White Man Wanted

[Nimo]

Funny post huh? Not really. I'd like to meet an intelligent and responsible white man for a sincere friendship..who knows, nature has a magical way to it..know what i mean? Drop me a post. S.m.i.l.e

[marinik]

Why color specific?

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by marinik

Why color specific?

Are people not allowed to have preferences?

[aelle]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

Are people not allowed to have preferences?

A preference a priori that depends on birth not choice is a prejudice.

[Brutha]

Without knowing where you live it's highly unlikely that you would find someone. When it comes to relationships it's location, location, location.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

Are people not allowed to have preferences?

We've evolved past personal preferences. Now you have to curtail your preferences so other people don't get offended on what your preferences are. Basically, sacrifice your preferences to satisfy the preferences of others.

[joelr]

Ha thats true.


All's fair in love and war. Well, in love at least. She likes white guys, who cares??
I have seen hundreds of ads that read - black woman seeking black male - or insert any race/nationality/religion/philosophy in there.

Sexual/romantic preferences are allowed to be in the ad. It saves time and effort. She may not even be white herself!?

[Nimo]

As much as I understand your concerns, I will not justify my preference for a white man (NOTE: Not prejudice against black, asian or hispanic men). You are all entitled to your opinions as I am mine. I am East African (black), below 30, highly educated and gainfully employed (additional personal details will be provided to those interested). I reside in Africa...and was that an assumption that am female? Maybe I am, maybe am not...what about my initial post indicates my gender? I reiterate, white man wanted for a sincere friendship. If I have offended anyone with my preference for a white man, grow a hide!

[rei]

oh boy...

ok Nimo, i'm sure you are a lovely person regardless of your gender!
but - this is awful - when i read your latest post, i found myself thinking of those Nigerian email scams! argh! Nigeria is not even part of East Africa so i'm sure your intentions are not dishonest and this assumption was entirely illogical.

as long as you aren't looking to scam someone i am sure you will get what you are looking for. and i am not even sure why i am sharing the assumption i made. just because i guess.

[Trezker]

I agree that all is fair in war, because war is not about fairness, it's about winning. War is not a game. If you wanna wage war you should go all out, don't hold anything back.

Love on the other hand has one simple rule. Stick to the truth. Of course, you can ignore that rule, but then you will fail. There's no way around it.

War is about keeping truth, power and love for yourself and bringing deception, weakness and fear to your opponents. War = darkworking.

Love is about bringing love, power and truth to you as well and everyone around you. Love = lightworking.

I think this is quite offtopic, but I had a thought and felt like typing it out.

Ontopic:
I'm an intelligent white man myself, missing the responsible ingredient though. I have responsibility issues.

[Nimo]

Lol rei, now thats prejudice at its finest. Why is it that Africans are thought of in such poor light? Scam? Lol..i appreciate your concern though. I'l be honest with you, the prejudices out here attached to the white man are,..drum roll...Paedophile, homosexual, serial murderer, filthy (devoid of personal hygeine) bla bla bla..try that one on for size. How do those labels fit? I am not a schemer, just as you are not a peadophile. Am a proud african, financially able, intelligent and honest. Note- can u imagine how long it would take me to scam a person in the U.S, U.K etc? If my intention was to scam, our local politicians are moneyed and all they want in return is a f**k, am well equiped..and it'd be much easier plus i'd get paid in my currency..lol. CAVEAT..Am interested in the intelligent kind, those susceptible to scams and schemes are NOT welcome. At T, I like that you are honest about your responsibility issues..everyone's got issues of sorts. Anywho, you're in the right forum, am sure you'l work on those issues just fine. NEXT! Hehe

[blossom]

I gotta say, I wasn't sure how rei managed to interpret what you wrote as sounding similar to nigerian scammers? Would nigerian scammers even bother trying on a forum for intelligent people? They'd be targetting the dumbies wouldn't they?
There are some africans who are desperate and do pull these scams, and there are some who are just greedy...that comes from all strata's of society though, doesn't it. I think we are programmed to fear dark skinned people because of an old and mistaken belief that Black=evil!

What is funny is that africans aren't all "Black" of skin anyway...chocolate brown of varying shades definately, and some are almost purple they are so dark...all with a superior skin pigment that is genetic to them, that allows them to survive in harsh conditions where pale-skinned people would perish...and for that, white people feel inferior to africans? It's all pretty wierd if you ask me.

