How can you know what kind of people you want to meet?

[Boreas]

I am an introvert type, (25 male FYI) I am pretty happy on my own, but find I am awkward and clumsy in crowds, and I want to change that. Also, I think it wouldn't be bad to have company now and then, having a girlfriend seems healthy, but this is really something I am ambivalent about.

So if I am going to meet people, what kind of people do I want to be my friends? I think this might be part of the problem with my ambivalence...I don't know what I want.

After reading a few things on Steve's blog I decided to go out to a bar, be confident and start a conversation! Yesterday I did it! I have never done it before and it felt really good. I felt more at ease, and will feel more at ease the next bar I go to.

Another thing I noticed was that sitting at the bar I could look around and get a feel for what kind of people I would like to talk to, and which ones I would rather avoid. My theory is that the more you are around people, and the more people you know, the better you will be able to choose what kind of friends you want.

Anyone have other thoughts on this question?

[C33]

You just took the first step towards meeting other people.

Usually, the kind of people you want to meet, are people who share the same values.

Most people want to be involved with positive, friendly people, so you should have no problems meeting others, it you have the same positive attitude you demonstrated by just going out by yourself.

I have been going out by myself for about 7 years now, and I am a woman. Most of my friends think that I am crazy and that I will attract weirdos and leery men. But it is not true at all, and I have found that most people going to bars, just want to connect with other human beings in a non-pressure way. Watch your drinking so that you are always in charge of yourself and all will be well.

The more you stretch your boundaries, the more people you will find with the same outlook!

Good luck on your journey!

[Boreas]

Thank you! That is very encouraging! I am interested to hear if you have made any long time friends from your tavels to bars? Or do you only like to chat? I can understand either, as I like to chat with people even if I know there won't be any connection afterward.

I was thinking of going to a bar tonight (Friday night) but it is cold outside and it is midnight and I am tired, so I think I won't push it. I think it is going to be a while till it gets into my system as a habit. However, I went last night and really enjoyed it, and I am going to make it a point to go every Thursday (I am sure an extrovert would flip reading that!)

[Shaden]

Really it's a matter of experience. The people you're going to have the best times with are those who share certain core values but who express them differently/think differently. Nothing bores me more then people who agree with me constantly.

Meeting unique people who believe different things to you is not only a great way to have a good time but it also expands your knowledge about people, makes you less ignorant about other beliefs and above all educates me. It also gives you a concrete reason to express the core values that are most important to you.