Personal Development for Smart People Forums

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

 

Go Back   Personal Development for Smart People Forums > Personal Development > Social & Relationships

Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education


Welcome to the Personal Development for Smart People Forums, the place for lively, intelligent discussion of all personal growth issues -- physical, mental, financial, social, emotional, spiritual, and more.

You're currently viewing as a guest, which gives you limited read-only access. By joining our free community, you'll be able to post your own messages, access many members-only features, see the new messages posted since your last visit, and of course remove this header message. Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please join today.

If you arrived here from a search engine, you may want to explore the main site first, which includes hundreds of deep and insightful articles on a variety of personal development topics.
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-05-2009, 04:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default Humor in Conversation

I really want to add more Humor on my daily conversation and make it light yet meaningful.. How can i do that ?

as I think this will improve my overall quality of life.

How can we do that?
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2009, 03:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
marinik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Where Living and Loving and Laughing are written into the Constitution
Posts: 3,011
marinik is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PerDev View Post
I really want to add more Humor on my daily conversation and make it light yet meaningful.. How can i do that ?

as I think this will improve my overall quality of life.

How can we do that?
Watch what and how other people (really funny) do it. Start slow and "small" and gradually build up, but never go over board, and find your own style, the best way is making subtle jokes on your own account. Too much of anything is just too much. It has been one of my strongest weapons in life. I can make anybody laugh! And they love it. (and me, I mean love )
__________________
Life shrinks and grows proportionally to the courage of the one who lives it.
marinik is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2009, 03:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Tanja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,139
Tanja is on a distinguished road
Default

Something similar was discussed in this thread: Too serious?.

You might find it useful too.
__________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf
Do or do not. There is no try.
Tanja is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2009, 05:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
James81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,821
James81 is on a distinguished road
Default

Immerse yourself in humorous types of stuff. Watch stand up comics, read funny stuff, etc.

The more you surround yourself with stuff, the more you tend to take on the traits of the things you surround yourself with.

Part of the reason why I felt an extreme need to abandon personal development products for the most part. I found myself becoming a bore and that drove me nuts. lol
__________________
http://www.soulsasylum.org

" Show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWBji5jGQ8s
James81 is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2009, 12:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 279
Pequod is on a distinguished road
Default

The most important thing is to be comfortable!

When I feel comfortable, relaxt and confident, people often say that I'm very humorous. Yet when I feel not so confident, my mind tightens up, I censor what I say before saying it and I'm perceived a very serious dude. The difference is like day and night!

So how to be more comfortable, relaxt and confident?

For me it was a combination of challeging myself, extending my comfort zone, 'inner' work (emotional release, changing beliefs etc), and training my social skills. For example I started to do improvisation theater, became member of Toastmasters, and gave myself little excercises like chatting up a stranger during lunchbreak, or speaking for an hour without first censoring my words.

After I had learned the skills, I knew what to do and how to do it, but often I still felt a knot in my stomach while doing it. So I switched to emotional healing and belief change. This was the most intense period, but also the most rewarding. Nowadays I usually feel confident in any social setting. If someone told me a few years ago how brimming with energy I am and how socially confident I feel most of the time, I would never have believed it!

All this took a lot of time and sometimes a lot of balls, so patience and courage are also important. Yet if you stick with it, the results can be amazing. I went from a painfully shy guy that had trouble picking up the phone to a guy that regularly gets complimented on his social skills.

Amazing improvement is definately possible. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride!

Last edited by Pequod; 11-06-2009 at 12:40 PM.
Pequod is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2009, 03:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan, USA
Posts: 19
Johnny Skosnik is on a distinguished road
Default

Steve has quite a few thoughts on this. Also, consider joining these guys, or at least sitting in a few meetings.
__________________
Personal development can not occur in a vacuum. Meet people and join organizations who share your interests and goals.
Johnny Skosnik is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2009, 07:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,940
ar81 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PerDev View Post
I really want to add more Humor on my daily conversation and make it light yet meaningful.. How can i do that ?

as I think this will improve my overall quality of life.

How can we do that?
1.Be happy
2.Feel comfortable, make people feel comfortable
3.Discover the type of sense of humor of your audience
4.Exaggerate, compare without offending
__________________
Freedom - When people learn to embrace criticism about politicians, since politicians are just employees like you and me.
ar81 is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 04:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
dulaney0330's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 356
dulaney0330 is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to dulaney0330
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanja View Post
Something similar was discussed in this thread: Too serious?.

