Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Michael Chui · 02-13-2007, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by openeyes

Basically I have many friendships that are very affectionate.

I've always had a significant amount of trouble differentiating a friendship from a "romantic relationship", "girlfriend/boyfriend", or "married/spouse". I've been offered a couple ideas, and there's one in particular that strikes me as true, but I'm curious what other people think the difference is.

I'm aware that there are many different levels and types of friendship, but what is it about any of those particular terms that say, "This person isn't 'just a friend'."?

Angela · 02-13-2007, 02:12 PM

Michael, I think you're way ahead of the game!

Michael Chui · 02-13-2007, 07:14 PM

Then people should catch up.

Angela · 02-13-2007, 07:17 PM

I think some extraordinarily intelligent and compassionate woman will do just that!

Shaden · 02-14-2007, 06:58 PM

The difference is physical intimacy, the exploration of someone else's body allows connection on an unprecedented level. And of course the social convention is to label this person a 'partner' and to have only one of them... unless you're a mormon of course.

openeyes · 05-16-2007, 02:17 PM

In my friendships the line is blurred much more than usual, but there are still some differences (though if you went by how we behaved in public, it may not be so noticeable). Sometimes we may kiss, and on rare occasions we may even shower together, dance in the nude, or do a bit of "exploring", but we don't regularly make out and are unlikely to have sex. We can talk about most anything, are very touchy, and in general just light up when we're together. Jealousy isn't really an issue, nor is possessiveness. We're much more group than couple oriented, opening up rather than partnering off.

Often the above is more than enough, and dating doesn't seem nearly as necessary as when I didn't have friends I could be so close to. I would only accept a long term relationship with someone if it didn't prevent much of my interactions with friends. In dating/courtship, making out, having sex regularly, and much more intense physical exploration are expected, along with quite a bit more one on one time in general. I already have more emotional closeness with my friends than I've ever had with someone I dated, though if I find someone sufficiently compatible for having children that may change.

Jenny · 05-27-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I'm aware that there are many different levels and types of friendship, but what is it about any of those particular terms that say, "This person isn't 'just a friend'."?

Michael,
I don't understand your question. Which "particular terms" are you referring to?

Michael Chui · 05-27-2007, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenny

Michael,
I don't understand your question. Which "particular terms" are you referring to?

"romantic relationship", "girlfriend/boyfriend", or "married/spouse".

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02-13-2007, 02:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	Michael, I think you're way ahead of the game!

02-13-2007, 07:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Michael Chui Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Seattle, Washington, USA Posts: 3,977	Then people should catch up.

02-13-2007, 07:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	I think some extraordinarily intelligent and compassionate woman will do just that!

02-14-2007, 06:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
Shaden Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Gainford, England Posts: 375	The difference is physical intimacy, the exploration of someone else's body allows connection on an unprecedented level. And of course the social convention is to label this person a 'partner' and to have only one of them... unless you're a mormon of course.

05-16-2007, 02:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
openeyes Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,629	In my friendships the line is blurred much more than usual, but there are still some differences (though if you went by how we behaved in public, it may not be so noticeable). Sometimes we may kiss, and on rare occasions we may even shower together, dance in the nude, or do a bit of "exploring", but we don't regularly make out and are unlikely to have sex. We can talk about most anything, are very touchy, and in general just light up when we're together. Jealousy isn't really an issue, nor is possessiveness. We're much more group than couple oriented, opening up rather than partnering off. Often the above is more than enough, and dating doesn't seem nearly as necessary as when I didn't have friends I could be so close to. I would only accept a long term relationship with someone if it didn't prevent much of my interactions with friends. In dating/courtship, making out, having sex regularly, and much more intense physical exploration are expected, along with quite a bit more one on one time in general. I already have more emotional closeness with my friends than I've ever had with someone I dated, though if I find someone sufficiently compatible for having children that may change.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums