Goodbye Ceremony?

[seeker5]

What are suggestions for a nice good-bye ceremony for us to end a truly amazing "fling"/"short-term relationship"?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by seeker5

What are suggestions for a nice good-bye ceremony for us to end a truly amazing "fling"/"short-term relationship"?

That is an amazing thing to do! How about doing an anti-wedding -- get dressed up, write nice vows to each other about everything you have appreciated about one another and what you wish for each other's future, a promise to let each other go with love, some yummy cake and maybe some champagne, a nice kiss, and hasta la vista, baby!

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by Angela

That is an amazing thing to do! How about doing an anti-wedding -- get dressed up, write nice vows to each other about everything you have appreciated about one another and what you wish for each other's future, a promise to let each other go with love, some yummy cake and maybe some champagne, a nice kiss, and hasta la vista, baby!

That's a great idea!

[seeker5]

Thanks for the suggestion Angela, there are some great ideas there that I like!

[dendennz]

Originally Posted by seeker5

What are suggestions for a nice good-bye ceremony for us to end a truly amazing "fling"/"short-term relationship"?

Slightly off topic, but with a name like Seeker, the group "The Seekers" sang the song "The Carnival is Over" in the late 60's/early 70's...

o/~ Say goodbye.. my own true lover.... ~/o



Just hit me when I saw the topic then saw that you had posted it

Cheers,

Jenny.

[Michael Chui]

I'm only chiming in to say I'm curious to hear other suggestions. I'm coming up with a blank and I'm going to want to do something like this myself; the anti-wedding thing is a great idea, but not something I'd go for, unfortunately.

[Gene]

I love you just the way you are and I will always care about you. I hope you find happiness and joy in your life as you follow your dreams.

I don't know if this is something you would say but it is what I believe I would say in a similar circumstance.

[Plays With Life]

Go on one final adventure together.

Take a week long trip to a nearby country, through an area neither of you have been.

OK, maybe it's not really a ceremony. But that's something memorable I would probably like to do to close off a great relationship.

[ssandra]

If you do it alone, putting away her stuff, or his stuff, can be a good way. Purposefully put them away, don't just throw them out.

If you do it together, why not go out for a nice last diner in which you tell each other what you really liked about each other and what you learned from the relationship and how much you are looking forward to being friends?

I believe that maybe you don't need a ceremony. I mean, you could just stay friends, if you are still friendly? Go out together, mail each other, have diner etc.

[ellie]

This guy did a break-up party How to Throw a Breakup Party | Exile Lifestyle

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I believe that maybe you don't need a ceremony. I mean, you could just stay friends, if you are still friendly? Go out together, mail each other, have diner etc.

When something good ends in a good way, we tend to want to punctuate it with an acknowledgement. Celebrations are a good way to make it clear that, while it was good, it's over now, and there's new stuff come tomorrow. That's what dessert after dinner, birthday parties, graduations, weddings, funeral wakes, etc. are for.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

When something good ends in a good way, we tend to want to punctuate it with an acknowledgement. Celebrations are a good way to make it clear that, while it was good, it's over now, and there's new stuff come tomorrow. That's what dessert after dinner, birthday parties, graduations, weddings, funeral wakes, etc. are for.

Ok.. in that way I can see it working better

[seeker5]

We had our goodbye ceremony tonight, and I thought I'd share how it went.

We decided not to call it the goodbye ceremony because that sounded too tragic. We called it the transition ceremony because we were close friends beforehand, and we see ourselves keeping a friendship between us. Therefore, we were celebrating the transition to our new friendship.

We started off by expressing all that we were grateful in our experience with each other. It was quite touching to hear each other express in a heartfelt manner all those things we were grateful for. Even coming up with my own list before we expressed our gratitude made me appreciate even more what we had gone through.

Then we expressed all the lessons we learned from our involvement with each other which was quite substantial as it has been quite a growth experience for both of us.

Finally, we expressed our wish for each other's future, including wishing more wonderful experiences for each other with other people.

We then kissed sweetly and happily considered each other as having graduated!

We thought it might be a sad ceremony, but it wasn't at all. It helped that we had been working for a few days on letting each other go. Thus, it was very touching, heartfelt and truly wonderful experience, and we are grateful and happy to have gone through it.

[blossom]

I think this would really help alot, since most people don't mark the occasion, and it can leave emotional residue that is harder to process without some sort of ritual to mark endings and new beginnings. I think this is a sweet idea.

I did attend a friends split up ceremony a few years ago. They both decided to share the moment with all their friends, and it was very much how you described your ceremony Seeker5! I found it so unfamiliar initially, since I'd never heard of such a thing before.

Even though I think it helped my friend alot with moving on, it wasn't the case for her ex. But I think he had real abandonment issues, cos he didn't get over it for a few years after that. He went really downhill infact, and ended up pretty unstable actually. Maybe his intentions were not the same as hers? He just really clung to her, even though she'd totally moved on, so maybe it doesn't work for everyone.

But it sounds like it was a positive experience for you seeker!

[Holistic Star]

That sounds lovely Seeker - what a great way to transition a relationship.

Shame you didn't get to have cake aswell though

[seeker5]

Even though I think it helped my friend alot with moving on, it wasn't the case for her ex. But I think he had real abandonment issues, cos he didn't get over it for a few years after that. He went really downhill infact, and ended up pretty unstable actually. Maybe his intentions were not the same as hers? He just really clung to her, even though she'd totally moved on, so maybe it doesn't work for everyone.

Seems like he had attachment issues that he didn't do the proper inner work to let go of. Both of us did some inner work to let go of each other, and I'll do some more inner work to make sure I've completely let go of it. The ceremony is a great process to go through, but may not be enough for all situations.

Originally Posted by Holistic Star

Shame you didn't get to have cake aswell though

Hehe, we had hot tea, which felt much better

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Both of us did some inner work to let go of each other, and I'll do some more inner work to make sure I've completely let go of it.

Seeker this sounds like such a positive and mature way to end a relationship, at least as it was. The word 'transition' is an apt way to put it as well.

Of course, there are bound to be some attachments - "Parting is such sweet sorrow."

Congratulations to you!