Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

spirit4711 · 11-03-2009, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blossom

I never said that you did say FW 'should' stop wallowing...only that you had implied that they were still wallowing and it seemed to bother you, so you wanted to know what he was going to do about it rather than wallow. Is that more accurate?

I don't really care if he wants to wallow all his life. It doesn't bother me if he wallows. I suggest to him that other actions may be more effective, that is all.

Blossom, I think you read too much in what I write in this thread. Let's wait for FW's response, if any. If you want, let's continue in PM.

blossom · 11-03-2009, 10:01 PM

It's possible. It's happened before.

blossom · 11-04-2009, 12:23 AM

Hope you feel better FoxWeasel. Are they 2 totem animals you relate to? Fox and weasel? Just wondering...

rei · 11-04-2009, 01:10 AM

fox, i would not have phrased it quite as spirit did, but i did see a tendency in your posts to get a bit dramatic... if that is comfortable for you and if it feels healthy then neither i nor anyone else can tell you to do differently (technically none of us here have authority over you, so you do as you please anyway - the worst that could happen here is you might get banned). a certain amount of romantic pining is normal for losing a first love, and only if there is a pattern of extreme emotional conflict and exaggeration in your life up to that point is it even worth looking at.

sometimes in these forums the wires get crossed. and sometimes when we get incredibly defensive (as you did, in response to spirit) it may just be that we felt attacked - or it may be that we were triggered because it was a truth we weren't really comfortable admitting. i will not attempt to decide which of these is the case here, but i do invite you to consider which one feels right - and you may not be able to trust your first reaction on this one - consider looking at it with some calm reflection and you can trust what comes in that state of calm.

blossom · 11-25-2009, 10:19 PM

I realize this post is now dead, but I just discovered that someone who posted or lurked here left a rather abrupt message and neg rep for me, and I'm curious to know exactly where I made it about me?

Telling me (anonymously of course) that "it's not about YOU" when I think nearly every post I entered was focused on the OP just leaves me a bit confused I guess...strange that

So all I can say is this:

If you have some constructive feedback for me, whoever you are, at least have the guts to PM me and make yourself known...it's just a little too easy to pass off your own passive-aggressive projections without revealing yourself otherwise...grow a pair! I think I know who you are but of course I can't prove it since you took the cowards way! Oh well...

rei · 11-25-2009, 10:53 PM

blossom, i understand how you feel!
someone gave me a neg rep for using my typing style of not capitalizing all the time - without even trying to contact me to see why! (i have reasons, one of the mods here found them interesting and that person's perception of me changed a good bit once that person got the spiel about it.) so i agree with you, it is more productive to actually get in touch with a person to express how you feel in a way that is not one-sided.

and if anyone here would like to know why i don't capitalize all the time, feel free to PM me.

blossom · 11-25-2009, 10:57 PM

Thanks Rei. Boy, getting a neg rep for not capitalizing...that speaks volumes about the person sending it to you if you ask me!

I don't mind if someone has an issue they want to discuss with me, but hiding being their screen and saying it...that really blows!

11-25-2009, 10:19 PM	#35 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	I realize this post is now dead, but I just discovered that someone who posted or lurked here left a rather abrupt message and neg rep for me, and I'm curious to know exactly where I made it about me? Telling me (anonymously of course) that "it's not about YOU" when I think nearly every post I entered was focused on the OP just leaves me a bit confused I guess...strange that So all I can say is this: If you have some constructive feedback for me, whoever you are, at least have the guts to PM me and make yourself known...it's just a little too easy to pass off your own passive-aggressive projections without revealing yourself otherwise...grow a pair! I think I know who you are but of course I can't prove it since you took the cowards way! Oh well... Last edited by blossom; 11-25-2009 at 10:32 PM.

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11-03-2009, 10:01 PM	#32 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	It's possible. It's happened before.

11-04-2009, 12:23 AM	#33 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	Hope you feel better FoxWeasel. Are they 2 totem animals you relate to? Fox and weasel? Just wondering...

11-04-2009, 01:10 AM	#34 (permalink)
rei Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere Posts: 9,713	fox, i would not have phrased it quite as spirit did, but i did see a tendency in your posts to get a bit dramatic... if that is comfortable for you and if it feels healthy then neither i nor anyone else can tell you to do differently (technically none of us here have authority over you, so you do as you please anyway - the worst that could happen here is you might get banned). a certain amount of romantic pining is normal for losing a first love, and only if there is a pattern of extreme emotional conflict and exaggeration in your life up to that point is it even worth looking at. sometimes in these forums the wires get crossed. and sometimes when we get incredibly defensive (as you did, in response to spirit) it may just be that we felt attacked - or it may be that we were triggered because it was a truth we weren't really comfortable admitting. i will not attempt to decide which of these is the case here, but i do invite you to consider which one feels right - and you may not be able to trust your first reaction on this one - consider looking at it with some calm reflection and you can trust what comes in that state of calm.

11-25-2009, 10:53 PM	#36 (permalink)
rei Family Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: earth, everywhere and nowhere Posts: 9,713	blossom, i understand how you feel! someone gave me a neg rep for using my typing style of not capitalizing all the time - without even trying to contact me to see why! (i have reasons, one of the mods here found them interesting and that person's perception of me changed a good bit once that person got the spiel about it.) so i agree with you, it is more productive to actually get in touch with a person to express how you feel in a way that is not one-sided. and if anyone here would like to know why i don't capitalize all the time, feel free to PM me.

11-25-2009, 10:57 PM	#37 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	Thanks Rei. Boy, getting a neg rep for not capitalizing...that speaks volumes about the person sending it to you if you ask me! I don't mind if someone has an issue they want to discuss with me, but hiding being their screen and saying it...that really blows!

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums