Adultery and Alzheimer

[ar81]

What do you think?

Is It Still Adultery if Your Spouse Has Alzheimer's? - WSJ.com

[The Big D]

I think it's natural to seek companionship, but sexual relations take it too far. Giving up on your marriage vows because your partner is too sick to object is the ultimate betrayal.

[IFeelGood]

I don't know if I would be able to have sex with someone else while my spouse was sick with alzheimers unless we had a prior agreement that if one or the other was mentally and emotionally unavailable it would be acceptable.

I think it would be very lonely and difficult not to be in a relationship with someone else. Many Alzheimers patients revert to childlike behavior and do not recognize loved ones. They can be physically very strong and live for many years like this.

There are other instances, such as people who live long term in a coma, where this would apply for me. It is certainly something for married/long term partners to think about and talk about.

Thanks for bringing this up ar81

[gigij]

Originally Posted by The Big D

I think it's natural to seek companionship, but sexual relations take it too far. Giving up on your marriage vows because your partner is too sick to object is the ultimate betrayal.

It's not like he abandoned her - he is still taking care of her. I say it's fine. He's not hurting anyone and he's making himself happy. Making the best out of a bad situation.

[Indiana]

Whoops. When I read the title I thought this was about when your spouse is having affairs because they keep forgetting they're married.

I have seen Alzheimers close-up and it is a very cruel disease. The frustration and sadness of the family of sufferers is intense. Caring for a spouse or family member who does not recognise you or remember how to do everyday things (like drink a cup of tea or get dressed) is very draining.

I don't think I could be too judgmental of someone who seeks other support and companionship after their spouse has a complete mental break. I imagine there would be legal issues with trying to divorce someone who does not recognise the implications of the contract.

It should be a situation discussed early in your marriage. If I developed Alzheimers or an incapacitating illness and my spouse wanted to care for me but also have a companion, I think that would be all right.

[suddentwist]

I think it's fine, after all people need emotional connections. Most people however, are too drained, physically and emotionally, from taking care of their spouse to even think about being with someone else.

[Gene]

I do not have a problem with someone seeking intimacy when their spouse is in the late stages of the disease and unable to connect. If my wife was still taking care of me or overseeing my care and she needed to be with someone else to have the kind of human contact she would need I hereby give her permission with my blessings.