How Important are Social Skills?

[brendannz]

What do you guys think?

I think I've got a fairly "live and let live" attitude, so I'm not really judgemental about other peoples social skills, or even all that conscious about how others are in their social skills..

It might be, that I don't read nervousness etc. in other people so much, but maybe it does exist.

I just think that being un-social sucks, because you don't get to know other people. But other than that, I don't really base people on their social skill-set, and also I'm more likely to be friends with introverts or people who are less talkative anyway.

Maybe I view it, it's whats inside that counts, but good social skills enables you to connect with others easier.

(this thread might be a bit on the random side of things)

[Coffeesmurf]

Originally Posted by brendannz

It might be, that I don't read nervousness etc. in other people so much, but maybe it does exist.

It does exist - be careful about comparing your inside to other peoples outside. A lot of very confident looking public speakers are extremely nervous during their talks and presentations - they just don't allow the anxiety to affect their performance noticeable.

There's no universal importance to social skills - people are very different. If they are important to you, work on them. But a lot of people live perfectly good lives with less than perfect social skills.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

It does exist - be careful about comparing your inside to other peoples outside. A lot of very confident looking public speakers are extremely nervous during their talks and presentations - they just don't allow the anxiety to affect their performance noticeable.

There's no universal importance to social skills - people are very different. If they are important to you, work on them. But a lot of people live perfectly good lives with less than perfect social skills.

Maybe it depends on your work and the people in your life.. I guess.

Being "All social skills" is like all style no substance, and having no social skills means no friends or jobs, I guess..

Just a thought.

[Aleksander Krstic]

Originally Posted by brendannz

It might be, that I don't read nervousness etc. in other people so much, but maybe it does exist.

Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne

[Coffeesmurf]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Maybe it depends on your work and the people in your life.. I guess.

Being "All social skills" is like all style no substance, and having no social skills means no friends or jobs, I guess..

Just a thought.

But social skills or not - you're still the same person underneath. My social skills have improved greatly during the last six years, but I'm still basically the same person I was back then.. and I've always had friends and a great job, despite being "socially challenged".

Not to say that it isn't easier to connect with new friends if you have better social skills..

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

Not to say that it isn't easier to connect with new friends if you have better social skills..

Yeah, I suppose nobody's really assessing your social skills really that heavily, unless you stutter, or mumble and they can't hear you, or they might be judgemental losers.

Talking's not what I do best, generally, but I'm getting better.

[Coffeesmurf]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Yeah, I suppose nobody's really assessing your social skills really that heavily, unless you stutter, or mumble and they can't hear you, or they might be judgemental losers.

Talking's not what I do best, generally, but I'm getting better.

Exactly. I used to be told "you don't say much" back then, but usually by people who talked and talked and never really said anything important. I prefer being quiet if I have nothing to say - both now and then.

I have a friend who stutters and feel sympathy for her, when she has trouble completing a sentence. I imagine most people feel the same for people who come off as shy or mumble. Personally, I think a little shyness is endearing.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

Exactly. I used to be told "you don't say much" back then, but usually by people who talked and talked and never really said anything important. I prefer being quiet if I have nothing to say - both now and then.

I have a friend who stutters and feel sympathy for her, when she has trouble completing a sentence. I imagine most people feel the same for people who come off as shy or mumble. Personally, I think a little shyness is endearing.

Yeah, I've been told "You don't say much" a few times. (not lately) I think those people just don't understand that they're being rude..

I've been trolled for mumbling a few times in my life too.. ahh well..

I've also learnt the best way of dealing with social anxiety is remembering everyones favourite subject is themselves.. so talk about them

[Magicinthenight]

I think a socially adept person will not have a problem even if someone is a bit nervous or shy.

Personally, I believe shyness/showing some nervousness is actually a good sign: you're not coming across as overwhelming but the fact you're nervous shows you want to make good impression. I would actually argue that for someone to comment on mumbling or other signs of nervousness shows their lack of social skills as it's going to make the person feel more uncomfortable.

[pjhaggerty]

How important are social skills? depends on your goals. if you want to be a hermit, i don't really see the importance. but for most other situations I think they're pretty important.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by pjhaggerty

How important are social skills? depends on your goals. if you want to be a hermit, i don't really see the importance. but for most other situations I think they're pretty important.

Depends how you define what skills are, since you're not really given an instruction manual on how to live, and sometimes spontaneity is the most natural way to be..

[Aleksander Krstic]

I think they're very important.