Attracting a vibrational match!
I was wondering whether to post this or not. I do not want to focus on lack. But still, maybe I could do with some outside help.
The thing is, deep inside me, I know its coming. I know that for certain.
Most areas in my life are going amazing (I really owe a lot to Steve). And I usually feel like my heart is bursting with love these days, like its gonna explode.
I look and feel the best I ever have.
Im slim, healthy and good looking. Every morning when I look in the mirror Im usually very happy with what I see.
My social life is very happening. I have more friends then I can keep up with. I often have to choose between a few events to attend. I feel very loved.
My career is going great, I am really accomplishing more and more goals which once seemed impossible. I am reaching a much wider audience.
I enjoy more financial abundance then I ever have in my life. I can basically do whatever I want.
BUT my main dream is love! More then anything in the world I want to be with a man I love and who loves me. I want it to be a mature supportive stable monogamous relationship. I want to get married and have kids. I want to share this wonderful life with a companion!
Its not that Im a workaholic and donít have time. I keep my evenings and weekends work free. So I have time.
I do get a lot of attention from guys. Always have. Same today as when I was 21.
Every week, I meet someone new, usually more then one every week, at any social event I go to someone always takes my number.
I always have a few admirers at once, at the moment there are 3 consistent ones.
One is so poor and doesnít seem to have a great sense of humor. One is wealthy and smart but seems too old and generally unattractive to me. And one I like, but still doesnít feel so exciting. Heís been a good friend for months and last time we met we finally kissed. Heís been calling me everyday since, and I look forward to seeing him, but still- donít feel like hes the one. Oh and I have blind date on Friday morning.
The last time I was in a relationship with a man I was in love with, who I felt inspired by and who loved me back, it was 1994 and I was 20!
Up to now, some relationships I ended, some they ended. Its never a big loss because there hasnít been any that felt even remotely right. My longest relationship since 1994 has lasted 8.5 months, but the average has been about 4 months.
What do I want? A man who loves and appreciates me and I feel the same about him.
A man that I find attractive. both in looks and personality. He is at least as smart as me and has a great sense of humor. Who loves sex, loves nature and living healthy. Who has dreams. Who is strong. Who aspires to be happy. Who appreciates art (I am an artist). And is very open minded and curious. It would be nice if he earned enough money (doing what he loves) to enjoy the things he likes. And it would be amazing if he inspired me in some way, and would take the lead sometimes. Also, I want to live at least part of the year my Mediterranean hometown. Thatís where Im from. And my family is. Itís a great place.
I realized that the reason I am successful in other areas of my life is because Im confident in what I do, and I feel like I deserve it. It wasnt always like this but I changed that.
Nowadays I feel theres is little I cant achieve in this life. Whether its fame fortune or healing my body.
In the relationship topic I realize that my main problem is that Im very insecure. Much less now then when younger, but still I am.
Most people would describe me as very confident, even my exes, but truth is, when it comes to love, deep down Im still very insecure.
For instance its hard for me to imagine that someone really nice, loyal, smart, attractive etcÖ would be into me! Which is silly because, why the hell not? Im kind, loyal, smart, attractive myself. So I end up attracting all these not so great guys. Who are not a vibrational match for me, so even if I want us to, we just cannot fully connect.
There has been nothing normal about my life for good and for bad. Ive experienced more in this life then most people do in a few lifetimes and Im only 36.
But maybe the two main reasons I am insecure are:
1. My mother, who I was very close to, left the family house to live in a far away land with another man when I was 15;
2. I spent the 1st few years of my life in hospital, again far from away my mother.
Growing up in a childrenís hospital, many of my friends were dying, or wrapped in bandages from head to toe with small holes for their eyes and mouths. Often I was alone there. My dad was there, but he couldnt be with me indoors in a hospital with me all the time and I remember long periods of being alone. So I guess abandonment has been an issue.
I donít blame anyone. I wouldnít even want to change these events if I could, I am proud of myself, but still realistically, I know these events affected my confidence deeply.
Nowadays Im fine physically and have very close and loving relationship with my parents and siblings.
Ive taken spiritual relationship courses, I worked coach for a year, I did a relationship EFT course. You name it, Ive tried it.
Any suggestions on how to attract someone who a vibrational match?
I intend to attract this person by the end of 2010! As I grow, he's coming closer.
Danas, your post is so heartfelt, had me in tears.
This is what stood out to me.
You can't not attract something that is a vibrational match. And it's evident from your statement above. I can't imagine myself having that belief!
Ill give you an example.
Few weeks ago I was with a guy I really liked. There he was in my living room. But every other sentence of his was "Im so broke and life is so hard"
I wanted to be with him. But he said, he cant be with me now because even though he loves me, he just cant, I scare him, Im too happy and and following my dreams while he feels like a faliure.
Another example. Last week. Another guy I like a lot, comes over, and all I wanna do is cuddle. but he doesnt stop complaining about what a wreck his life is, and then leaves. I try to touch him, but he says he cant, he isnt open to that now....
I was in a relationship in the past with both these guys.
Both came very briefly back into my life again and left. And it suddenly hit me that they didnt reject me this time (even though technically they did), but rather they couldnt be with me because Im happy and optimistic and they were just too down for me. Seeing me in my beautiful apt when they are struggling financially drove both these guys mad.
Its odd because they both came in less then a month, and their reaction to me was similar.
So thats why I said that even if I want to be with someone, if we dont match, we cant be together....
Danas, I kid you not, I can't be around any of the people you described. Whiners, bitchers, moaners........I just can't spend too much time around them. I don't care how much I like them. Seriously girl, let them go be with people who like to lend an ear to "woe is me" stories. That will create a vacuum for a kick-ass man to come and fill. But right now your space is congested with bitchers and moaners.
And people who can't be happy for you for being successful? Just love them into oblivion.........
I think for a woman as incredible as you seem, who's mastered the LOA so well, it's only a matter of time. He's around the corner. But it won't happen if you can't even imagine him being into you.
Thats really what i need to change at the core.
Its so deep rooted, its hard. but its changing. I use to neglect myself a lot. Now I take better care of myself.
In October I got an opportunity to leave my mediterranian hometown for NYC. Im so happy I did that. It feels almost like I ran away, leaving everything behind, but I did what I needed to.
Being here has given me a chance to be who I really am, and not what others expect me to be.
I was given a beautiful apartment, furnished with the most expensive furniture, in the best part of town, as if the universe is telling me- take this gift, because this is who you really are. back home my furniture was very cheap. I never thought I was worth it.
Here I have enough. I bought nice clothes too. I never in my life spent so much on myself. So I am taking action, telling myself I am worth much more. Its all changing fast. Thank you for your replies l!!
I'm sure your vibrational match is out there, the Universe just wants it to be a surprise ;). It often happens when you least expect it.
Wanting kids and all.
Don't worry you're still at the right age to have beautiful children, especially if you have a very healthy way of life.
You sound like a lovely woman, I wish for you that you attract the type of man you describe. Know that the very soul inside you deserves true happiness like anyone else does. I get the feeling though that with all in your life going your way, Mr Right is the next gift the universe will send you.
Im ready to let it go. Everything that has been holding me back, telling me Im worthy of all the good things in life except for love . Today Ill let go of those thoughts. I'll see how it goes
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