How to help people who's close to you

[Haurum]

Hello friends,

What do you think is the best way to help your girlfriend shaping a better life regarding their professional lifes (economy), level of fitness, paradigms etc. I have pretty good results with just being around without judging like most other people do - but I consider to go more direct and effective. What's your perspective?

Thanks.

J

[Shaden]

First of all my best advice is to only help them if they whole-heartedly want to do so. Personal Growth is a choice we make and we should not go to the lengths of trying to force other people into doing so. It is a very personal commitment so actively trying to force other people onto the path of Personal Growth is only going to cause problems.

If they themselves have made the choice to pursue Personal Growth then there are some effective ways to help them with this growth. First of all - motivate them. Offer them encouraging words and criticism where due. If you feel they could be better, tell them so. If you think they're doing great, tell them so. Not only will this help with their own growth but it will significantly improve your own. You'll change your role and feel better about yourself - more self-esteem and confidence.

The second thing you can do is to compliment each other. Have deep discussions about all matters of Personal Growth. Learn from each others mistakes. Implement each others strategies for success. And don't get tied to thoughts of superiority. If you think your partner is better then you, use this as motivation and inspiration instead of as a source of jealousy.

Thirdly recommend things to each other. Point your partner in the direction of books that helped you or that you enjoyed and allow them to do the same - don't put their suggestions to one side. If you find a blog you like, tell your partner about it. Not only does this develop a sense of character but it's a great way to avoid time wasted trying to find inspirational material.

Finally work on goals together. Build a business together. Go running together. Raise a family together. Make love together (please follow that particular advice ) Just enjoy each other's presence and use this to increase your passion and drive in your Personal Growth.

[Angela]

Shaden, I loved your post! That was very well said. You've outlined a lovely partnership.

I think it's valuable to notice that if you're offering unsolicited advice to your girlfriend or you're complaining about her, then it's all about your personal growth, and not about her. But if you're being a stand for what you want for the relationship and are willing to talk out a plan with her that inspires you both, you'll be directly and effectively building a great life together.

Best wishes to you and please let us know how the process goes!