Making good friends..help please!

[bro2009]

Hello Everyone,

This is my first time posting here and I am really looking forward to taking part in the forums.
I have been having a lot of difficulty in some areas of my life, especially in regards to making good, solid friends..I just don't know how to do it. The thing is that I recently moved alone to a new city, where I don't know many people. It has been about 5 months now.

Where I lived before, I had my family, which includes my two brothers and my parents. Thus, I always had people around me. I also went to college there so I knew a few people. I'm a guy, gay and also not much of an outgoing person. But before, I didn't really feel the need to make close friends. I always had my brothers and the people I knew at college.

But things are different now. Now, here, I really feel the need to have some (at least one) close friends. Since I am actually alone now, I want to make friends and do stuff or I get super bored and somewhat depressed being stuck at home. Just hate having no one to talk to and I really hate doing things alone. But I just don't know how to do this. I don't go to school or anything and just have a part time job.

I have met some nice people through work and I also went to a few meetup group meetings (an online meetup kinda thing) to meet people. The problem I have is that, pretty much everyone I meet at these places are quite older than me. Of course, I love the company, but sometimes don't feel like I relate to them at all, they seem to be at different stages in their lives, obviously. On two separate occasions, I did get to know two people pretty well. They were both a bit older. However, both times, the friendships just disappeared. One of them just vanished off the face of the planet and the other just doesn't seem interested. Maybe I am too young/immature or something for them?? Then I thought I made a good friend with this other guy, but it seems he was only interested in me sexually. So after I said I wasn't interested, that didn't work out either.

I was wondering, if you guys had any ideas as to how I could get to know some people, preferably around my age (early 20s). I am not a party animal or anything, it's just so I will relate to someone for once. I just want one or two solid friends, people I can count on and talk to. I'm sick of these people that just abandon me after a while. Anyone else having similar problems?? I am not looking for sympathy or attention, just something practical. Do you guys have any suggestions?? Btw, sorry that was so long..and thank you for reading this far!

[KtotheB]

What about joining some clubs or groups; or taking some night classes to meet up with people who have similar interests? I've met a lot of new friends that way who are on my "wavelength"

[suddentwist]

Clubs, as mentioned above, is a great way to meet people of all ages that have the same interests as you. I recently moved to Tbilisi, Georgia and although I have my boyfriend, I too feel the need for a friend. I've never had many, but the ones I've had were and still are wonderful. With an 8 (soon 9) hour difference, it's hard to keep in touch however. So, I too find myself alone some days. Just as an example, I've joined a language club. I'm taking Georgian classes and also teaching English classes to advanced students. I've met a lot of great people this way, and although no real connections have been made so far, it's still early on in our relationship. Who knows, maybe one friendship will blossom.

Another thing you could try is to force yourself to do things alone. Sure, it might not be as much fun and it might be a little intimidating sometimes, but I've met some wonderful people while doing things alone at very random locations. I met one of my ex boyfriends at Wal mart, for example. We were both browsing the magazine section solo. I also met an individual that greatly influenced my life while on a day trip, again, solo. It might be intimidating at first, to go out and pretend to have fun by yourself, but if you practice it a few times, you'll see you'll actually start enjoying it and you might win some great connections from it too.

[Guru Shakti]

Hello! I can totally relate to you. I can remember back in high school, I was the odd one out. Not to say you are the odd one out. But, I know what it is like to want to create good friendships and be un able to manifest this.

This is what helped me! I decided I wanted to meet people with my same interests. I joined a dance studio and danced there once a week, with women my same age. That was all it took. Now I was surrounded by ladies my age, with my same interests!

So, what do you enjoy doing? How about sitting down, making a list, go online and do some research. Try signing up for some activity, sport, or group. Make sure it's one that has people your same age.

Also my husband an I have done something called a Reality Board, for years now! You simply take a big poster board, cut out images that inspire you, and paste them on. These images are things you want to have or experiance in your life. You could post a group of friends, having a good time. I look at my vision board daily and it totally inspires me. Now I've gone through 3 boards, because I keep crossing things off once they are make reality.

This is fun and I promise you it works. Our vision and feelings create so much of our life, so take advantage of them! Good luck!