I thing you are very assertive and intelligent Nimo, and that is bound to attract some pale-face round here...good luck!

[Nimo]

Thanx blossom. I am assertive, honest and intelligent and only want a white man because thats what i want..men go for attractive, big boobed, wrinkle free women..they choose women on physical criteria, so what if my preference is based on race. I am sure i'l get what am looking for. My desire is noble and honest.

[marinik]

Originally Posted by Nimo

..men go for attractive, big boobed, wrinkle free women..they choose women on physical criteria, so what if my preference is based on race. I am sure i'l get what am looking for. My desire is noble and honest.

That is not true. Real men want more, much more.

If your desires are noble and honest the packaging based on color wouldn't matter. Unless it is a fetish of some kind. Then I apologize.

I just had a conversation with a real alpha mail about this, a man of integrity, intelligence, honesty, very successful. He said that having a stunning model for a girlfriend was empty and boring if she wasn't interesting to talk to, had no personality and wasn't passionate . The women who he is with, and adores is 50. Girls of 24 or so, are hitting on him all the time but he just does not care. The non wrinkle free one is the complete package he needs and wants. They have been together for 2 years now. And he is not letting her go.

[Nimo]

Good for the alpha male that he got what he was looking for. I admit, i generalized a little about big boobed women, my point is, we all have preferences be they physical, intellectual, religious etc. Why is my preference for white men being demonized? Its not a fetish! And if it were, would it be so bad? I have dated black african men before and their issues abound..i want a change. Does that makes me a prejudiced, not noble, scam plotting african? Isn't it ironic that am getting comments about my wanting a white man instead of what i really want? Maybe i should change my thread title to read 'comments about wanting a white man'. Lol..isn't this exciting.

[aelle]

Originally Posted by Nimo

my point is, we all have preferences be they physical, intellectual, religious etc.

Some physical or intellectual traits are choices, and it's ok to prefer someone who makes certain kinds of choices. Race is not a choice.

Originally Posted by Nimo

I have dated black african men before and their issues abound..

Here's your problem right there. That is prejudice. The men you've dated have issues therefore all black men have the same issues? You need to stop considering races as homogeneous groups.

[aelle]

Just to be clear, I do realize that there are preferences. It's ok to meet someone, the whole of them, and realize that you are not attracted to them. And if it so happens that most people you find yourself attracted to have certain physical traits, so be it - that's fine. What is not cool in my book is deciding a priori that you won't consider someone because of their race.

[rei]

Originally Posted by blossom

I gotta say, I wasn't sure how rei managed to interpret what you wrote as sounding similar to nigerian scammers? Would nigerian scammers even bother trying on a forum for intelligent people? They'd be targetting the dumbies wouldn't they?
There are some africans who are desperate and do pull these scams, and there are some who are just greedy...that comes from all strata's of society though, doesn't it. I think we are programmed to fear dark skinned people because of an old and mistaken belief that Black=evil!

What is funny is that africans aren't all "Black" of skin anyway...chocolate brown of varying shades definately, and some are almost purple they are so dark...all with a superior skin pigment that is genetic to them, that allows them to survive in harsh conditions where pale-skinned people would perish...and for that, white people feel inferior to africans? It's all pretty wierd if you ask me.

I thing you are very assertive and intelligent Nimo, and that is bound to attract some pale-face round here...good luck!

blossom, there really wasn't any interpretation... many assumptions are knee jerk reactions. i saw east african and saw that Nimo is looking for a white man for a sincere friendship and those Nigerian prince emails were the first thing i thought of. really it's not an issue of race for me. if Nimo is interested in a sincere friendship with a white male for whatever reason, it is her (his?) life. i am not in control of Nimo, so i will not judge Nimo's efforts in this thread. now i do agree with whoever said it is an assumption to decide to befriend those of a different race because the first set of people had issues. (newsflash: pretty much everyone has issues of varying intensity and in various areas of life.)

i live in the deep south of the united states blossom. where civil rights were especially hard won. two generations before mine they were mostly racist. i don't agree with that. actually in mississippi there are still probably many racists, and i think that is embarrassing. for me, i acknowledge skin color and i acknowledge it can influence the nature of life experiences, but beyond that we're all members of the human race.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by aelle

Some physical or intellectual traits are choices, and it's ok to prefer someone who makes certain kinds of choices. Race is not a choice.
...

