I need your thoughts

[eidnas]

Hi all, I'm new here and need some insight.
My husband of 26 years and I are going threw some stuff that I need help with.A few weeks back we got in a bad fight, I will admit I was a bitch and pushed it to the limit.
I Said "your dead and left the room,went to the bathroom.
He says he thought I was going for a gun witch we have way too many off in our house. He went into the bedroom and got a rifle and pointer it at me in the bathroom ,and said some very hurt full. I found out later from the police it was loaded.
All I wanted to do was to leave the house, witch I finely did. Before I left He said he was call the sheriff, witch he did. I drove a little ways down our road a parked the car where they ) the sheriff could see me as they had to drive past me to get to our house.
They came and talked to me and I told then I had been a Bitch but thought He ,my husband had crossed the line.
They went to our house and talked to him and ended up arresting him. When he went to court there was a automatic restraining order. He had to go to court a week after the arrest. The whole time between the arrest and the first court appearance he never called to see how I was. After there was a no contact order. HAHA.
Well after the court he called and ask if he came home would I call the police. I said no I didn't call them in the first place. He has been home for two weeks and had to go back to court agine soon. The only thing I ask him was to take responsibility for what he did. He said since I his wife I don't have to testify against him and we can't afford a big fine or him in jail. This is true.
I don't really know what I expect you all to tell me.
I believe in PD and have used it for years in some pretty tight spots to save my sanity.
I guess I just need some backbone.
Thanks For Your Time
eidnas

[mtrimpe]

I can't really give any advice since I really don't know your situation, but if I found myself screaming 'you're dead' at my husband I would leave him instantly.

If he then came back and pointed a gun at me I would leave him instantly no matter what the consequences might be. I'd walk out the door, take my children (if you have any) and head straight for the closest place I would call safe.

[Lychee]

Think about the emotional consequences to this. Deep down in your heart, do you really believe this relationship can be fixed? No one wants to be disrespected in that way, and his threats were very very serious and you were not being respectful as well. It is possible you are not standing up for yourself. Do you think it's maybe because you've been married for so long and you are afraid of being alone? Maybe it would be a good idea to remove things from your house which have the potential to cause harm to another person.

Did he ever show evidence of this behavior before? You said "haha" after no contact order...how do you really feel about that? Are you happy that your husband got taught a lesson? Do you really believe he's learned something?

[Steve Pavlina]

Maybe I'm missing something, but I see no evidence of love in your story. Is your marriage more than a habitual living arrangement?