30 Day Trial: Referring to Women as Chicks

[Zach M]

Hello all, I have been lurking since November. This is my first post!

For the next thirty days I will refer to women as chicks. For far too long I have been the perpetually single nice guy. I am finally defying the anti-male 70's feminist garbage I was raised with!

My choice of the word was inspired by a recent conversation with a male friend of mine. He spoke it, and then backed up right away saying "I shouldn't call her a chick". The word is seen by some as disrespectful, and yet the men who are comfortable using it seem to have an easier time attracting women. Guys who are not tend to have difficulty, and I count myself among them.

[Coffeesmurf]

Welcome to the forums! Sounds like a very interesting 30 Day Trial. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes. I've been working to get rid of a lot of feminist beliefs myself. My mother is a feminist so unfortunately, I had accumulated quite a lot of them

By the way. Some of my acquaintances have enormous success picking up hot women in clubs by calling them ♥♥♥♥♥ - usually in the very first sentence. As in: "Hey.. how's it going, ♥♥♥♥♥?". Seriously. I'm not kidding. I've seen it work wonders on the most stunningly beautiful women. I'm pretty sure the women they take home might have an issue or two up their sleeve, though

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

I'm pretty sure the women they take home might have an issue or two up their sleeve, though

LOL!

[Zach M]

The experiment begins today: Erin Pavlina, if you are reading this, don't forget you are one beautiful chick!

I have written up more on the experiment on my blog.

[Zach M]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

By the way. Some of my acquaintances have enormous success picking up hot women in clubs by calling them ♥♥♥♥♥ - usually in the very first sentence. As in: "Hey.. how's it going, ♥♥♥♥♥?". Seriously. I'm not kidding. I've seen it work wonders on the most stunningly beautiful women. I'm pretty sure the women they take home might have an issue or two up their sleeve, though

I've noticed that too, and some also use "Ho". Those are too heavy weights for me to lift right now.

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

By the way. Some of my acquaintances have enormous success picking up hot women in clubs by calling them ♥♥♥♥♥ - usually in the very first sentence. As in: "Hey.. how's it going, ♥♥♥♥♥?". Seriously. I'm not kidding. I've seen it work wonders on the most stunningly beautiful women. I'm pretty sure the women they take home might have an issue or two up their sleeve, though

It's pretty self-serving to assume that "stunningly beautiful women" have "issues" isn't it. Now you are justified in not talking to them.

Why are you judging them for enjoying being called ♥♥♥♥♥?

[bunnyman]

The word chick is usually well-received when it is preceded by a positive adjective, e.g. cool, beautiful, or smart.

Although, if the goal here is to move away from feminist conditioning, you could use adjectives like hot, or sexy.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Chick isn't usually considered all that offensive for most people I know, unless it's said with some kind of condecension or disdain.

However, if someone called me a ♥♥♥♥♥ or a ho in the club (as a come on), I would laugh and turn and walk the other way...it's just too funny. If they said it as a slander, I would take off my earrings and knock 'em out (JUST KIDDING).

[Angela]

I don't think the word "chick" would be offensive, either -- it would just, I think, sound absurdly affected and phony. But that might be kind of a fun intro, if you do it you're lighthearted and fun and engaging about it, rather than seriously macho in your approach, in which case I think you'd probably be spurned or ridiculed.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

I've been working to get rid of a lot of feminist beliefs myself. My mother is a feminist so unfortunately, I had accumulated quite a lot of them

Are you sure your beliefs are feminist, and not misandrist? There is a big difference.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Oh, and I forgot to say welcome, Zach. Nice to have you here.

[Angela]

Oh, yeah, welcome, Zach! A big welcome to the new boy toy from all the chicks.

[Captain Drywall]

I suggest you check out Johnny Soporno before you try to fix every issue you ever had with "chicks" with just one word change.

[Zach M]

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone! And I don't mind being called a boy toy. Wind me up any time!

As for Johnny Soporno, I've look at his website briefly, and I'm not sure I want to study from a man with devil horns. I do want to remain a nice guy. I recently ordered two books that should keep me busy for a while:

"How to Approach Hot Women, Date Them, & Have Lots of Sex...Without Being an *******" by Cooper Newman

"The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida

Fifth Post! I should have an avatar now, right?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Zach Matley

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone! And I don't mind being called a boy toy. Wind me up any time!

That's wonderful.

Johnny's playfully devilish, by the way, but he is, in my estimation, a very good man -- definitely not an as*hole -- with lots of very helpful things to say to both men and women who want great relationships.

[rei]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Chick isn't usually considered all that offensive for most people I know, unless it's said with some kind of condecension or disdain.

However, if someone called me a ♥♥♥♥♥ or a ho in the club (as a come on), I would laugh and turn and walk the other way...it's just too funny. If they said it as a slander, I would take off my earrings and knock 'em out (JUST KIDDING).

yeah, usually the only people who react when *I* call women "chicks" are my female friends who are very much into feminism. that 'don't open the door for me' flavor.

the chicks i see most of the time consider it a neutral term. but i have also had a few more-PC-minded males look at me funny when i call myself a chick. the word has no charge for me. and the ♥♥♥♥♥/ho stuff has been used so much it doesn't have a charge at this point either. if i were in an argument with someone and they called me a ♥♥♥♥♥, i would see it as evidence of successful assertiveness - and i would also see how we might get to a win/win later on (if there would be a later on), if that also meant their valid needs weren't being met at all.

interesting 30-day trial, i hope it brings you what you're looking for. welcome! glad you came out of the shadows

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Zach Matley

My choice of the word was inspired by a recent conversation with a male friend of mine. He spoke it, and then backed up right away saying "I shouldn't call her a chick". The word is seen by some as disrespectful, and yet the men who are comfortable using it seem to have an easier time attracting women. Guys who are not tend to have difficulty, and I count myself among them.