That's silly. Race, like length, gender, hairy / bald etc, hair / eye colour are a given (though surgery may change some physical characterictics). So why can I have a preference for say skinny ladies but not for e.g. Asian skinny ladies? Or say I'd never date a white lady?

If Nimo wants a white friend that's up to Nimo and nobody else. Let's not get too PC here please.

[Gene]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

That's silly. Race, like length, gender, hairy / bald etc, hair / eye colour are a given (though surgery may change some physical characterictics). So why can I have a preference for say skinny ladies but not for e.g. Asian skinny ladies? Or say I'd never date a white lady?

If Nimo wants a white friend that's up to Nimo and nobody else. Let's not get too PC here please.

I agree with your post. Some people like blond's and some people like brunettes as well as a multitude of other physical characteristics. Preferring a tanned ,white, black or any other characteristic is not in and of itself racist.

[aelle]

I still see a difference between having a preference for blondes and specifically filtering out anyone who's not blond.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by aelle

I still see a difference between having a preference for blondes and specifically filtering out anyone who's not blond.

I only filter out all the people who reject me .

Seriously Aelle, I bet you have your own preferences too, and (unconsciously?) filter out according to those preferences as well. There's no harm in that. I think you're mixing up race discrimination with personal preferences. There's a big difference between 'I prefer my SO to be <insert favourite race>' and 'My race is much better than your race'.

[aelle]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

I only filter out all the people who reject me .

Seriously Aelle, I bet you have your own preferences too, and (unconsciously?) filter out according to those preferences as well. There's no harm in that. I think you're mixing up race discrimination with personal preferences. There's a big difference between 'I prefer my SO to be <insert favourite race>' and 'My race is much better than your race'.

I'm sure I do, but I don't think it's all that harmless. I'm afraid in cases like these, "unconscious preference" means "social conditioning". I don't think racism (and classism, and any other discrimination) should get a free pass when it's unconscious. I understand that not everyone sets the same priorities, but for me it is important to work at deconstructing our preferences and understanding what actually is a natural leaning and what is a societal bias.

[Nimo]

Call it whatever tickles your fancy..prejudice, stereotype, discrimination, aversive racism. Label me a scammer & whatever else you may, my preference is for a white man. I need not justify this to anyone..so if u aint white,male,intelligent and responsible for starters, find another thread to hold your interest..lay off this one. Wtf!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Nimo

Call it whatever tickles your fancy..prejudice, stereotype, discrimination, aversive racism. Label me a scammer & whatever else you may, my preference is for a white man. I need not justify this to anyone..so if u aint white,male,intelligent and responsible for starters, find another thread to hold your interest..lay off this one. Wtf!

Nemo,

Keep in mind this is a discussion board, not a personal ad forum. You can't really exclude people from participating in your thread due to race/gender. You can ask some of them to contact you privately though if you wish.

I don't agree with those who feel it's prejudice to try to attract a certain type of person to you. At the same time, don't be surprise you trigger a button in people with this kind of wording. With the history of problems of racism from America, and to a lesser degree Europe, there is a certain number of people who are trying to make sure there is no racism. Thus you probably triggered their buttons with that thread title.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by aelle

What is not cool in my book is deciding a priori that you won't consider someone because of their race.

It's totally cool with me to do that. That's the great thing about freedom... we can do what we want, be with the people we want, and don't have to get permission from other people on if it's ok or not.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by aelle

A preference a priori that depends on birth not choice is a prejudice.

So are you prejudiced against people who hold prejudices?

Sounds a little hypocritical to me.

If someone is truly unprejudiced, they won't hold it against other people for holding prejudices. It's like people who encourage "diversity", who at the same time ostracize the people who don't want diversity. To have a truly diverse group, you would have to include those individuals who don't even want the diversity.

So to be unprejudiced, you cannot hold prejudices against people who hold prejudices!

[Nimo]

I apologize for using this forum as if it were a personal ad..wouldn't want to attract a ban.

[lifetimelearner]

oh geez guys come on
don't attack the poor girl for an innocent post

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Nimo

I apologize for using this forum as if it were a personal ad..wouldn't want to attract a ban.

It's ok. No possibility of a ban either from this one thread and I don't see a problem with it since it is a rather unique thread. Perhaps if a lot of people were interested in posting personal ads in this forum, we could open up a sub-forum for it .

I was mainly just responding back to your remark asking people to not post in this thread unless they fit a specific gender-race.