Do nice guys put up with more than they should?

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I couldn't decide which webcomic was more fitting in response:

Doormat Guy: Subnormality: o--o
Doormat Girl: Subnormality: Down at the beach

I got a worse comic for you;

The nice guy: The Nice Guy

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by brendannz

I got a worse comic for you;

The nice guy: The Nice Guy

I dunno. You'd have to compete with Subnormality: Associations and Subnormality: Webcomic About Video Games.

[joelr]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Because the partner who finds a new partner quickly while still in a relationship, and has the old partner believing all is more or less OK, is acting dishonest?

I have been such an old partner and the break-up was worse for me because of this dishonesty. Adding insult to injury, so to speak.

I wouldn't like to be the new partner either. How can I be sure that at some point I wouldn't be treated the same as my predecessor?

Yes it could be dishonest. If it was done to me I'm sure it would make the breakup worse.
I still understand why someone would resort to irrational actions as a pain buffer. Unfortunately experience with painful breakups doesn't seem to cause a tolerance, each time the psyche can withdraw further into the abyss.

[joelr]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

Yeah, breakups hurt.. but sometimes you've got to do something that causes you pain, simply because it's the right thing to do. Going through life trying to avoid pain at all costs sounds like an empty life to live to me. Often, it's the painful things in life that build real character and offer personal development.

I know a lot of people can't stand not being in a relationship and will do anything not to be alone - but maybe they should work on being happy alone instead of trying to achieve happiness from being with a partner.

No I agree, painful experiences are the absolute best growth experiences. definitely!

One has to know their limits though. This part is sort of swept under the rug, the fact that humans have limits.
The ~35,000 annual suicides in the US show that these limits are not always respected and if crossed the emotional pain is just as lethal as any terminal illness.
Sometimes, a person has to help themselves stay alive while they seek treatment. A new lover won't eliminate all breakup pain anyway. For a suicidal person it could trigger enough dopamine/whatever to keep them stable while the professionals figure out a treatment plan.