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11-04-2009, 07:59 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3
 |  flirting
Ok thoughts on this please. There is a man who I am attracted to and flirt with in a fun and friendly way (no bunny boiling). He is very flirty to me and has said several times he thinks I'm attractive. We are both married and I could never imagine being unfaithful. We have been together for 22yrs. So, is this wrong? It feels nice when we are together being daft though we are serious sometimes. Thoughts please |
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11-04-2009, 08:04 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere
Posts: 9,713
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i don't have enough details to answer with any certainty, but if you are asking about whether it is wrong, you may already be answering your own question. this is not my own opinion about it (meaning i'm basing my response on what you said more than i'm basing it on my own moral code), and what i'm saying could be way off.
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11-04-2009, 08:11 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere
Posts: 9,713
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i think people believe it's wrong because that's one of the main ways we keep alive the institution of marriage/monogamy. without those moral imperatives it might fall apart (more than it already has in the last 50 years). yes i am having a cynical/more-realistic-than-optimistic day so far  i leave space for the tide to turn.
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11-04-2009, 08:18 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3
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Are we really meant to just settle with one person until we die? Where did this begin? The bible? So someone tells us to live with one person forever and that is that? I'm not saying I want to leave ( I don't) or saying I want to sleep with someone else ( I don't). I am just going through of phase of questioning EVERYTHING I am used to accepting and questioning whether something is right just because we are socially conditioned to accept it. Who made these rules and why? Sorry it's been a strange week  |
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11-04-2009, 08:30 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere
Posts: 9,713
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hey i did not say it was right to distribute pro-marriage propaganda i think when people lived to be 35 and had to spend most of their time ensuring their survival it was easier to make one pairing work for life. things are not always that simple anymore. had quite a strange week m'self |
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11-04-2009, 08:50 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 12,690
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That being said, I don't see anything wrong with flirting, but you DO need to realize that a lot (<--key words, not ALL, but a lot) of men view flirting as a serious sign of interest whereas I think flirting is a rather harmless tool for attention for women. In other words, if you flirt with a man, be prepared for him to take that as a serious sign that you are interested in him as more than just a friend. | |
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11-04-2009, 09:23 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 863
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Prevention is better than cure. You may have heard that saying. Why light a small camp fire, if you are not so sure that you will able to put it out? Sometimes in California what began as a little spark, converts into a raging forest fire in which hundreds are force to flee their homes. So if you want your marriage to last, it may be in your interest to not stoke the flirtations. Last edited by MiBeloved; 11-05-2009 at 02:50 AM. |
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11-05-2009, 02:48 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,897
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Yeah that's a good point James81. I've had guys think I wanted to sleep with them just because I was being a little flirty...but isn't that a human thing...we kinda do it without even realising it...or I do sometimes anyway! It's happened so many times now, and then I get the guys friends asking me "what's up with that...you acted like you wanted him" but I didn't think I did, I was just flirting or being friendly...and they took it the wrong way and thought I was being a tease...but I wasn't...consciously anyway.
Last edited by blossom; 11-05-2009 at 02:52 AM. |
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11-05-2009, 07:22 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: South Yorkshire, England
Posts: 9
| hi
I think the replies I have read confirm there is real danger that this has gone way beyond flirting. I speak as a man who has been there, gone beyond the mark and somehow because of an amazing spouse managed to hold on to his marriage. I would simply say examine what you really want while at the same time being careful what you wish for. x
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11-05-2009, 06:58 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Retired Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: gone
Posts: 1,061
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