You might find it useful too.
It was useful to me!
__________________
We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
~Carl Jung
dulaney0330 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 06:11 AM   #9 (permalink)
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 15
Guru Shakti is on a distinguished road
Wink Lot's of high fives!

This might sound funny and cheesy! But, we really like high fives in our home. People are way too serious and have way too many rules. My husband and I like to joke around with our kids. We do high fives all the time, and at family dinners we are absolutely funny.

Most people want to sit quietly at dinner, and have their kids have perfect manners. I tried that and found out very quickly, it is so not our family. Once I let go and allowed myself to relax, it was ok to have fun and enjoy.

Just relax, and allow yourself to find the humor and fun in your life.
__________________
FREE Video Reveals "The #1 Secret to Unleash Your Self Esteem Now!"
>>>>> RockStar Secrets To Life! <<<<<
Guru Shakti is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 06:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes You are saying is very much help me I believe
I think I have to create one unique small joke (Proven on some people) and one liner or dialog which make people curious, laugh and smoothen
conversation. something that i can use in my daily conversation.

I think particular way of laugh will also helpful.



Quote:
Originally Posted by marinik View Post
Watch what and how other people (really funny) do it. Start slow and "small" and gradually build up, but never go over board, and find your own style, the best way is making subtle jokes on your own account. Too much of anything is just too much. It has been one of my strongest weapons in life. I can make anybody laugh! And they love it. (and me, I mean love )
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 06:54 AM   #11 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes I believe environment will make different and specially those kind of people who just naturally find out the wholetogether different ligter commedy aspect of the topic we discuss ..
I am really fan of this kind of people .. They are amazing .. and they are so anturally comeout with creative relating the topic we discuss with the humorous angle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by James81 View Post
Immerse yourself in humorous types of stuff. Watch stand up comics, read funny stuff, etc.

The more you surround yourself with stuff, the more you tend to take on the traits of the things you surround yourself with.

Part of the reason why I felt an extreme need to abandon personal development products for the most part. I found myself becoming a bore and that drove me nuts. lol
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 06:56 AM   #12 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

You write serious

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pequod View Post
The most important thing is to be comfortable!

When I feel comfortable, relaxt and confident, people often say that I'm very humorous. Yet when I feel not so confident, my mind tightens up, I censor what I say before saying it and I'm perceived a very serious dude. The difference is like day and night!

So how to be more comfortable, relaxt and confident?

For me it was a combination of challeging myself, extending my comfort zone, 'inner' work (emotional release, changing beliefs etc), and training my social skills. For example I started to do improvisation theater, became member of Toastmasters, and gave myself little excercises like chatting up a stranger during lunchbreak, or speaking for an hour without first censoring my words.

After I had learned the skills, I knew what to do and how to do it, but often I still felt a knot in my stomach while doing it. So I switched to emotional healing and belief change. This was the most intense period, but also the most rewarding. Nowadays I usually feel confident in any social setting. If someone told me a few years ago how brimming with energy I am and how socially confident I feel most of the time, I would never have believed it!

All this took a lot of time and sometimes a lot of balls, so patience and courage are also important. Yet if you stick with it, the results can be amazing. I went from a painfully shy guy that had trouble picking up the phone to a guy that regularly gets complimented on his social skills.

Amazing improvement is definately possible. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride!
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 07:01 AM   #13 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes Toastmaster can be proved breakthrough idea for me ..
As my long term goal is to switched the career so this will help me in it .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Skosnik View Post
Steve has quite a few thoughts on this. Also, consider joining these guys, or at least sitting in a few meetings.
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 07:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes may be one thing that will help me is to always checkign consciously if i am not getting too serious and make conversation as light and fun as possible.

See I try to put humor in conversation and guess what
I failed miserably .. i have to ask the other person that it was Joke



Quote:
Originally Posted by ar81 View Post
1.Be happy
2.Feel comfortable, make people feel comfortable
3.Discover the type of sense of humor of your audience
4.Exaggerate, compare without offending
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 07:05 AM   #15 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

So i think tone, Boday language and presentation is more important than content. specially in the first phase.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PerDev View Post
Yes may be one thing that will help me is to always checkign consciously if i am not getting too serious and make conversation as light and fun as possible.