This kind of makes sense, because when you hang out with your male friends, you probably say hanging out with "The boys" or "the guys"

I get referred to as a dude, a guy, or even a boy. I'm basically never referred to as a man, at the age of 28, and I don't really care, my life isn't that much different to how I was when I was 12...

So why do you need to stress "women" as if you're wanting a formal relationship with them..

I don't think the term you use is really a problem, it's just that you're maybe putting women on a pedestal, but using formal language with them.. or something along those lines?

So maybe you want to talk with women in a playful friendly way rather than a serious & formal manner? and maybe calling them chicks will be a useful 30 day trial to go in that direction..

I started saying women, because I used to call them "Girls" all the time, and thought maybe I was being immature

[Coffeesmurf]

Originally Posted by yossarian

It's pretty self-serving to assume that "stunningly beautiful women" have "issues" isn't it. Now you are justified in not talking to them.

Why are you judging them for enjoying being called ♥♥♥♥♥?

If you read my post again, you see that you made the connection between stunningly beautiful women and issues, not me. My point was merely that any woman, beautiful or otherwise, who responds positively to being put down verbally might have some issues.. and yes, that was a judgement on my part.

As for me using their alledged issues as an excuse to not talk to them, I don't know where you got that from. I'm all for hot sex with issue-ridden sexy chicks! In fact, the best sex of my life was with a hot girl who had issues up the wazoo.

[Coffeesmurf]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Are you sure your beliefs are feminist, and not misandrist? There is a big difference.

I think they are/were a nifty mixture of misandry and ultra-feminism - and I think there's a fine line between the two. But that's a whole other discussion

[Holistic Star]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

In fact, the best sex of my life was with a hot girl who had issues up the wazoo.

You should tell her there are creams available to treat that



'Chick' is all about context. It can be cheeky playful, or intended to be insulting. It's how you say it, not what you say. My father-in-law calls me 'chook' which I think is cute. One of my friends calls all women 'honey' which after spending time with him I started doing. I often refer to people as 'poppet' and I've not been punched yet! Likewise I've had people call me 'doll', 'sweetheart' and 'pet' in a nice way.

I struggle more with words like '♥♥♥♥♥' and 'ho'. I don't think I would respond well to 'ho' in any context. '♥♥♥♥♥' would be ok in certain context. i.e. I joined a site called 'heartless-bitches' - but that was women reclaiming the word ♥♥♥♥♥ and seeing it as a compliment for being strong women rather than an insult.

Any guy coming up to me in a club with 'alright ♥♥♥♥♥?' would most likely get a 'tosser' in return. (or probably the more British 'wanker' depending on my mood).

But then I don't have issues up my wazoo!

[Zach M]

Indeed any word is about context. Really, "chick" is one of the 11,881,376 possible combinations of 5 letters. It is we who give meaning and power to these symbols. For whatever reason, those who made "chick" a negative term had a strong influence on my past, and now I am fighting back.

[Angela]

I like the avatar photo you've got there, Boy Toy! Good to see your nice face.

Of course we give meaning to the words we use and hear! And different women will hear different meanings in what you say. So, what is it you want to communicate to the women you call "chick"? You say you're fighting back against people who made it a negative term and had a strong influence on your past -- you are fighting back against people in your past, in your present conversations? I don't understand how that fight will help you. Or is it more like you're fighting something inside you (the effects of the negative influence)? Or feminism itself? In any case, what is it you want to communicate to the women you call "chick" -- what is it you want them to hear you saying?

[Zach M]

Originally Posted by Angela

Or is it more like you're fighting something inside you (the effects of the negative influence)?

You've got it. Has anyone clicked the link to my blog yet? I have provided more details.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Zach Matley

You've got it. Has anyone clicked the link to my blog yet? I have provided more details.

I did, and I'm still not clear on how referring to women as "chicks" will help you get the results you want -- or even what, exactly the results you want are. So far, it sounds mostly like lashing out.

What's your thinking on that? What's your ultimate aim or purpose that this trial serves?

[Zach M]

Those are good questions that deserve a well thought out answer. Stay tuned.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Zach Matley

Those are good questions that deserve a well thought out answer. Stay tuned.

I'm on pins and needles!

[Zach M]

Be patient. It took a lot of energy to put so much of my life story out on the internet. Today I'm recuperating.

[MidasGirl]

I've yet to come across a man that will get away with calling women bitches to their face other than Mario Cantone. But he's gay so who cares?

Nothing is ever about the word but about the delivery and the person using the word. This is why double standards seem to exist as far as what certain people will consider offensive or not.

But I've never thought of chick as anything other than just old fashioned. My ex likes to call women he's fond of 'chica'. Why not be a bit more creative rather than doing what everyone else does?

[Zach M]

Hopefully my latest blog entry answers your questions:
Referring to Women as Chicks, Day 2

The main point is that I'm not trying to attract women with a particular word. I'm working on being comfortable saying it.

[Angela]

Ok.... I'm still not totally clear on this, but what I'm hearing is that you will get totally comfortable saying the word "chick" because you believe it's offensive (especially to feminists, right?) and you want to get over your reluctance to offend (especially feminists), because that will mean you're confident and full of masculine power, or at least it's a start. Is that right?