Problems with mom

[Muzzinho]

After leaving high school, I went on to study at university but gave up in the first year. The following year, I did another different degree and gave up on it too. There was 2 reasons I believe, I did not enjoy what I was studying and I had no discipline - as soon as it got tough, I gave up!

After that, around the age of 20, I decided to head abroad to volunteer, because I thought that would give me some direction in life. After spending 6 months abroad, I sincerely believe that I have found my love. I am now studying languages and thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. However, it is only a part time course, for most of the day, I just sit at home, my moms house that is. She is fed up, that is what I feel. My father left the family and I am the oldest son. She has financial burdens. I cannot support her since I have no job. I think that she made MANY mistakes in keeping my dad as long as she did, this broke the family apart.

I guess, from her perspective, I am not using my time wisely, and its true. However, I cannot forgive her for her past mishaps with my dad. She is angry at me for not providing or succeeding in life. At the same, she tells me she loves me, but I truly doubt it, since she makes many back handed remarks about me and I do not feel her love at all.

I cannot leave because living alone is very expensive in a city like london. Hopefully, once I get a job, I can help out financially, but in the meanwhile, how should I deal with living with my mom when causes many conflicts?

Any ideas?

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

I am now studying languages and thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. However, it is only a part time course, for most of the day, I just sit at home, my moms house that is. She is fed up, that is what I feel. My father left the family and I am the oldest son. She has financial burdens. .

Couldn't you be more considerate towards your mother if she's the only breadwinner in the family?

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

I cannot support her since I have no job. I think that she made MANY mistakes in keeping my dad as long as she did, this broke the family apart.

How is your not having a job connected to her 'mistakes'?

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

I guess, from her perspective, I am not using my time wisely, and its true. However, I cannot forgive her for her past mishaps with my dad.

Again, what does one have to do with the other? Is this your way of punishing her? Are you sure you know all the details from their marriage to blame her for everything? Do you believe if your dad was still around you'd be financially better off so you wouldn't feel such pressure to help with the money?

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

At the same, she tells me she loves me, but I truly doubt it, since she makes many back handed remarks about me and I do not feel her love at all..

What kind of remarks? If she does so I'm not saying it's okay.

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

I cannot leave because living alone is very expensive in a city like london. Hopefully, once I get a job, I can help out financially, but in the meanwhile, how should I deal with living with my mom when causes many conflicts?
Any ideas?

You say that for most of the day you sit at home. Why don't you find a part time job? That way you wouldn't be around each other all day, you'd have your own money and you'd show her you're doing something.

[Muzzinho]

Yes, I think that is the best thing to do, thank you for the kind words.