Attractive Girl with Annoying Unattractive Friend in a Nightclub (Male Posting!)

[brendannz]

[QUOTE=blossom;437800]

Aaaww thanks Brendannz Nice of you to say...I am pretty nice, which some people percieve to mean 'doormat', people are certainly strange at times hey!

society can be very small minded, petty and strange, sometimes.. :S

I can see why some people might get that idea too, alot of people don't really know how to take me...but I'm really just a stickler for old fashioned honesty...it's kinda my own brand of spiritual discipline. It's actually incredibly difficult to maintain in this society, since it seems to be geered towards forcing people to lie about nearly everything Bit backwards really.

Seems the default way for working and relating is fairly different to being yourself honestly, but, I find this site stevepavlina.com has some excellent articles for making it work, in work and relationships..

I think the more honest you are towards the world the more honest they are towards you, which beats living an illusion..

You seem very nice also

I do my best

[blossom]

This is true. Fortunately, there are quite a few people who are creating a more honest world every day...which is a constant source of hope for me

[James81]

I will give you a truce, Daffy.

[Daffy Duck]

That's good, James. You and I have never got along and I'm glad we can put all that behind us. The bottom line is that we're both trying our best in this crazy world.

[James81]

I'm just tired of all the bickering.

[Holistic Star]

Originally Posted by cylon

What I don't buy is this notion that was put out that women are annoyed when out in a social setting and men approach, and that guys should know better than to come up and say hi. That seems a little cruel to me.

Hi Cylon - first, just want to clarify that I didn't give you a neg rep point either. Never given anyone a neg rep point and don't intend to start now.

Also going back to the argument I wanted to clear up this thing about being annoyed about being approached, because I was the one who raised it and I think we have a misunderstanding and I think it has annoyed you

If a guy does what you described in an earlier post - which is make eye contact and get non-verbal signals to approach. That is fine, good, great, wonderful, fun, joyous etc! Really don't have a problem with that. Flirting is wonderful fun in the right context. I've done it many, many times myself - love it.

I don't even have a problem with guys using a spurious excuse to talk to women, e.g. borrowing a lighter, asking for the time, asking which dj is playing etc. All fine. At least he's taking some action and can lead into a normal conversation and a bit of light flirting. No problem from me here.

With me so far?

When I said I got irritated, was because the men where I live seem to think that getting up into someone's face and dancing intimidatingly close to them, AND not getting the hint when the women turns her back and ignores them is the way to make a move. It IS irritating to say the least. When you can't go from the dancefloor to the bar without 10 guys yelling 'Awight gorgeous?' or 'Awight darlin' in your ear! and leering at you, or worse 'Don't see many of those to the pound do you?' as they stare at your chest. You might find your zen blisslikeness start to fade as the irritation rises.

Still I have a cast iron defence now. Flashing the wedding ring is like pouring icewater over them!

Still makes me laugh when the opening line is 'Do you have a boyfriend?' and I smile sweetly and say 'No, husband.' and they disappear before I have time to say 'but even if I was single, I wouldn't be interested!' (Not sure I would ever actually say that though!)

Also - will pick you up on a point. You said you don't like women who are assertive in a masculine way as it turns off men. Frankly I don't give two hoots if my behaviour turns off men - because I'm not on the pull! So why should I care if I turn men off.

[rei]

Daffy, i think i caught cylon off-guard with that round of posts... it was kinda late, and you can see we both got silly.

hopefully it will stand anyway (i'm not a fan of conflict that seems rather pointless to me), but i do think that's part of it. as blossom or someone said, i've also had people think i was stuck up, but for most of my adult life people have thought i was down to earth so i'll take that over the stuck up option as it seems more accurate to me.

[James81]

cylon seems like a good bloke. I agree with *most* of what he says. I just think he's a tad overkill with the "women are opressing" men type of posts (I know he doesn't say that explicitly but that's how he comes across).

But I can appreciate that because I was there once. Had to rearrange some beliefs to get out of that trap of thinking, but it's all good.

[James81]

Oh and speaking of rep points, I really wish the powers that be would set it so that we can see who is leaving us a rep.

[rei]

happy to be available for being used...
oh wait...

yeah i think most people aside from obvious trolls are just doing the best they can. really i guess even trolls are doing the best they can to stir up conflict.

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by James81

Oh and speaking of rep points, I really wish the powers that be would set it so that we can see who is leaving us a rep.

That would be nice, if the forum even has that option.

But if it were entirely up to me, I'd remove the reputation feature all-together. All members here are "good" -- the bad ones (who would have negative reputation) are banned anyway, so why have it? It just seems like a pointless feature which is why I mock it.

Originally Posted by rei

yeah i think most people aside from obvious trolls are just doing the best they can. really i guess even trolls are doing the best they can to stir up conflict.

True, true. Brian Tracy drilled this idea in my head: "Everyone does the best they can with what they have at the moment."

[James81]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

That would be nice, if the forum even has that option.

But if it were entirely up to me, I'd remove the reputation feature all-together. All members here are "good" -- the bad ones (who would have negative reputation) are banned anyway, so why have it? It just seems like a pointless feature which is why I mock it.

Yeah, that option is available cause I've seen it on other forums.

And I like the rep thing for the comments part of it. Another forum I'm on is big into the rep points, and it's mostly because of the comment feature moreso than the points. I've had whole conversations in the rep funtion over there. Neat way to not derail a thread, but not have a full blown private message convo either.

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by James81

And I like the rep thing for the comments part of it. Another forum I'm on is big into the rep points, and it's mostly because of the comment feature moreso than the points. I've had whole conversations in the rep funtion over there. Neat way to not derail a thread, but not have a full blown private message convo either.

I see. Yeah, I can see the usefulness of that. So if I wanted to congratulate you on a nice post, I could do it quickly that way, instead of derailing or filling up the thread with a bunch of "Oh good point, James" and "Nice point, James" and "Oh your arms are so cuddly, James."

[James81]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

I see. Yeah, I can see the usefulness of that. So if I wanted to congratulate you on a nice post, I could do it quickly that way, instead of derailing or filling up the thread with a bunch of "Oh good point, James" and "Nice point, James" and "Oh your arms are so cuddly, James."

Werd.

And thank you for not tacking on the "81" to my name. Lots of people do that and it drives me batty. I know it's my username, but it's only cause I'm not the original James.

[Michelle]

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