send the typical feminists ballistic, for example, I don't believe girl and boys are the same. I think they are unique and different. But humans are equal though, from the perspective of dignity. Hell I think every individual is unique and different.

The weird part is, I agree with a lot of things PUA's say, I just detest how they apply them.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by andrew

We could always call it B&B

Sounds like a lovely place to stay the night.

[MyEyeIsOpen]

Originally Posted by rei

MyEye, I think you'll get a kick out of this. As I was reading your response, I kept getting distracted by your new photo Very nice (I'm sure you know you're handsome )

I've heard this a few times lately, I'm glad you approve 8)

Originally Posted by rei

But, as I was multitasking between glancing at the photo and reading, I came to the part I quoted and thought it said "a decent patch" - ha! (Since you're quite open about it, I'm hoping you'll find this amusing, not offensive )

That's hilarious! Yes, a nice patch is necessary for every aspiring **** coach. It's just part of the job, you know?

[rei]

Originally Posted by MyEyeIsOpen

a nice patch is necessary for every aspiring **** coach. It's just part of the job, you know?

LOL so many different levels to that MG, you better be sure your patch is in order

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Sheesh. It's like yesterday my 11 yr old is talking to me telling me stories about boys she's got crushes on (5th grade, sigh!) and so she mentions this one boy who she wouldn't give the time of her day(). And I ask her, "why, is he fugly"? And she gets this look on her like, "MOM?!?" So I'm like "what"? She goes, "do you even know what fugly means"? I go, "well, fat and ugly.... She goes, "No it means f'ing ugly, you just called that boy f'ing ugly, oh I'm so gonna tell him that's what my mom thinks of him".

LOL. How considerate of her, to share feedback with that nice boy.

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Sounds like a lovely place to stay the night.

LOL Indiana. I wouldn't mind a few night stay.

[seeker5]

I'd suggest to start taking on a few clients for free to start out - serious client though. And see how you can help them out. Then, when you see results you can branch out to charging people for it. The demand is there I'm sure. You just gotta prove you can deliver, and having a few very satisfied clients helps a lot.

Kinda like what psychics do when they enter the field.