Liking the ex's roommate

[moonshooter]

I've started a couple of other threads and for those of you who have read my other threads, it looks like I give off the tendency to spring from dating one person to another, usually resulting in disaster. So I recently decided not to think about dating for awhile. Granted it has only been a little over a month. Anyway, when I was dating my ex, S, I used to hang out at his place all the time and over time bonded with one of his roommates, D. We became really good friends. So after my ex and I broke up (and it was a very non-dramatic breakup), I was still over there periodically hanging out with his roommate who was my friend. The situation wasn't bad in the least, everyone seemed okay and we were all friends.
Anyway their new 3rd roommate, J, eventually moved in this summer. J and D are real good friends and so I eventually started hanging out with J a bit, as well, and I have realized how much fun I have with him. I like J quite a bit. In the beginning, D warned me that dating J might be a bad idea so I kind of pushed it from my thoughts. But at this point, my ex and I have been broken up for almost 3 months. S even has a gal pal that is over there quite frequently. i mean my point is that we have both moved on. I really want to go for J, but there are factors that I am having doubts about it.
1) J is S's roommate. Although I honestly think S will be okay with it. I don't know if some bro-code is being broken.
2) I like J, but I am afraid that I might not have been single long enough (Angela in past threads has motivated me in this situation)

Adding more to the situation, unbeknown-st of my feelings for J, D pushed him to ask out another girl, B. J and B are set to meet up for lunch next week. So I don't know if i should act now before I lose my chance. Or if I should just let it go.
In reality, my connection with J is stronger than I feel like my connection with S ever was. There are so many factors and I am very confused as to what to do. I wish I had the will-power to just let it go, but I really like him. I wonder if I can avoid making everything into a mess, but still come up incredibly happy.

What I was thinking about was just asking him to hang out just the two of us and kind of hinting at him about how i feel (i havent done so quite yet).

I could really use anyone's advice.

[IFeelGood]

I am wondering why D said that dating J would be a bad idea? Is it possible that he might be interested in more than a friendship with you?

I understand that they are all roommates but why not get J out alone? Invite him to go for a walk or for coffee or something...

And regarding what you said
"I've started a couple of other threads and for those of you who have read my other threads, it looks like I give off the tendency to spring from dating one person to another, usually resulting in disaster."

my other thought is... maybe just try a friendship thing with J without the others around to see how it evolves. Give yourself time and get to know him better...

[moonshooter]

I think D said that because he was afraid of me, J, and S being in a somewhat sticky situation.
Do you think inviting J out for a random walk or spontaneous coffee would be too weird? Usually D, J, and I are doing group things together. I would like to see how this friendship evolve with J first (that would be ideal). But it is also more of me feeling like I might miss the boat if J and B and they hit it off.

[Manomanman]

This sounds complicated and I couldn't follow what you're saying.

If you're female, go for it, because <insert opposite sex member> will definitely want to have sex with you. If you're male, it sounds like you're over-thinking it.