Why do I feel like people are watching me in public places?

[improver]

Is it just me being paranoid or are people really not looking at me? I have the feeling that everywhere I go, everyone is paying attention at me.

Is there a way to stop thinking like this, because I assume it's just my mind playing tricks on me.

[cylon]

You are just extremely self-conscious.

[brendannz]

Everybody has this to an extent, I used to be very self conscious.. Still am a bit, but much less..

It's possible that by thinking in this way, you're finding the people who may be looking at you and judging you.

But most people have lives of their own to worry about, and you want to be around people who have lives of their own to mind.

[IFeelGood]

Do you have a distinguishing feature/style of dress/ unusual piercings/ shiny red convertible ferrari/extreme height, weight, dazzling supermodel looks?

If any of the above apply, I would say that people are noticing you more than average. Otherwise, it might be you being conscious of yourself as others have mentioned.

I once broke my leg and was on crutches for a while. I noticed a big difference in people looking at me. Also, one summer I overhighlighted my hair and was blond when usually my hair is medium to light brown. I definitely got noticed more but I didn't really like that attention.

[cylon]

I was actually with my sister and my nephew at a park several weeks ago, my nephew is about 11 years old, and he was complaining that the other people in the park were staring at him and making fun of him and it just made me sad to hear him think of himself that way. Obviously no one even noticed him in any bad way at all. He's hasn't had the easiest time being a kid.

But I was also sad because I knew exactly what he meant, because I used to feel the exact same way, especially in adolescence. I always thought people were looking at me, or whispering about me, or laughing. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

I'm not exactly sure HOW I got over that, probably by getting a little older, and becoming much more aware of my own thoughts. We are our worst critics. We can have negative self-talk in our heads all the time and not realize that there is an actual dialogue of thoughts saying "I'm bad" "No one likes me" "Everyone's laughing".

Ask yourself if YOU would watch someone else in public spaces and judge them. That answer might not be so clear at first. But once you are certain that you would not do that, you can learn to trust that others may have a similar attitude.

[David Turnbull]

I'm still quite self conscious, and have similar feelings to your own, but reading Psycho-Cybernetics was quite helpful. Should probably check it out.

[ssandra]

I used to feel the same. What got me over it is to realise that I am not the center of the universe.. Other people are just as worried about themselves, they don´t have time to worry about me. I am not that important

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by improver

I have the feeling that everywhere I go, everyone is paying attention at me.

Maybe they do. And if they do, so what?

Do you look at other people?

[improver]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Maybe they do. And if they do, so what?

Do you look at other people?

Yes, I look at other people when they pass by me, or are sitting beside me, etc..

[cylon]

Originally Posted by improver

Yes, I look at other people when they pass by me, or are sitting beside me, etc..

Well there you go. Stop judging yourself and you'll be less inclined to judge others. Once you do that, you'll be less inclined to judge that they're judging you.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by improver

Is it just me being paranoid or are people really not looking at me? I have the feeling that everywhere I go, everyone is paying attention at me.

Is there a way to stop thinking like this, because I assume it's just my mind playing tricks on me.

Well, peoples' eyeballs move toward where there is movement. So what if they look? Maybe they're bored and need to entertain their eyes....or they think you're fabulous. Don't let it bother you, people use eyes for looking. It's really no big deal. Besides, don't you think you're worth being looked at?

[vartann]

in my early twenties i cad a kind of "epiphany" -

walking down the streets with my gf, i beheld a red Porsche - convertible Carrera2 - was right in front of us - said "now that's the car i want"
never was much after cars, Ferraris or stuff but this model had always appealed to me

she replied "which car" ??.
i said "why, THIS very nice one - "
she said "honey there s no car"
i said "WTF ??. the gorgeous red Beetle RIGHT HERE under your nose"
she said "oh THAT one... i hadn t noticed"

later on she showed me which car she really would fall for - a French R5, lots of vulgarly customs tainted windows, fins and all, cloying yellow painting and cheap stereo blasters...

it took me 10 more years to understand Subjective Reality

(i know what you'll think, but my gf WAS gorgeous)

Pace e Salute

[Plays With Life]

Is there something particular that bothers you about people looking at you? If they look at you and give you a coy sexy smile, is that OK?

I think some people have this sense that "why is no one looking at me ?!". They crave it. And so they go out of their way to make themselves noticeable.

[IFeelGood]

Improver,
It's ok. You can look at people all you want. Just try not to judge them so much or else it might come back to you as you feeling judged.

[Plays With Life]

This reminds me of that song -

I always feel like ..
Somebody's watching me ..

[improver]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

This reminds me of that song -

I always feel like ..
Somebody's watching me ..

..ugh yeah.. hehe

[brendannz]

I've found there's a lot of people that will make you feel like they're watching you and judging you, depending on who you are.

Well actually, there's only a few people, but if you let them make you feel that way, the experience seems immense

But then you realise that they're the loser people, and the last people you need to worry about, anyway

I still am somewhat self-conscious, but nowhere near as much as I used to be. 5 years ago, I thought that people were monsters, and in 5 years time, I think I'll be able to socialise well, without that anxiety.

[blossom]

Hey Brendannz: Wow, about 5 years ago I also thought people were monsters! Nice to know I wasn't the only one...and that we've both progressed since then, cos that was a tough time I tell ya

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by blossom

Hey Brendannz: Wow, about 5 years ago I also thought people were monsters! Nice to know I wasn't the only one...and that we've both progressed since then, cos that was a tough time I tell ya

blossom; my problem was a bit of social phobia, but also I was too nice to people, and so people saw me as an easy target, and plus when you believe people are monsters, you find a lot of people who are monsters Like, most people were nice to me, but when you focus on how nasty people are, you see it more.. It was partly paranoia, and partly naivety..

I'm still getting over my self-consciousness really, but my early 20s really sucked (when life's supposed to be best) because of my own feelings of alienation, and now the last 3 years of my life, have been WAAAYY better, and more fun... It's good to see life as a process of evolving..

OP; you're self conscious, and this forum post may reveal to you that a lot of people seems to be able to relate with the feelings that you're feeling, so try not to worry too much, it's not something that's unique to you.

Everybody goes around feeling separate from the world, when really we're all a part of the same one-ness and connected with one another. Steve Pavlina's got quite a few articles on this..

[Andrew Brunelle]

I say let em look, let em judge. It's not your concern. It's theirs. I wouldn't waste my time worrying about what people you don't even know think of you. Neither should you. It's just a waste of time. Worry about what you think of yourself.