See I try to put humor in conversation and guess what
I failed miserably .. i have to ask the other person that it was Joke
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 07:07 AM   #16 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

yaa Sure, This is my one of the ultimate goal.. as this will add passion, love and spice and learnign into our life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guru Shakti View Post
This might sound funny and cheesy! But, we really like high fives in our home. People are way too serious and have way too many rules. My husband and I like to joke around with our kids. We do high fives all the time, and at family dinners we are absolutely funny.

Most people want to sit quietly at dinner, and have their kids have perfect manners. I tried that and found out very quickly, it is so not our family. Once I let go and allowed myself to relax, it was ok to have fun and enjoy.

Just relax, and allow yourself to find the humor and fun in your life.
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 08:53 AM   #17 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Indiana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 469
Indiana is on a distinguished road
Default

Some of the funniest things people say are just what they are REALLY thinking in a situation. Having the courage to say those things when it's unexpected makes it funny. Try being more in touch with what you're socially expected NOT to say (as long as it's not derogatory to others) and people will find your honesty funny (and relieving!).
Indiana is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2009, 05:49 AM   #18 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

Yaa, and It looks natural to them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indiana View Post
Some of the funniest things people say are just what they are REALLY thinking in a situation. Having the courage to say those things when it's unexpected makes it funny. Try being more in touch with what you're socially expected NOT to say (as long as it's not derogatory to others) and people will find your honesty funny (and relieving!).
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2009, 03:57 PM   #19 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,940
ar81 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PerDev View Post
Yes may be one thing that will help me is to always checkign consciously if i am not getting too serious and make conversation as light and fun as possible.

See I try to put humor in conversation and guess what
I failed miserably .. i have to ask the other person that it was Joke
That's because you may try to be so rational, that a silly joke ends up being rational, not silly and crazy.

Also notice that just like with music, there are different types of humor. So if nobody has a laugh it could be a joke telling problem, or just aiming at the wrong audience.

In my case I use to make jokes when I feel comfortable. I use to joke a lot with my wife, and she does too.

I also write humor news for my friends. Example of humor news: Inventor develops supernova engine. He got to pack the power of a supernova, but it poses the challenge of not having astronauts killed and structural damage. The joke itself is silly, but as I talk about it as if it was serious, people laugh.

In another humor news, "skeptics blame NASA launches for climate change".
Or "great depression was a worldwide psychiatric crisis of humanity expert says".

It is just stupid, but as you try to make craziest studpidity, it ends up more funny. If it is not funny it is because it is not crazy enough.
__________________
Freedom - When people learn to embrace criticism about politicians, since politicians are just employees like you and me.
ar81 is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2009, 04:47 AM   #20 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 444
PerDev is on a distinguished road
Default

Yes, This line help me becomming more seriously crazy

If it is not funny it is because it is not crazy enough.






Quote:
Originally Posted by ar81 View Post
That's because you may try to be so rational, that a silly joke ends up being rational, not silly and crazy.

Also notice that just like with music, there are different types of humor. So if nobody has a laugh it could be a joke telling problem, or just aiming at the wrong audience.

In my case I use to make jokes when I feel comfortable. I use to joke a lot with my wife, and she does too.

I also write humor news for my friends. Example of humor news: Inventor develops supernova engine. He got to pack the power of a supernova, but it poses the challenge of not having astronauts killed and structural damage. The joke itself is silly, but as I talk about it as if it was serious, people laugh.

In another humor news, "skeptics blame NASA launches for climate change".
Or "great depression was a worldwide psychiatric crisis of humanity expert says".

It is just stupid, but as you try to make craziest studpidity, it ends up more funny. If it is not funny it is because it is not crazy enough.
PerDev is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Fun and Humor Time Shamou Fun & Recreation 1283 Yesterday 01:35 AM
Humor Skills stabory Social & Relationships 4 11-24-2007 03:58 PM
Religious Humor Angela Fun & Recreation 25 10-30-2007 04:15 PM
Life Without a God (humor) Michael Chui Spirituality, Consciousness, & Awareness 6 03-15-2007 03:05 AM
The key to humor... nvictor Fun & Recreation 4 02-05-2007 01:02 PM


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.1.0
Copyright © 2008 by Pavlina LLC